The more you know

This week has both flown by and dragged.  It’s weird.  I had a late start to the week since I didn’t really get back to work until Tuesday.  What have I been doing all week?  (Other than obsessively stalking facebook for information on my friend’s accident…).

Yesterday I went to Blackberry Cafe with friends.  It was technically a business meeting, though I was meeting my friends Jen and Laura.  They had some things to talk to me about regarding Chamber Project St Louis, and I expect soon there will be an exciting announcement about some fantastic things they are doing.  But I’m not supposed to say anything yet.  Blackberry Cafe was good.  I had the falafel wrap, and instead of chips I had a banana (those were the options).  The man working (the owner?) was really friendly and nice.  He spent a little bit of time telling us how to tell that a $20 bill was counterfeit, so the lunch was both tasty and informative.  The more you know.

image

I’ve also been doing a fair bit of teaching at my new school.  I’m teaching three days a week now at the St Louis School of Music.  I’ve been meeting with many potential new students, and I have four more today.

I’ve also been practicing EVERY DAY since I got home from Chicago.  I’ve been focusing on standing up straight the whole time.  This might sound obvious, but it wasn’t for me.  It’s amazing how often I lean over or lean forward while playing and I have been working on standing up straight all the time.  Bonus:  I actually sound better when standing up straight.   Second bonus:  back/shoulders/arms feel okay for now.

I’ve been trying to get my runs in, but GOODNESS this weather is atrocious.  The excessive heat warning is going on for what, two weeks now?  and I’m completely over it.  All I can do is my best, go slow, end up feeling nauseous halfway through and suffer through the rest.  I just keep telling myself this will help out when the weather is cooler…right?  Today I’m meeting Jen for a run (shortly) and later have a workout with Mike.  Yes, it’s a double day…wheeeeeeee!  Weight-loss wise, I’m not back to where I was yet before my Chicago trip so I fear I’ve failed on the contest front.  I think it was worth it though, but I can’t help but feel disappointed.  Nonetheless I will continue the path on my own—I still want to lose some more weight and I will continue to work towards that goal.  My biggest weakness is eating out, and I’ve been doing that much more with Chris being out of town.  Once he returns it’ll be a little easier.  And I’m now only one pound up from last week, so I’m getting back there…but I really had hoped to be one pound down.  (Yes, I’m aware one pound isn’t a huge deal, sue me, I’m neurotic.)

I meet Mike this afternoon and he’ll ask what I’m doing this weekend.  The answer is, well, geez, I don’t actually have any plans.  And then I’ll feel BAD about it, like I’m 13 years old and getting made fun of again.  As if I have to have super awesome plans all the time.  I’m 33 years old!  Sometimes my joints ache.  Tuesday he suggested I take two or three weeks off from drinking and “see how great I feel.”  Then he asked if I ever use a steam room (he knows full well my gym doesn’t have one).  I hadn’t complained about feeling bad, in fact, I thought I felt fine.  Evidently I looked awful and run down, I guess…maybe I don’t pass for 26 all the time after all?  😉

funny-pictures-kitten-has-chair

(I’m aware it’s an unrelated picture.  It’s just cute.)

I’m just lucky to be able to not have plans…to be able to do whatever I want…to be awake and not in a medically induced coma…to have loads of friends all over the world who would rally around me just as much as people are rallying around Alicia (I think…then again she might be nicer…)…we sit there, on facebook, waiting for that little red notification box that means somebody has written something in the group…

I have to make sure that isn’t my weekend plan—sitting at the computer waiting!  I have a stack of magazines to catch up on, some Harry Potter books to reread, and a few other things to do (cleaning…cough, cough).  I also need to finish getting all my invitation stuff ready (for the wedding!) and figure out what the next step is with the rest of the planning.

So, I’m not going to ask what your plans for the weekend are.  I’m just going to ask you to stay cool, and keep thinking of my friends Alicia and Andrew. 

Distractions

I learned today that a few of my friends consider me to be a social media expert.  At least among them.  I do have a blog, facebook incessantly, and have recently gotten very into twitter (it was during my facebook hiatus that I truly became more twitter oriented…don’t judge.)  But I still consider myself a bit of a hack…however, it’s possible that I’ll be doing a bit more with the social media in the future for a new endeavour, and I welcome it.  I do LOVE social media, even though I struggle with it on occasion.  (Again, don’t judge.)

I’ve been working with my blog more recently too, though I am quite sad today that more people are reading my blog because they are finding it searching for information on Alicia and Andrew.  That’s the caring bridge link for information, if you are interested.  I try not to think about it too much even though I think about it all the time.  I just break down.  I think the fact that they are engaged really gets me.  I just hope they can pull through.  I am constantly amazed by the resiliency of the human body and by the capabilities of modern medicine.

Let’s distract ourselves here for a bit then.

image

That’s the “mascot” for the Mo’ Cowbell run.  You all (should) know that I love cows.

image

I didn’t mean *that* otter…  (that’s a fantastic website if you haven’t seen it)

Here’s a good article “The 8 truths about weddings (that no one ever tells you)”

a quote from the article “All your interactions will be weighed with a new gravity. When you do fight, it’s fighting as a COUPLE THAT WILL BE MARRIED. Those things that were mere annoyances are now albatrosses draping your shoulders for eternity.”  Luckily I haven’t done that to Chris yet!  (I have.  Repeatedly.)

pouting-cat

That’s all I can do tonight, friends.  Stay strong.

Old friends

A couple of weeks ago one of my old friends from Clinton facebooked me that she and her husband were coming to St Louis for vacation and asked if I would be around.  (By old friend, not that she is old—in fact I am older than she is.)  Indeed I was, and we decided to get together for lunch.  They were planning to go to the Budweiser Tour before lunch, and when I mentioned how close that was to my house, they insisted I join them.

I was a little apprehensive, as I hadn’t seen Brooke since…well…maybe the late 90’s.  We used to ride the school bus together and attended the same church.  But here she was married with a small child—would it be an incredibly awkward morning?  Plus, you know how those small-town South Carolina people are…

I shouldn’t have worried.  Within a few minutes of meeting up, we were chatting away like old friends.  Not only that, her husband, Tim, was great and her baby was adorable!

IMG_0645 IMG_0648 IMG_0650

ALMOST makes me want one of my own, but then I remember that they aren’t always so cute, they cost tons of money, and I would have to sacrifice so much sleep…

Anyway, I hadn’t been on the Budweiser Tour, so that was mildly interesting.  Tim brews his own beer so he was eager to steal insider secrets on how to make a ton of money. 

 IMG_0641 IMG_0643 IMG_0644

IMG_0647 IMG_0656 IMG_0659

My camera battery was running very low so I didn’t take that many pictures.  The tour took about an hour and went around a variety of buildings.  Honestly it wasn’t that exciting, but still a nice thing to do.  It WAS free.

IMG_0655

Also at the end you got free beer.

IMG_0662

Each person got two samples and they were pretty generous!  I enjoyed a blueberry flavored beer and a raspberry one best.  I did not sample Bud Light.

Afterwards we went to lunch.  The best part of a six month old baby is you don’t have to act differently around them yet, like you do for a toddler who is talking and can repeat anything you say!

All in all it was really great to see Brooke and meet Tim and her baby.  I guess I haven’t changed that much since high school after all—we’ve both matured and grown up but our personalities are at heart still the same.  Goes to show you that people just don’t really change, and that is both a good and a bad thing.

IMG_0646

Look at those fat little legs!!  At one point Brooke asked me if I wanted to hold him, but I did not.  Is there something wrong with me that I just don’t have that urge?  I did however want to make funny faces at him and poke him a lot.

Today:  lunch meeting, teaching, and run.  I need to stay busy.  It’s already 84 outside so I can already guarantee my run is going to suck.  Wait, that’s a really negative attitude.  Hmm…let me rephrase.  It’s already 84 outside so I can already guarantee my skin will really glow the whole time I am running.  Or should I go to the gym?  Either way I need to get away from the computer. 

For those of you interested in Alicia and Andrew, here’s a link to a website started to keep people up to date.

Community

Today was a hard day for me.  On the one hand, I met up with an old friend for the first time in over a decade, and met her husband and 6 month old.  I’ll talk about that more in the future.

On the other hand, I spent a lot of time worried about my friend who was in the car accident.  It was a hard day for everybody who knew her.

My college was a small one, so we all knew each other.  She wasn’t one of my best friends, but I knew and liked her, and I ran into her again in March of this year and we had dinner together and talked quite a bit, about her current life, her fiancé, her wedding, and all other kinds of things.  I’m just reeling from the shock, though I know others are more personally affected and have more right to be upset.  My heart goes out to them as well.

If you want to see what happened, here’s a link to a news report about the accident.  I had a really hard time dealing with driving on the interstate today.  I kept thinking about that picture and fighting with tears.

I am completely blown away by people’s responses on facebook today.  However, sitting here obsessively stalking facebook for news is probably not helpful.

I am struck by the fact that I do indeed belong to a community of wonderful and thoughtful people who live all over the world.  I hate the circumstances that bring this realization.  Today, I am so glad I went to a small conservatory.  Today, I am happy to be still paying my student loans.  I am so proud of my friends.

I think we are all shocked.  This sort of thing could happen to anyone at any time.  We are all lucky every day when nothing horrible happens.  But we humans are so resilient that we continue to be shocked when awful things happen.

I just hope that the human body can be as resilient.

sad-cat

Please pray for Alicia Doudna and Andrew Kratzat and their friends and family. 

Perspective

I got home from the Harry Potter movie last night and was full of emotions. (for the record, yes, good movie, NOT great movie.  And the feel-good ending bothers me in the book as well.)  I did what I usually do, sign onto facebook (I’m so addicted) and learned that one of my friends had been in a horrible car accident.

I won’t go into too many details here, because most of you won’t know her and it’s not my place anyway.  We went to school (CIM) together, and she is a fellow violinist and Suzuki teacher.  I had dinner with her in March, and we are both engaged to be married.  She was in the car with her fiancé.  Right now it is just a matter of waiting to see what happens, and they are both in intensive care. 

How many miles do we all spend on the road each day/week/month?  I was trying to think of how many miles I have driven in my life—probably about 250,000 if recall the mileage on the various vehicles I’ve owned.  And that doesn’t count the miles I’ve ridden with other people.  We are all lucky every day when nothing horrible happens. 

I am often haunted by a vision from my childhood while on a car trip to visit family for the holidays.  We were stuck in bad traffic due to an accident, and when we finally passed the accident scene (vehicles at this point, not people) there were Christmas presents scattered about in the median.  I don’t know how much of that memory is true and how much has been distorted, but I know how I felt.

One of my friends tweeted this last night– "Please send prayers, happy thoughts to my friend and her fiance who were in a serious crash today. Then hug your loved ones."

It feels so helpless to be sitting on the sidelines wondering what will happen.  Life is short.  We all spend so much time worrying about piddling details.  In the end none of that matters. 

All we can do is be the best person we can be for the time we are given, right?  I know I try to do that, but I don’t do a very good job of it.  Then again, I don’t know.  Maybe I’m a far better friend than I give myself credit for.

I open at the close

Tonight I am finally going to see the Harry Potter movie!  I must admit I am looking forward to it, but not as much as many have.  Most of the movies have disappointed me.

I started reading Harry Potter back shortly after the third one (Prisoner of Azkaban) came out.  I can’t recall if this was over Christmas break or summer vacation.  I was visiting home and my mother encouraged me to read the books while I was there.  Being ornery, I naturally resisted.  But she kept talking them up and I was visiting for several days.  I started the first one one night when I was bored, and I was HOOKED.  I read all three books in the next 24 hours, and then (if memory serves) I reread them all before I went back to wherever I was living (Cleveland, I believe).

I had to wait almost awhile for the next book though…I pre-ordered it to arrive when I was in Breckenridge, Colorado, the next summer, as a member of the National Repertory Orchestra.  It arrived ONE day before the actual release date.  Go figure.  I was preparing to solo with the orchestra (Saint-Saens Havanaise) but the piece was short and naturally I was having mild playing problems so I took it easy on practicing and read Goblet of Fire instead.  AWESOME.  It took quite the dark turn, didn’t it?

Then it was a long wait for Order of Phoenix.  According to Wikipedia THREE years passed.  It was an awful three years.  By then (2003) I was living in Charlotte, NC, playing with the Charlotte Symphony.  I had had such good luck pre-ordering Goblet that I did the same.  It arrived at my doorstep on the day of the release and I naturally shut myself in to read it.  Intense.  And long.  If you can’t tell, I am an incredibly fast reader, so I really appreciate a long book.

By the time Half Blood Prince came out I was back in Cleveland.  Got that one mail order as well, but I recall I had to interrupt my reading to go play a wedding gig.  I was up late into the night finishing it.  When Snape killed Dumbledore, I was sobbing like a baby.

Then the end:  Deathly Hallows.  I was in the Bahamas when it came out so upon our return to Florida (we were on a cruise) the first stop was a bookstore.  I spent the rest of the day reading it, and then as usual, rereading it.  It was a fantastic ending to the story.  And in my mind, that’s when the story ended.  Though, it never really ends, because you can always start it again from the beginning (and I do, at least once or twice a year.)

So that brings us to the movies.  Since I know and love the books as much as I do, the movies have always disappointed me.  I enjoy them (for the most part, except HBP has some parts that really bug me, and so does OoP) but I don’t love them.  So while I’m looking forward to tonight’s movie (and I am, I truly am) and while I will likely cry every time Dobby gets killed, I will never feel them with the same voracity that I do the HP books.  And it’s not that I don’t appreciate movies, because the Lord of the Rings is just amazing, and I prefer the movies to the books.

I know a lot of {younger} people that grew up with Harry Potter.  I feel like I grew up with Harry Potter as well, except it was my early adult years.  That’s what I find most interesting.  Those years at the end of school and at the beginning of my career and my adult life…that’s when I had Harry Potter.  Like many other musicians, I haven’t exactly followed a direct path anywhere, and I still don’t know where I’m going.  Sometimes it feels like no matter what we do, we still just have to wait for something to happen to us. 

Kind of like you are a young boy, living under a cupboard.  Okay, no.  No that’s not the same at all.  I’m sorry for even attempting to make that analogy.

But still…I remember being young so well.  I still feel young a lot of the time.  In fact, maybe I didn’t grow up with Harry Potter.  Sometimes I feel like I am still waiting to grow up.

Do you feel that way too?  Like you are still waiting to grow up and any evidence to the contrary is simply you faking it?  Do you also wonder why Harry and Ron can’t ever learn anything without Hermione’s help?  Is that just a guy thing?

What’s most amazing to me is that Chris and I have been dating the entire time I’ve been reading Harry Potter.  And that until we got engaged people found that to be a bad thing.  Why is it so horrible to have dating somebody since 1999?  Doesn’t that show a certain level of fortitude and commitment?

Last word for today:  A friend messaged me a link to a blog that I wanted to share with you about balance and exercising.  She suggested that I was too hard on myself sometimes.  (I know.)  That’d be a whole ‘nother blog entry, about my lack of balance and how I seemingly cannot pursue anything half heartedly.  BUT I must publish so I can practice another hour before teaching while standing up straight with my chest up (when in doubt, chest up) and I will tell you all more about posture another day.

P.S.  If you haven’t done so, introduce yourself in my last entry!  I’m so pleased to hear from some of you and I’ll be checking out your blogs (if you have them, it’s not at all required) later tonight or tomorrow.

P.P.S.  I feel a little manic today!  Sorry for all the blog posts, I just have so much to share.

overconfidence

thoughts about violin, teaching, running, life.