Summer seems to be baby season.  My friend Jen just had a baby, and he is ADORABLE.

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Okay, well I don’t have any other baby examples at this time.  But the other thing I was going to mention is that people keep asking ME about babies.  Such as, when are we planning to have them, and (my favorite) how many. 

In the past month, at least three GOOD friends (not strangers, which is actually more common) have brought up that topic.  I suppose with my impending nuptials, people can no longer ask "when are you getting married?" so they have moved onto the next logical step.  Babies!  WHEEEEEE!

Let me answer the questions right here and right now.  Firstly, I have always wanted to have children someday.  I thought two or three would be really nice, since I enjoyed being one of three siblings.  (Looks around awkwardly…).  Yes…I am actually one of four siblings.  This is where the trouble comes in.  My youngest sister was born when I was 13.  She is a delightful human being, and I am extremely proud of all she has accomplished so far in her life and know she will go far and hopefully be able to support us all in our old age.  But I saw firsthand the incredible sacrifice and responsibility of raising a child, much more so than if I had been younger and perhaps less impressionable.  So now my answer is that maybe I will have one child.  Someday.  You know, when I grow up.  And can afford to hire more help.

I don’t know how people do it.  I heard on the Today Show yesterday that raising a child costs approximately a quarter of a million dollars.  I am not sure if that includes college, probably not.  Plus the time, the lost sleep, never again being able to truly let go and do something for yourself.  Then, people tell me I look 25…I’d completely lose my youth.  I’ve worked SO hard to get in shape.  I’d probably lose all that.  Yes, those are incredibly selfish reasons (sorry, Mom) and the fact remains that I might actually be a good parent and bring an exemplary child into the world, one who would be a true asset to society, perhaps even cure cancer.  But more likely they would be somewhat neurotic, lazy, and decide to become a musician.  And plenty of people bring children into the world that SHOULDN’T, and for them I believe having children is selfish because they are simply burdening society.  Selfish if you do, selfish if you don’t.

So that’s the answer.  Perhaps someday we will have a child.  And I know it isn’t so easy as that, that often when people decide to have a child they can’t.  Yet they still get asked those questions—when are you having children? 

It boils down to this.  Just as it was annoying to be constantly asked, "when are you and Chris getting married", I anticipate it will be equally annoying to be constantly asked when we are having children.   Obviously it takes us a long time to do anything, so we’ll probably get around to it in our 80’s.  Ultimately…it’s none of your business.


And don’t get me wrong.  I love children.  I teach them to play the violin every day.  Then I send them on their way!  *evil laughter* 

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3 thoughts on “Babies”

  1. Haha. I feel the same way about kids, and I have a feeling that it’ll be a while–a long while–until we seriously consider children. When all my friends seemed to have kids around the same time, I felt a little left out. Now, I see how much work is involved (and how little sleep is gotten–not to mention, not really being able to do ANYTHING you normally used to do before kids came along) and I don’t feel like I’m missing out anymore.

    We’re not on anyone else’s time line, just our own!

  2. Speaking from the parent side of things, I have to say that yes, parenting means a lot of sacrifices, and yes, it is amazingly hard. It’s also amazingly good in many ways. But you’re right–it’s nobody else’s business, and I’ve never understood why some people like to ask when there will be kids (or grandkids), or when the wedding’s going to be. That’s about as personal as you can get!

  3. hahaha! You know, Mike and I have been married 10 years and people have (for the most part) stopped asking this question. Most of the time, I tell people I’d like to adopt. Cuz I would. It’s just so complicated. It breaks my heart when people have kids that shouldn’t. And I totally understand your viewpoint on the concern about your own body. I’m right on board with that one!! Maybe it’s selfish, but I think it’s only selfish to have kids for the wrong reasons. 🙂

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