I wanted to sleep in this morning, and I did my best. I woke up at 8:30 (they tell you that when you have kids you won’t be able to sleep in anymore…they don’t tell you that it’s actually not because you have kids, it’s because you are older…maybe “they” don’t know this) and now I’m drinking coffee and doing “stuff” online. I even did a short workout, though not outside because it’s cold and rainy enough that I just didn’t feel like it.

I’d love to be able to sleep like I used to, but I just can’t anymore. Maybe it’s aging, maybe it’s the constant stress of the last year…either way, I am enjoying my morning and relaxing. There’s also something so precious about waking up before you have to…it’s like bonus time.

The next week is pretty overwhelming. Maybe I overuse that word. I know I can handle it. I was looking at my schedule and trying to figure out what I need to do this weekend to prepare for it. I just have (as always) a few extra things added into my schedule and one of those is looking like it will require more practice than I’d initially thought. And as we are just SO close to the end of the school year/semester, I find myself wanting to just do outdoor activities and daydream and read rather than continue to buckle down. It’s hard to keep at it, day after day, isn’t it? I know plenty of folks work way harder than I do, but I feel like I put in a good week of work every few days

I know that the emojis I like to use tend to throw off the formatting, but I don’t want to give them up.

Are you going to the March for Science today? I am working during it, but considering the Climate March next week. I’m also considering not doing it and focusing on getting all my work done, and maybe over the summer I’ll be able to be a better activist. I still make my phone calls, at least occasionally, and I am an active resistbot user.

Unrelated: don’t you feel like a real adult when you handle fairly complex banking issues? For instance, I had a small amount of stock with a brokerage company and recently found out that company was changing to a monthly subscription model and I needed to transfer the account to another company. My initial impulse was to hide under the couch and then maybe just give up and cash out, because that seemed easiest, but I did a little research, and I think I’ve successfully submitted the proper paperwork. ADULTING for the win! (We’ll see. If I messed up, I suppose they will let me know.) See also: filing taxes and paying quarterly estimated taxes (as adulting examples.) I’ll still say that my biggest financial success to date is paying off my student loans, but I want to continue financial successes. I figure that these things are supposed to be complicated, but if somebody with a master of music in violin performance can figure it out, it isn’t rocket science.

I think I shall get a little bit more coffee now. I have to play a wedding, practice, and then tonight attend a symphony concert. Tomorrow is a bike ride, a rehearsal, and a piano concert at Wash U. Last night we had dinner at my favorite Mexican place, Lily’s, and then I stayed up late reading. It was fantastic.

What is it about warmer weather than makes me crave a vacation? Laziness?

Honestly though, only a few weeks ago I was completely gung-ho over all kinds of musical/career ideas. And now I’m exhausted and dreaming of vacations. May is a good month for those, of course, since the college semester is tantalizingly close to an end (along with those paychecks though ). We’ve got a camping/float trip planned along with a WEEK in Phoenix visiting my sister, brother-in-law, and, of course, niece. Perhaps she will be a fancy violinist by the time I leave.

I’m also looking at ways to make this summer more relaxing and rejuvenating than last one. The nature of mine and Louie’s jobs are that the fall and spring semesters are busier and we need to try to get back on track over the summer in order to hit life hard in the fall. Last summer we ended up being too stressed out, annoyed, and then ultimately took what was supposed to be a great trip (and it was!) but ended up being even more stressful and ended up with all kinds of car damage from the bear and hailstorm, and came home more frazzled than before. I’m experimenting with ways to make the summer better. I’m going to reclaim more of my time—no more days where students come with huge breaks in between, so it’s a day I feel like I work all day but for very little money. I’m planning to take a few short trips during the summer in addition to our longer, more relaxing trip in August. The August trip is still camping and hiking, but we aren’t driving as much and we are spending 3 days in each place. Hopefully the bears leave us alone too.

Does anybody have any good weekend getaway ideas from St Louis? I’m looking for inexpensive, relaxing, outdoorsy, and fairly secluded. 2 to 4 hours drive? Maybe a little more if worth it. Dog-friendly a plus.

Anyway, I’ve got a stack of things to do today, but thought I’d pop  in and say hello. Other fun summer plans include visits from and with family, playing an opera (maybe more), and teaching some students for other teachers, so it’s like having new students except you don’t have to stress out over messing them up entirely I’m also teaching at a new summer camp one week and playing a series of concerts at a series of retirement homes with a flute trio. Wait, where did all that stuff I said about relaxing go?

This month is flying by. So is life! I realized I haven’t blogged in quite awhile. This is due to being busy, which is a good thing.

I was talking with a fellow freelancer about the concept of “busy-ness.” You’ve read various articles about how being “busy” is the new response everybody gives and how being busy shouldn’t be the goal, and all of this negative press about being busy. The thing about being a freelancer is, being busy means we are working. To me, though busy can be exhausting and overwhelming, busy means I’m paying my bills, I’m saving, I’m going to hopefully retire someday. Busy is good. I enjoy nights off. I enjoy having days off, on those rare occasions in the spring. (Saturday!). But I also enjoy working, I value it, and I’m sorry that I’m so busy I can’t do it all. I also hate turning down work, because every call for a new gig is a possibility for something amazing to happen, and having to say no means I’m saying no to that possibility. Sigh.

So I’m busy. What have I done since we last “spoke”? One thing is that my parents stopped by for a quick visit. We had a nice lunch, walked around Forest Park on an absolutely beautiful day, and then they were able to come see me play with the Metropolitan Orchestra of St Louis. Unfortunately Louie came down with a nasty stomach bug (he actually went to the doctor, which means something…neither of us are “go to the doctor” people) and couldn’t enjoy it with us, but it was a short and sweet visit. Then I hit the ground running (as always, it seems, even though I worry, I worry about work a lot) in preparation for all of the extra Palm Sunday/Holy Week concerts.

Dad had an unusual looking lunch.

Mackenzie and I at Forest Park.

Very large, old tree.

I guess nobody took pictures except Mom, since there aren’t any of her

The orchestra concert.

Looking back through my pictures, since then, I voted (again! If democracy is important to you, you need to vote in all the elections. Call your reps, show up, VOTE.)

And I’ve been practicing, reading, dog-walking, running, doing it all.  Except hanging out with friends hasn’t really been happening. It turns out you can’t do it all. One day though, I shall be retired and have time for everything. Except work

My parents were visiting after a bit of a camping vacation. I feel like Louie and I have a lot of interesting stories after our camping trips, but my folks really have more (except no bears, that they have been luckier/smarter). I suppose if you camp and travel enough, the stories start to add up. I made a new life goal after chatting with them. For instance, they had a story about having to pack up their tent in the middle of night due to bad weather, and drive away. And most recently, waking up and realizing the rain had turned to snow, and going to Denny’s for breakfast hoping it would melt by the time they returned. Maybe some people don’t like these sorts of adventures, but they do keep life interesting!

I’m finding it hard to be motivated to practice when the weather is so nice. The other day I was thinking to myself, did I have anything pressing to practice and decided, no, so I read a book instead. Later that night I realized I had completely forgotten the quartet concert tonight! (We are playing Haydn’s Quartet arrangement of 7 Last Words). I don’t know if that’s a sign growing old (as Louie suggested) or just being tired? Speaking of tired, I woke up an hour before my alarm today. I was dreaming of a day to sleep in, but then when I woke up, I couldn’t sleep anymore. I remember days I could sleep and sleep forever, but currently that is not in my cards. At least I can go to sleep pretty decently at night, and I’m just a little tired. Sigh.

On the bright side, there’s a great article in the New York Times (fake news!) about how 1 hour of running can add 7 hours to your life. Or it just feels like it  Read it! And then put on your running shoes and go for a run. If I weren’t about to go play a concert, I’d join you!