There was a time in my life when so many of my friends were getting married, and it seems like every year there were a half dozen wedding invites, some I went to, some I couldn’t due to work or finances. And then it all sort of slowed down and stopped, and the last wedding Louie and I went to was for the daugher of his boss, so we felt like, hmm, we’ve moved into the next generation, now we will go our friend’s kids’ weddings.

Which is why this weekend is so excited, it’s the wedding of two of my friends and I’m so pumped for them! By the way, I want to note that wordpress tells me every time I write that my sentences are long and convuluted, that you people won’t be able to read or understand them. And then I hit “ignore for this post” because I haven’t yet been bothered enough to figure out how to make them stop telling me this ever. We were reading some things yesterday that Lincoln wrote and I’m certain that his speeches and letters would also be marked as too long and convulated, and yet he was considered a great orator.

Not that I see myself as Lincoln, by any means! But that I am going to write how I think, and how I want, and if I were writing for page views and seo I would be way more popular BUT I don’t do this for the money. I mean, good gosh, I’m a musician, do I do anything for the money?

Anyway, so my good friend Stephanie is getting married, and last night there was a little girls only thing, and it was a lot of fun. I met some new people and chatted with people I already knew, and I had a lovely time. One woman asked me if I loved teaching violin, and I said, no, and she looked disappointed, and asked what I would do instead. The answer is: nothing. I am doing the jobs I want: my other thing I would do is NOT work, and instead read and walk and hike, and travel, perhaps 4 trips a year? And putter and write, and get better at crafting and all of that stuff.

I do enjoy teaching, sometimes, and other times I find it invigorating and challenging, and sometimes my students frustrate and annoy me, and other times they make me laugh so hard. But love is a strong word for me. I think many teachers do love teaching, and I don’t. I don’t love playing the violin for weddings either, but it’s something I do because it’s fine, and easy enough, and I know that people enjoy hearing it, and they pay me. I do enjoy some of my concerts, quite a lot, and I enjoy playing the violin, but not enough to practice as regularly as I should or could.

Maybe I’m burnt out, but maybe it’s ALSO ok if even in a creative field, or working with children, we don’t LOVE It, and we just think its good enough, or fun enough, or even that we don’t hate it, so it’s fine. Maybe it’s okay! Life isn’t always amazing or fun, and not every moment of every day can be spent doing something you absolute adore, can it? Am I delusional? Is it okay just to like your career and not to love it? To feel that you do it well?

What a night! It was a long day. I taught a few students and then headed to a rehearsal for Undertale: The Determination Symphony, which was a gig where we had a small orchestra that played a concert of music from the video game, Undertale, to a sold-out audience at the Factory (a music venue in Chesterfield, a suburb of St Louis.) It was a lot of fun, but a lot of playing. After the rehearsal, a few of us braved the wind and rain to walk to a nearby Mexican restaurant, and then we played the concert. It was a lot of fun, and went well.

They played a sort of movie based on the video game that went along with the music, and that’s me in the concertmaster spot. I had a few solos, nothing stressful thankfully!

What WAS stressful was waiting on the election results. Oh my goodness. Texas. South Carolina. Kansas. Michigan. So much better than I could have dreamed! Let’s hope for change: fighting corruption, working to help working families afford housing, groceries, and medical care. And fighting against bigotry, racism, sexism, etc. It was a decisive, generational victory, and shows that our country has a lot of work to do. But it also shows that this country is full of good people, and that campaigns running on racism and anti-trans bigotry are NOT the way to go, for many Americans.

We also defeated Amendment 3 here in Missouri, which was an anti-abortion amendment that supporters were using to hawk really nasty lies about trans people and children, and we DEFEATED it, defeated the abortion ban again, and showed as well (I think) that many people support trans people.

It’s hard to feel too celebratory, we remember how we were so thrilled to defeat Trump in 2020 and then it felt like 4 years later things got worse, but I think that many in power ALSO remember this and this feels different. Plus it was such a decisive, overwhelming victory, showing how the majority of voters are angry and fed up with what is going on, and we have to stop it. I know groups like Indivisible will keep working hard to make sure the democrats do what they can, and will keep working hard to let the democrats in power know what the people want. Let’s celebrate and let’s keep our politicians on speed dial.

Yesterday I took Miles, my little black cat, in to the vet for his annual checkup and rabies vaccine. He does not like going in his carrier, so that was the first difficulty (poor buddy!) and then he spent the entire drive to the vet crying. But once we got there, he got very quiet and hid in the back of the carrier–his eyes were very big and he was terrified.

The vet people are very nice, and they gave him time in the room to get used to it and to come out on his own (first we tried cajoling him but he wasn’t having it) and then finally the vet came in. I have been going to the same place for a few years but every visit we see a different vet. This one was very nice and very cat friendly, and we talked about Miles’ weight (I worry he is TOO skinny) and also about Muriel and how she detests vets and growls from her cage and whether we should bring her in anyway.

The main thing that I thought was interesting is that she (the vet) said I should feed the cats some wet food in addition to their dry. I feel like I get a lot of conflicting information about this, whether they need wet, dry, a mix, etc. We’ve been doing only dry for these cats in the hopes of keeping their weight down (I guess I blamed my old cat’s weight on loving their wet food too much!) but apparently dry food is higher in carbs and that’s not good for them. Ultimately we ended up drawing some blood from Miles to make sure he is doing okay and to see if he has any kidney issues, results tba.

At the end, he was wrapped in a blanket sprayed with “pheremones”, being petted and eating some chicken go-gurt type treat while getting his blood drawn. He thought it was all pretty disturbing and perhaps the worst day ever, but later I had to go get my blood drawn for a vaccine study I’m participating in and nobody wrapped me in a blanket, rubbed my head during it, or fed me treats, so he honestly does have it pretty good!

He was quieter on the way home and then ran out of his cage up the stairs to hide for awhile. Muriel was excited he was back home and seemingly a little jealous, haha. She loves the carrier and oddly enjoys new places but NOT the vet.

Not a super happy camper, poor little guy.

What a weird title, right? Today is Monday, and I have to take Miles to the vet for some shots and a checkup. Technically we are supposed to take Muriel to the vet, but I’m not sure if that will happen. Muriel hates vets, and threatens them. She growls from her cage, which is not super normal behavior for her–yes she may hiss at children and me if I want her chair, but growling is certainly a step up. So it’s just Miles for today, and maybe forever.

After that I have another appointment and then lots of teaching. Monday is teaching day! Tomorrow I have a few students early and then a rehearsal and a concert (the music of Undertale at the Factory) which will certainly help keep my mind off any Election Day horrors, though we are almost all numb to bad (and good) news these days, so who even knows. But of course still hoping for good news.

We finished watching The Diplomat Season Four last night. It was a good season, very enjoyable. I’m eager to see what happens next. What should I watch next? We watched East of Eden before this.

I’m sitting here blogging on my couch, listening to the trash trucks come down the street. Where I live, Monday is the day they pick up trash and recycling carts. We have some chores divided at our house, and Louie is in charge of emptying trash and recycling and taking the carts to the curb on Sunday nights. We have a slightly more traditional division of labor, I guess: I do laundry and grocery shopping, he mows the lawn and most other yard work and does the trash. Other stuff we share and we also have a house cleaner every two weeks. I wonder what other people do?

This is it, the day in the life of a working freelance musician and teacher, isn’t it fascinating?

I decided on the spur of the moment this morning, while enjoying my breakfast (great grains with blueberries) to join this month’s NaBloPoMo, which means I should post every day in November. I’ve been a little bit lax in my posting, somewhat due to being extremely busy, but also due to just being, not posting, not writing. And it’s a little sad, so I thought, hey, this is a good jump start. Some bloggers are having all kinds of plans, but I plan enough in my regular life, I don’t want to have to plan my blog. Plus, spontaneity in my writing is sort of my thing, you know?

October went by in a FLASH. I know we all say that, every month, but I swear, October was the fastest month. Where did it go? For starters, I worked every single day, with the possible exception of October 31 when I only went to a concert a student was playing on, which wasn’t really work, but wasn’t technically NOT work, you know? So that certainly helped the time go by, constantly working, running around, squeezing in errands (many doctor’s appointments this time of year, the doctor, the dentist, the eye doctor, etc.), grocery shopping, cleaning (haha I don’t really do that), and still trying to find time to socialize.

I did my two weekly gym visits all but one week, and got in a few extra as well. I can feel myself getting stronger, which is super fun. I feel like I belong at the gym, and I’m gaining my confidence back.

I played two weeks of a Broadway show at the Fox Theater, which is our big theater where all the visiting shows come. It was super fun, though absolutely exhausting–Death Becomes Her. Not me, the show.

My friend April visited for a few days during one of my busy stretches. I did a lot of weddings, church services, etc, and then makeup lessons from the shows…it’s been a lot. It’s one of those months where I question my decision making and start to think about how burn out I might be. Especially like today when Louie texted to tell me he noticed I’d left the deep freezer cracked open and the whole thing was very frosty (I’m pretty sure I last opened it on Wednesday, gah!), or perhaps like last weekend when I thought I saw a friend named Susan coming out of Death Becomes Her, but for the life of me, at the time I couldn’t think of her name to SAVE MY LIFE. I mean, we have hung out quite a few times. How embarrassing on both counts.

I should blame perimenopause, it’s all the rage, but I want to blame not getting quite enough sleep and trying to multitask, which we can’t really do. Or working too much. Or maybe just perimenopause.

So that’s my stream of consciousness for NOW. If I am good to my word, you can look forward to a blog post every day in November, perhaps like this one, or perhaps better or worse, longer or shorter. I’m still thinking I will write/recap my Alaska trip, and I have so many wonderful thoughts and pictures to share, but that requires a certain amount of time to sit down and create, and lately I’ve just been flopping down and reading when I have that time. But this month should be better, haha, how many times have I said that? (Please don’t answer, I would feel horrible.)

I swear that picture isn’t AI.