We have been having a lot of rain, though I noticed my flowers in the front of the house still looked like they needed more. Maybe they actually needed more sun, I don’t know, they got all droopy and sad looking, so I watered them and moved them to the back where there is full sun. In the front the roof might have been keeping them from getting enough water from the rain, and also from the sun.

In any case, it’s been a busy two weeks, but things are settling down. I had some extra stuff for Holy Week (as the Catholics call it), a rehearsal one evening, and then some services on Friday, Saturday, and Sunday morning. I also got/had to attend one of my student’s senior recitals, which was wonderful, but was another thing to do. This week has been better but I was still exhausted from the previous week, so I’m really looking forward to relaxing and working around the house/garden today and tomorrow. I’ve gotten a bit obsessed with the garden. I got a few new tools, some great gloves, and all kinds of flower pots. I’ve already planted various flowers, trying to get some rhubarb going in one place for the future, and made a super crude pole area for some peas to climb up. Those I planted about a month ago and they are doing well (last I checked.) Today or tomorrow I need to do some weeding and keep working on the rest of the garden soil to get it ready for planting in early May. I also want to fill some new tiny pots I got and plant some flower seeds in them and see how that all goes.

I’ve been really excited about flowers this spring. It is likely because this spring feels so much more hopeful, what with vaccinations and perhaps returning to life, and also because I am getting older, and growing things is more appealing because time goes by faster, and also because I think I feel more settled into this house and have a better sense of ownership over it and the outside. And frankly, Louie doesn’t care if I plant things or weed, and he is happy if I make things better because he barely has the time for anything what with teaching all of his hybrid courses and working on his doctorate.

I’ve been working on some policy changes for my private studio going forward and trying to figure out what I want things to look like for the next few years, at least. It’s been fun, but it is phenomenal how much time I can spend revising a document to send to my students, and working with other stuff like that. I hope to add a few more students in the next month, and I’ve been trying to figure out how to make it all work. I also have been trying to streamline the “onboarding” process and have some ready to go materials to send people. It doesn’t really matter, because only about half of them read it anyway, and I know that I can be wordy, so another thing I’m doing with my new policy document is to make a quick “here’s the important stuff” list, followed with the real details.

I’m planning to start teaching again in person in about two weeks, and I realized I wanted another music stand. I used to give my students the music stand and not use one myself and I decided not to do that anymore, that I want a stand for my music and things. So of course I didn’t want to buy a black stand, because I am a colorful person, and it didn’t cost much more to buy a green stand! It matched my carpet more on the computer screen but I still love it. I can’t believe I’ll be having kids back in the house soon!

For anybody wondered: by then my household will be totally vaccinated, as well as quite a few of the parents of my students, as well as most of my adult students. I will ask everybody to wear masks nonetheless and we will run an air filter and have the windows open as long as possible. I will only be teaching about 1/2 of my students in person at this time, and I’ll limit each lesson to the student plus one parent or sibling in the house at once. They will be asked to have an online lesson if they have been exposed to anybody with COVID or have any potential symptoms/illness. Lastly, I will have each student wait outside if I am teaching an in-person student before their lesson so there is only one extra party in the house at any time. I think these precautions are MORE than the schools are doing yet also similar than what the schools are doing. We’ll also wash hands frequently and such, but I think if we are wearing masks it really covers most of the issues, especially with me being vaccinated.

Things I’m not doing: taking extra time between lessons. Some guidelines say to do that, but I don’t have the time. There will be many times I have online lessons in between in person lessons, but I’m not setting it up in any specific way. Everybody coming back has signed an agreement that they know COVID is contagious, that there is an inherent risk of some kind, and that they will follow all protocols and stay home if exposed or sick, and I think it’ll work out. Our vaccinated numbers here are only getting higher and higher.

I was thinking about how as a household with two adults, we can really say our household is protected against COVID after we are vaccinated, and those with kids have to wait longer. I was also thinking about the sort of fights between those with and those without kids, and how both sides always feel they are getting the brunt of the pain. As a childfree person, it is only in the past few years that people have stopped asked me when am I having kids, or why don’t I have kids, or telling me that I will understand (fill in the blank, ranging from true unconditional love to how to teach the violin properly) once I have kids. I have been insulted for not having children or told I’ll regret it, experienced overly personal questions about why I wouldn’t be having kids, and so on. At this point in my life, it doesn’t really bother me. There were times earlier in my life where I know I said similar things to people, said that not having kids was selfish, or asked overly personal questions about why people didn’t have kids, because I didn’t know any better either. We grow up surrounded by people with kids and you don’t realize there are people without kids, really, until you get older. At least I think for most people!

I think the pandemic was hard (IS hard) on everybody, and those with kids may think it is harder on them, and it may well be, but I know that the past year and months has been incredibly difficult for this household, and we are ready to be done with it. I know many have suffered more, and that many have had much more loss. I think we will have a collective grieving period, trying to recover, and I imagine it will be more difficult trying to grieve and recover from something that many never saw as a big deal, even as people died around them.

So those are my Saturday morning thoughts…mortality, grief, not having kids and disappointing my mother, and rain. The rain is lovely, and I hope it means my pea plants will grow tall.