Blogging is a weird thing. You want to share a lot about your life, but not everything.
Of course, then you read other people’s blogs and get annoyed at them for not sharing the negative sides of life, but when things are happening to you, you don’t want to share too much…it’s tough to make a balance between being open and honest and being TOO open and honest, particularly when it is something you don’t want all over the internet. Maybe that’s hypocritical, but it’s also smart. Better to put things out there on your own time and with reflection.
This is all to say that you might have noticed I no longer mention my husband on my blog. That’s because we are in the process (what a long process) of getting divorced. It hasn’t been fun, and it definitely is a difficult process, and I don’t recommend it to anyone…but it is for the best. I spent a very long time with him and it’s been incredibly hard getting accustomed to being without him.
I wouldn’t be where I am today without the help of some really wonderful people, many of whom stepped up far beyond what I felt I deserved or needed.
I wanted to get this out in the open, so I can begin to share my thoughts about divorce, and starting over in life, and how things have changed, and how people I thought were friends have reacted, and how people I didn’t realize were such good friends reacted, and just a million thoughts I’ve been holding back on. Now they can all spill out into my blog posts, and I don’t have to cover anymore.
But for today: just to open up and say, yeah, I’m getting divorced. If you didn’t know, or if you wondered, that’s what has been going on. We’ve been separated since June. And I had many reasons for not sharing it on the blog, but I thought it was time to tell you. To make my blog a place I’m comfortable again.
And look, I finished a half marathon yesterday! I’ll tell you about that tomorrow, or soon. It made me really think about how far I’ve come this year, what I’ve accomplished, what I’ve lost and gained, and just how much things have changed.
I’m so sorry. I agree, it’s annoying when people only show the positives and totally ignore the negatives. At the same time, the negative stuff can be hard to talk about. 🙁 Hang in there. And congrats on the race!
Plus often you don’t want friends and family hearing first on your blog. Thanks for commenting and 🙂
You Go, Lady!!
Just so you know, you are allowed to keep some things to yourself. You don’t owe your readers anything.
I hope you are doing well and are bouncing back ok…so glad to hear you took on “The Go”! 🙂
I probably owe my readers more cat pictures though, right? 😉
Oh, Hannah! I am so sorry. So, so sorry. What a difficult time you must be going through. Of course, I agree with Michelle–you don’t owe us any explanation–but having said that, you are also opening up the doors for a bigger support system!
I was just thinking about that concept–how people just show the rosier aspects of their lives, whether on Facebook or on blogs, and how really different it can be behind closed doors. But life isn’t about being perfect. I used to think it was even if I didn’t admit it out loud.
It’s so weird: I”ve never met you in person, but I really feel like I know you like any other friend I have in real life, all because of your blog. So reading about this brought tears to my eyes–wish I could say something that was more profound or helpful or comforting. No doubt it will take lots of time to heal, but please know that at least *this* reader is thinking of and praying for you; if you want or need an extra friend in your life… I’m here! Or if you ever find yourself back in Ohio, I would love to meet you in person and hang. I think we’d hit it off!
Ok, and I hope that’s not creepy :(. ANYWAY. Thank you for sharing that part of your life… that couldn’t have been easy…. and I’m wishing you the very, very best life has to offer. Please take care…. ~Gaby M (aka, “violinista”)
Thanks so much for your kind words! Not creepy at all–it means a lot!
Sorry to hear about your split. Breakups are never easy, even when you know it’s for the best.
Glad that you have a great support system! Take care of yourself.
Thanks so much 🙂
I’m so sorry, Hannah. It can’t be easy, living it or sharing it. And for how the people you thought were friends reacted–ugh. I know enough about divorce to know that it’s a really hard decision, and that you deserve the space and respect to decide what is best for your situation. I’m so glad you have a good support system.
And from here you look like you’re starting over beautifully. Congrats on the half marathon! (After a year of illness followed by an injury, I’m trying–again–to ease back in to running. I’m eager to feel like I can run a half marathon again, myself.)
That’s one of the things I plan to write about someday–people’s reactions and how much they can hurt. Thanks 🙂
So sorry! (I actually didn’t even know you were married… I think I started reading in August or so?)
I hope you can use this space to work out what you need to, but of course it is ok, even for a blogger, to not share anything.
And congrats on the half marathon!
I guess I meant I want to share more for me! I wasn’t looking for sympathy so much as wanting people to understand me more. Thanks for reading!
I kind of figured that’s what was going on, but I’m sorry you’re going through it. Of course it’s different for everyone, but I’ve been through my own version of this fun and I’m so glad that you’ve found a good support system and are getting your Hannah mojo back. I think eventually (if not already) you’ll find that going through this will make you stronger, more independent, and more aware of what you want out of life.
I have the same struggle between being authentic and also maintaining privacy, so I totally respect you waiting to decide what and how you wanted to share. All the best to you, my friend! And nice job on the half!
I actually thought I had told you! I hope it does all those things. If not, I’m at least in a club with some really cool people 🙂
I figured that was the case, but didn’t want to pry and ask. Glad that things seem to be going okay for you now though!
They are, mostly! Thanks 🙂
I haven’t read a ton lately (I’ve slacked on blogs in general, esp. my own intermittent one!) but was surprised to read this! Obviously I don’t know the circumstances, but I’ve seen friends get through divorce (at the ripe age of 32 after a 15 yr relationship) and know you will be OK. I hope you find happiness in whatever form that is for you! Breakups really suck.
Thanks for the positive thoughts! I appreciate it 🙂
Hannah, this is super belated, because for some reason I am dumb and missed this post, but I wanted to say that I’m sorry that you’re going through this rough time. It must be hard to share such a private part of your life, and I know that it is a big decision on how much to share online and how much not to. I’m glad you have a support system… I hope you know that there are people who are thinking about you.
You aren’t dumb! But thanks for your comment–I really appreciate it 🙂
Did I tell you JoAnn & did the Go 5K ??? er…we up picked our shirts & went to Denny’s for breakfast.