A big part of what I write about here is how overworked I am…I feel like everything is on or off. For instance, I took two trips over the summer for approximately three weeks each. But then in the fall I’m so busy and overworked. I don’t know if it evens out, but it’s the way things are, no matter if it is a little bit self-inflicted, but it’s self-inflicted for good ways.

This is to say: this week has been busier than I thought. On the bright side, I finished up teaching at 6:30 last night, we did open enrollment until around 7 and then made a lovely pasta dinner (lemon pasta from trader joe’s with lemon pesto sauce from trader joe’s, adding kale sauteed in garlic and a can of cannelini beans, so tasty!) and watched a few episodes of “Murder in a Small Town.” But tonight I teach until 8:45 pm which I am not super excited about, and tomorrow night until 9 pm. I have a few extra appointments this week that is making today busier: one is for fun (treating myself to a facial), one is annoying (driving 30 minutes round trip to pick up music for a gig) and then doing a grocery pickup. I have discovered that it’s so worth saving the time to just do grocery pickups instead of shopping in person.

(Again I get the warning from wordpress that long sentences are harder to read, and that shorter sentences are “easier to read and scan.” Well, not everything needs to be easy, wordpress! Like, if you can’t read a long sentence, then that is a YOU problem, not a me problem. I’m writing for me. I’m also not just producing “content” for seo and the LLMs, if I were, I would be in big trouble. Maybe we ARE in big trouble.)

This “blogging everyday” thing has actually been really fun. I don’t wait to blog until I have something interesting to say, I just start blogging, who cares if it’s interesting, right? I mean, perhaps it IS the mundane that matters.

Let me tell you what I’ve been doing at the gym, because I’ve been having fun. Yesterday I went, for upper body day. I have a list of exercises I keep on my phone and I track the amount of weight for each one, and then I select that day’s workout based on 1) what I want to do and 2) what machines are open. So yesterday I walked there (15 minutes warmup) and then did the lat pull-down machine, cable row, bench press (this one is so fun, I feel powerful as I bench press the bar with 5 pounds on each side, haha!), shoulder press with free weights, and bicep curls with free weights. I considered doing a triceps exercise, but the weights I needed were being used and the triceps machine was also busy, so I called it there, and walked 15 minutes on the treadmill with a 9-12 percent incline. Then I walked back home (15 minutes) and that was it! I usually do 3 sets of each weight workout with 1-2 minutes rest in between (I keep an eye on my watch).

The next time I go I’ll do legs: I usually do a combination of squats with the rack, romanian deadlifts, either using the rack or barbells, leg press, lunges, and the leg curl and leg extension machines. Again, this sometimes depends on what machines are free, but I’ve never had trouble getting a squat rack when I go, so I can count on that. I also often do some amount of time on the stairmaster at the end, though usually just 5 minutes because it’s hard and so boring.

So there you have it! Honestly, some part of my busy-ness is things like the gym, but that’s allowed right, I’m not supposed to work all the time? And then fun things like concerts, and writing blogs, that doesn’t take zero time. (This is an expression I will use, that doesn’t take zero time, meaning, even if it is something easy, like putting on your shoes, it doesn’t take zero time, and you need to allow time for it.)

A pet peeve of mine is waiting in lines that are not actually lines and are just arbitrary. Maybe this is me being rude and impatient, but for instance: at the wedding there was a long line for the cocktail hour snacks and drinks, but instead of people being in one line for drinks which takes a certain amount of time, and one line for snacks, which takes a different amount of time and can accommodate more people at once, we all waited in one line, and then people who didn’t want drinks DIDN’T try to accommodate that in any way by moving forward a little but instead just stayed in the way. But apparently of my small friend group, nobody but me was bothered by this.

Last night we attended a well sold concert at the school building where I teach several days a week (so it’s my home turf, as I see it). We were going to go in the front door, which is a double doors that goes to the lobby and then you can go left to get to the auditorium, or right to the box office and bathrooms. There was a line from the left side getting in the door, but we were from the right. Louie wanted us to walk all the way to the end of the line on the left, and I thought we could just merge in, since 1) nobody had even bothered to open more than one door, which I thought was stupid but I also thought maybe I would do that, since I felt like this was my home turf and I know how doors work and also 2) the line was simply for getting in the door and was there a real reason we should be walking to the opposite side of the building to wait in line rather than merge? And also, why should I wait in a line that I don’t even know what it is for? What if everybody on the left was trying to pick up tickets and I was ready to go straight in? Or what if I desperately needed to use the bathroom?

This really annoyed me, especially when I heard a student tell somebody, the line is over there, and I’m like, this isn’t a real line! So we walked around the building to a card access only door and then got to the lobby a different way. I asked Louie did he think we should then go outside and join the line, which I could see for sure was then breaking off into various places, some of which was also caused by random people just standing around.

I’m blogging about it here because I want to know what you think, was I being impatient (well yes) and rude (I don’t think so, I think the person insisting on the line was being rude)? I do want honest takes. Louie said it was like everybody was in one line for a counter and then a new one opens up, it should be from the original line, not a random newcomer, but I would argue that is completely different!

Another comparison to me is where there is a buffet and everybody is only going down one side but you notice there are two sides when you get there so you start the line down the opposite side, which has utensils and everything. Or is that different?

Different cultures of course have different rules on lines. I actually quite enjoyed being in Morocco where lines aren’t a thing and instead you have to use your self to just get there. It makes people stay involved in what they are doing and not be passive: I also hate when people are supposedly in line but so busy talking to their friends they don’t notice the line moving up.

To be fair, I have probably been guilty of all the line behavior I purport to dislike, but in the case of last night, I firmly believe I am correct, with a little bit of “this is where I work and I should get some perks anyway because what if I am actually entering the building to work instead of see the concert, and I don’t get paid that much either.”

Thoughts? Please engage in the comments, I am so enjoying the results of NaBloPoMo.

It’s not as if my entire blog isn’t musings, mostly, but you know. Alliteration is cool.

It was nice to hear how many readers also suffer from the problem of being behind on practically everything. I often feel like I am the only one in my family who can’t get things done properly, and spends too much time daydreaming and reading, but truthfully, it’s probably pretty normal.

I did accomplish the following: folding laundry, running the dishwasher. And I fully unpacked from my night away, which took very little time but was very satisfying.

Granted, that leaves me with a pretty long to-do list, but also, how much of it is important? Or that is, how much of it is important to do this week? I ordered new cat food to try for the cats, some wet food. I haven’t taken it out of the box yet because I’m’ not ready to start dealing with it. The same with a new duffel bag I ordered (way in advance) for a trip in the summer, though I’ll probably use it earlier too. And then there are some clothes I ordered from Old Navy that I need to try on. I’ll have to unload the dishwasher as well. Louie took care of the trash and some yard work last night, lest you think all the house stuff falls on me. If I’m lucky he might empty the dishwasher too, we sort of take turns and whoever is in the kitchen might just empty it.

Work wise, the most pressing thing this week is the student recital on Saturday. I need to make a program order and get some music to the pianist. That needs to be done today or tomorrow, probably.

This is a very boring post, I think? Let’s see, what would be more interesting. Meal planning? I’ve got nothing right now, but that’s also something I should do before getting groceries this week. I’m so tired of cooking and meal planning, honestly. Maybe we will do some grain bowls with veggies and chickpeas. I’ve got some kale in the fridge that I planned with pasta and lemon pesto sauce (a jar from trader joe’s) so that should be Tuesday. Tonight there’s no time to cook or eat, I finish teaching and then straight to a concert, so we will do something afterwards, maybe some ramen from the local international grocery store, and maybe add some eggs to it? In Japan, we had ramen where there was a bowl of raw eggs that you could add to your ramen as you saw fit, as many as you desired.

Maybe this is all boring. Or perhaps it’s just mundane. The mundane day to day that we all deal with. I feel like my brain is just on Monday mode, thinking of the week ahead and how to make it work. So I’ll leave you there today.

I’ve had a very fun but busy weekend. I think the thing that struck me just NOW was that I am not dreading the week. How amazing is that? Maybe it’s not. I mean, I don’t often dread the week, but I had a fun weekend (for once, not only working, hardly any work at all!) and now I’m looking forward to a less busy than normal week, followed by another weekend with some fun stuff.

My friend’s wedding was fabulous, super great. We stayed overnight at the hotel where it took place (about an hour away) and then slept in, got breakfast there, and then did a 6 mile hike at the nearby State Park (Pere Marquette). The weather was phenomenal, truly the best weekend weather we have had here in awhile.

We ate lunch at Old Bakery Beer Company and then came home and I went to see Emily St. John Mandel talk at a nearby library. I can’t remember going to an author talk before, but I really enjoyed it: she was interesting and a really cool person. If you aren’t familiar with her, her most famous book is Station Eleven.

One thing she said that stuck out to me was that nothing is permanent, and that that gives her hope. And that yes, the impermanence of life can be devastating, but also, it’s great that bad things don’t last forever. I have thought of this before as well, that either the bad things will eventually end, or, you know, we will end. I really loved Station Eleven as a very hopeful book: even with all the bad things that happened, people banded together and community and art and music were important. She said that when she talked with a reporter who had spent so much time reporting on wars across the world, that was something that he noticed in real life: people band together, they don’t just end up alone fighting, they form communities to try to survive.

She was also really sweet and kind, and talked about various anti-racism things, like not saying the race of her characters unless it was really important, partly with the thought that, hey, if it doesn’t need to be a white person perhaps a non-white person could be cast in that role if this book becomes a movie or TV show. She mentioned how so often white writers only mention race when it’s a non-white person, because white is the default for them, so she tries NOT to do that. Hey, isn’t it great, I can write about anti-racism again. She also talked about writing while being a mother (thanks to her nanny and babysitters, though perhaps one person in the audience thought that men don’t need to say that, but hey, women are still asked about and men aren’t, so let’s give credit where credit is due, while also asking men how they got to write so much with a new baby), and she talked about various connecting characters throughout her different books.

I have to admit that I haven’t reread any of her books, and I’ve only read Station Eleven, The Glass Hotel, and Sea of Tranquility. I got a signed copy of her most recent book, Exit Music, and I’ll probably read that next, but I should go back and read her earlier works, and then maybe reread the rest, to get a better sense of the overall “Mandel-verse” as one question asker at the event called it.

It’s been a busy time, as I’ve mentioned before, and as a result, a lot of things are piling up. Literally. For instance, I ordered some new cat food to try, some wet food and dry food for sensitive stomaches, but we are gone overnight tonight, so it’s not the time to start, but also I didn’t open the package yet. That package is piling up next to a few other things. I have a donation pile of clothes to give away piling up, I have some things I might pack for the overnight piling up.

So am I referring to just things piling up? Maybe! But no, not really. A week from today is my studio recital and that’s piling up: I need to make a list of students who are playing and scan their music for the pianist. This is a task I often get done ahead of time, more than one week in advance, so waiting is either a sign that I’m completely underwater OR that I’m better at managing my stress? There are other things too, many things, that I need to do, little things for students, that is. New music assignments, reminders for this or that, figuring out what’s next. This is piling up in my brain, and I need to get it out on paper or a google document.

But for now, I’m doing this post (I am sitting down each day to blog in real time and it’s been quite therapeutic) and then teaching exactly ONE makeup lesson, and then doing my hair and packing for the wedding and overnight stay, and then we are off. It’ll be a lot of fun!

There was a time in my life when so many of my friends were getting married, and it seems like every year there were a half dozen wedding invites, some I went to, some I couldn’t due to work or finances. And then it all sort of slowed down and stopped, and the last wedding Louie and I went to was for the daugher of his boss, so we felt like, hmm, we’ve moved into the next generation, now we will go our friend’s kids’ weddings.

Which is why this weekend is so excited, it’s the wedding of two of my friends and I’m so pumped for them! By the way, I want to note that wordpress tells me every time I write that my sentences are long and convuluted, that you people won’t be able to read or understand them. And then I hit “ignore for this post” because I haven’t yet been bothered enough to figure out how to make them stop telling me this ever. We were reading some things yesterday that Lincoln wrote and I’m certain that his speeches and letters would also be marked as too long and convulated, and yet he was considered a great orator.

Not that I see myself as Lincoln, by any means! But that I am going to write how I think, and how I want, and if I were writing for page views and seo I would be way more popular BUT I don’t do this for the money. I mean, good gosh, I’m a musician, do I do anything for the money?

Anyway, so my good friend Stephanie is getting married, and last night there was a little girls only thing, and it was a lot of fun. I met some new people and chatted with people I already knew, and I had a lovely time. One woman asked me if I loved teaching violin, and I said, no, and she looked disappointed, and asked what I would do instead. The answer is: nothing. I am doing the jobs I want: my other thing I would do is NOT work, and instead read and walk and hike, and travel, perhaps 4 trips a year? And putter and write, and get better at crafting and all of that stuff.

I do enjoy teaching, sometimes, and other times I find it invigorating and challenging, and sometimes my students frustrate and annoy me, and other times they make me laugh so hard. But love is a strong word for me. I think many teachers do love teaching, and I don’t. I don’t love playing the violin for weddings either, but it’s something I do because it’s fine, and easy enough, and I know that people enjoy hearing it, and they pay me. I do enjoy some of my concerts, quite a lot, and I enjoy playing the violin, but not enough to practice as regularly as I should or could.

Maybe I’m burnt out, but maybe it’s ALSO ok if even in a creative field, or working with children, we don’t LOVE It, and we just think its good enough, or fun enough, or even that we don’t hate it, so it’s fine. Maybe it’s okay! Life isn’t always amazing or fun, and not every moment of every day can be spent doing something you absolute adore, can it? Am I delusional? Is it okay just to like your career and not to love it? To feel that you do it well?