I am probably lame but I don’t care

Some people blog to hold themselves accountable. I blog for the sheer embarrassment of it and to have a place to put all my thoughts and words down for eternity. IMG_8545

I was excited about the Hot Chocolate Race, and even when I got the first “extreme temperature advisory” email I wasn’t going to let it phase me. But then on Saturday I did some walking around outside in the cold, and then Saturday evening I was outside in cold temperatures that weren’t even as cold as they would supposedly be Sunday morning, and I just started freaking out. I remember running a few times in extreme (well, extreme to me, it’s all relative, I imagine) cold and one time in particular that I ran a 5k and honestly, the entire time it just really sucked. My legs were frozen, my feet were basically numb. And that was old Hannah. I used to be way more hard core.

So much to the disappointment of many people, and with the full support of others, I decided NOT to run the race this morning. It isn’t, as other races have been, because I didn’t want to run, because in fact, now that it has been light for many hours and the temperature is back up to a normal winter temperature, I will be running…but because the idea of getting up and being cold and running (at my current slow pace) for a long time…I just wanted to tear out my hair and cry. Plus the idea of dealing with the ice and snow getting to my car and the race…just everything about it made me say…not today.

If that makes me lame, I’m fine with it. At least fairly fine. You can totally call me lame in the comments.

I hope the race went well for those that ran, and I definitely applaud those of you who were far more hearty and determined than I am! I think for me, I’m just going to focus on my next plan, which is…the Go Half Marathon in April. I spectacularly failed last year at training for it, and this year is going to be very different. And I know it won’t be cold—it’ll probably be unbearably hot, but at least that doesn’t make me cry. (Okay, it might make me cry, but that’s just me.) I want to do the half again to give myself a new goal and a focus. I’ve been floundering for awhile, and it’s been a very tough year (for reasons I haven’t outright said on the blog especially, and I’m sorry for not being more open), but I know that I need to pull myself back together, and a spring half marathon will help. Blah blah blah. Really, I just want to dream of the days where I come here and complain how HOT it is outside and how awful that is. I should bookmark this blog post to read then that happens 😉

So that’s it. Me rationalizing my lame behavior. Eh. *shrugs*. It’s just a race. I did pick up my hoodie and travel mug, so I did get something for my entry fee at least!

How was your weekend? What did you plan to do and then bail on? Or even more impressive (perhaps)…what did you achieve?

6 thoughts on “I am probably lame but I don’t care”

  1. I thought yu were going to say you ran the race, slipped on ice and were “lame!” I was going to be sympathetic and tell you there would be nothing to do but sit and scratch the cat or sit and practice. Well, you can still scratch the cat and practice…

  2. My husband and I did Hot Chocolate one year and we got cold advisories, too! I think it was 19 degrees with the windchill, which is really cold for us in Dallas! We did the race, though we were running the 15k which meant we actually had time to warm up. But walking back to our car afterwards we were pretty miserable!
    Rebecca recently posted…Dallas Marathon: CanceledMy Profile

  3. NOOOOOOOOOOO!!! Two words: warming buses. Seriously. They had school buses you could sit in until the race started and afterward while you enjoyed the fondue. One of the most amazing race experiences ever. With both daughters. Sorry you missed it. Glad you’re running!

    Check out SK’s blog on PMETR.

    Hang in there.

  4. Awww, Hannah Violin! You’re NOT lame.
    In fact, I’m so totally jealous of you – I didn’t get any darn travel mug. I’m peeved.
    I ran the stupid 5K.Okay – I “ran” in massive air quotes – by myself because you and everyone else I knew of that was going to do this stupid 5K had enough sense to blow it off.
    At least you got a travel mug. I got some kind of totally lame “finisher’s mug” filled with magic shell. Then I passed out for 4.6 hours.
    The Go! St. Louis half-marathon is an excellent goal. It’s a tough course (for me, anyway, because I’m not a runner), because downtown is kinda hilly.
    The most important training tool anyone can have and use is the ability to listen to their body and mind – and act upon the information you get from those sources. Unlike me, you listened and did the right thing.
    So, girl, tear it up at the Ugly Sweater Run!!

  5. I saw the hoodies on facebook, and they looked awesome. I figure I can’t talk about the cool stuff I do if I’m not willing to bring up the stuff I’m not as thrilled about too. You don’t owe it to anybody to do a race you don’t want to do, and as far as life circumstances go, just because you choose to share your life on a blog doesn’t mean you have to share everything blow by blow. That’s the beauty of writing our own story. 🙂

    So whatever, you blew off this one. You’re getting your Hannah mojo back, and there’ll be lots more races.
    Kate recently posted…The one we’ll talk about for years: Pere Marquette 2013My Profile

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