The Shaved Duck and Helicopter Parenting

I was teaching tonight and wasn’t going to get home until 9:30 or 10:00.  I was (not really) looking forward to a salad/sandwich dinner (though we recently got a panini press and that has been QUITE delightful.)  I texted Chris and asked where he was going for dinner with our friend Kyle—he had a little chamber music rehearsal and they were going out for dinner afterwards.  He said, The Shaved Duck.  Which is somewhere we had been talking about going…so I jokingly said, well, bring something home for me! 

He did!  Pulled beef brisket sandwich with a side of green bean casserole.  I fell in love all over again 😉

It was delicious, and I can’t wait to go eat at the restaurant next time.  Takeout is tasty, but most food tastes better in the restaurant, I think.


I listened to an interesting show on the way home (NPR) about "French" parenting versus "American" parenting.  I’m always interested in that sort of thing.  I think it’s a bit ridiculous to characterize different countries in that way (generalize much?) but I do get to observe a lot of parenting styles in my teaching.  My biggest pet peeve is when parents let their children quit violin lessons after a few bad lessons or during a busy month.  It’s one thing if the child has been dreading violin lessons for months or most of a semester (or years) but some of my best students have gone through short periods of time where they hate me, their parents, the violin, you name it.  Part of parenting (in my opinion, and don’t shoot me, I’m not a parent, but I do deal with children a lot!) is teaching them NOT to give up just when something gets difficult.  If you quit your violin lessons when a piece becomes challenging, or when you are having a bit less fun (again, usually due to a difficulty or frustration) how will you deal with anything else in life? 

See, there I go, on my soapbox.  If I have a child of my own I’m sure things will be different (just like they are now that I’m married…oh wait…) but you can guarantee I won’t be letting my child quit something just because it got challenging.  And your child isn’t your best friend…and your mom isn’t your best friend either, she’s your mom.  if your mom is your best friend, you really need work on some issues!  Okay, the show wasn’t even about that, but I just started thinking about some people I know and other people and one thing led to another in my mind…ultimately I start thinking about Gilmore Girls and how often Lorelei and Rory spoke and how ridiculous their eating habits are for how skinny they are…but suffice it to say I firmly believe a parent’s job is to raise the child to be their own person as an adult so that they can make decisions on their own and function in society. 

*delicately steps off soapbox*

*dusts self off*

Anybody still reading?  I guess the program touched a nerve!  I’m sure you’re all just happy to be reading a non-wedding recap blog post, right?  Even though it’s an angry tirade against helicopter parenting?

Did you guys see my new blog heading?  I wanted to include a more recent photo of me so I changed it up a bit.

Picnik collage

I’ll include a link to an article on NPR a friend just posted on facebook about helicopter parenting…

Thoughts?  Am I old-fashioned to think it is ridiculous for an adult to be "relying on their parents" for advice?  Am I the last of our society to be told, growing up, that "children should be seen and not heard?"  Is there a connection? 

4 thoughts on “The Shaved Duck and Helicopter Parenting”

  1. Totally agree with you on not letting children quit so easily. I’ve had a few families who deferred to their children to decide where to go with what instruments they wanted to learn, how long they kept at it, and then quit whenever the kids complained they didn’t like practicing anymore. It’s frustrating because you have to keep your parental opinions to yourself. Seems like every parent thinks they’re doing the right thing, so all we can do is just silently watch.

    1. And to be clear, I’m not even referring to any current students (obviously they haven’t quit 😉 ) but listening to the radio show just set me off. I just think of music lessons as important as going to school and you obviously don’t let your child quit school because they don’t like it…or maybe some do.

  2. My husband and I talk a lot about our future kids’ activities, and why they would be allowed to quit things. There are so many a-hole kids out there these days that get whatever they want. Ug.

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