It’s a weird time for me: did my summer vacation end the day I went in for surgery or does it end tomorrow?
You should know: summer is my favorite. Not because of the heat, but because school is out, and my schedule is more flexible because my students have more flexible schedules. I also work less, which I really prefer not to do year round, and Louie is more flexible, and we get to travel and have adventures and also do nothing. It’s so wonderful.
And then it ends, and fall comes and everything gets busier and the students have soccer and musicals and we all get stressed.
Couldn’t get these guys to look at me.
But, let’s look back on the fun. It was a wonderful summer. We spent 2 1/2 weeks in Norway. We went to Austin for a few days. We visited my family in New York State for a few days. We had some lovely meals, wine dinners, dinner with friends, dinner out, dinner cooked at home. We had a Fireworks BBQ with friends. I read a lot of books. We watched some good tv shows. We slept in, we relaxed, we did some yard work (admittedly, I didn’t do much), we got rid of more stuff and gave it away to other people.
Work wise: I played a lot of concerts and an opera. I taught a bunch of students, some new just for the summer which was fun too. I didn’t play too many weddings, though I did play one on viola. I wrote quite a few sheet music reviews and some just came out in the journal.
And then my surgery, but it went well, I’m getting better (pain level 0-2). I’ll have a checkup this week to see how things are going. I would have preferred not ending the summer that way, but that’s how it worked out. At least I didn’t miss much work as I was planning a break from teaching anyway.
Louie made a french drain from the garage.
I have some cool stuff coming up in the fall: several fun chamber music concerts, some bigger ensemble concerts (orchestra, small orchestra), a show at the Fox (Ain’t Too Proud), playing for some visiting artists (The Who), and more. I’ll likely have a few new students at Wash U along with some awesome returning ones, as well as a couple new ones at home. I’ll have all new students in my before school job, and I still have two weeks before that starts. I may also take an improvisation course to continue building those skills, and I think I’ll be teaching two Creative Ability Development Classes each week. Yes, it’ll be a lot, but I should still have some time most days to do other things that I enjoy doing.
Roasted broccoli and baked tofu (why isn’t it roasted also?) over momofuku noodles Leslie gave me for my birthday.
Non work-wise: we have tickets for some symphony concerts, a paddle trip on the Mississippi, a likely trip over Thanksgiving just the two of us, visiting my family over Christmas, some random weekend trips, definitely some hiking when I am ready (which will ideally coincide with the cooler weather), and some fun with friends.
And hopefully fall will go well, and not be too stressful. Ha! I will try to focus on the positive rather than the negative and remind myself that each gig I took was for a reason 🙂
I mentioned I was having surgery, so I thought I’d check in and tell you a little about how it’s been going.
I think there are moments in your life, little moments, that change you all the time. And then there are moments in your life, big moments, that you know you will never be the same after. This fits into the latter. I’d had some medical procedures, but this one has changed me forever. And I don’t just mean physically, but with everything.
How do I mean? Okay, so without specifically putting my entire medical history onto the internet, I will say I had laparoscopic surgery on some issues with my lower abdomen. It was what needed to happen to resolve some issues I’d been having. I knew back in May that I would be having this surgery, so it was scheduled for several months.
I was so stressed about it. I pretended I wasn’t, and put on a good face for everybody, but I was. I was scared of the pain. I was, well, afraid of my own mortality, because I thought, this is the first physical thing that I have had that is truly irreversible, I’m getting old, nothing will ever be the same again, what if I never wake up from surgery even, those sorts of thoughts. And I was scared of the pain, that it would hurt and how I would deal with that.
Muriel never lets things bother her. Not actually true, as evidenced by her anti-vet behavior, but she certainly knows how to relax.
I realized, and this is stupid of me for realizing so late, that other people likely feel exactly like this going into surgery. How easy it is for us to compare our insides to other people’s outsides! How many times did I tell people good luck on their surgery and remind them of how successful it would be and that they had nothing to worry about? How likely it is that on the inside they were also terrified?
I had been so stressed that there were a couple of late night moments over the summer where I had a quasi panic attack, started crying and hyperventilating, that sort of thing. I just couldn’t imagine it. One of my coping mechanisms for life is visualizing outcomes, and for this I didn’t have enough to compare it too.
Luckily I had already been to the procedure center however, for an earlier procedure, and I did know what it would be like going under anesthesia, it was just the afterwards, and staying in the hospital, and being in pain that I had trouble with. And feeling like this was a decision I made, (the right decision, I believe) but still, I was doing something for an issue that wasn’t even causing me any obvious trouble.
As the time got closer, it became harder and harder to think or talk about, and the days just ticked down. My sister Leslie visited the two nights leading up to surgery as she was en route from her summer workplace to her home the rest of the year. It was a nice distraction. I had to drink a bunch of ensure drinks before the surgery, and wash with special soap.
Leslie’s cat Albergo enjoying my teaching chair.
Louie and I got up early a week ago, and arrived at St Clare Hospital by 5:30 am. Things got moving from there, checking in, paying, getting into my gown, getting my IV placed on my arm, etc. I was tired and stressed but also just ready to be done. The anesthesiologist came in to tell me what they would be doing, my doctor/surgeon came by (she was ready early, but we didn’t get started early), a bunch of other people stopped by, and then I was saying bye to Louie and they took me down the hallway to the surgery room. The people taking me (I don’t know if they were nurses, doctors, orderlies, whatever, you see so many different people) were joking amongst themselves about driving the stretcher, and seemed to enjoy their jobs. I imagine the sedation was already starting to kick in, but it was funny observing how my stretcher kept gaining people walking with us, from 2 people to 4 or 5 people. And then we stopped and I helped move myself from the stretcher to the operating table, and that’s all I remember of that.
I woke up in the recovery room with a nurse by me who I had met before. I was in pain, I felt cramping, pain, and also an intense feeling of having to urinate. She told me I shouldn’t have to but I insisted I did (I did) and I asked for more pain meds and asked how it went. She said it went very well, just as planned. I remember going in and out of sleeping there, and feeling like the pain was worst than I had imagined and wondering what on earth the anesthesiologist had meant about how they would make sure I was comfortable. I will say this: though I was able to sleep off and on, I was in no way comfortable. I don’t know if that is normal for surgery, but I was in quite a lot of pain for the rest of the day, and always wanted more medicine than they were willing to give me.
After awhile they took me up to my private room for the rest of the day and overnight. Louie was already there, and I was situated on the bed. I was more alert (likely not too much) but I wasn’t feeling well. The nurse tried to get me to eat some, and I was feeling nauseated. I finally did eat a little when she told me if I ate something she could give me a stronger pain medicine. I rested the afternoon away, and Louie napped as well–the room had places for family to sleep.
Anyway, I was up for eating by dinner time, so I ordered some food. I ended up not having much of an appetite, so I didn’t eat much of the quesadilla I’d ordered, but I did enjoy the chocolate brownie. (If you are staying at St Clare’s Hospital in Fenton, order the chocolate brownie). I was surprised by how many items there were on the menu to order, and I could have anything I wanted! It is too bad I was sick and wasn’t able to really take advantage of this.
I was still mostly lying on my side because of the pain and cramping, and my right shoulder also hurt tremendously. It had been hurting the previous few months and especially during opera, so I wasn’t super surprised, but since then it’s been fine, and I think that oddly the surgery made it worse! (this is a real thing.) At some point after dinner, Louie went home to sleep and see the cats. My night nurse gave me something to help me sleep, I think, and I ended up having the best night’s sleep I’d had in a long time! I believe I slept from 12:45 (the last time I called her in to help walk me to the bathroom) until 7 am.
Hospital selfie as I waited for check out.
I woke up and got my vitals checked (they did this periodically), got my medicine, and ordered my breakfast. I was pretty hungry but didn’t want to eat too much (they warned me not to because of digestive issues), though I could eat anything I liked. Louie came back after awhile, and I got discharged mid-morning. They took me down in a wheelchair and helped me into the car and we went home. I really can’t say nice enough things about the nurses and the staff at St. Clare: they were fantastic across the board and I would gladly have stayed another day for their help.
Getting home went well, and then getting into the the house wasn’t so bad. I couldn’t walk too well, it was impossible to stand upright, but I made it and he helped me get situated on the bed. And that was the day really. Each day has gotten a little better, and today I woke up feeling the best yet, thankfully. I am still not sure if I can sit up for a long time–it’s easier to stand up or lie down, but I feel like today I might be able to sit upright longer than before, and will try to walk around the house even more. I’m not on the stronger pain pills anymore–I started cutting those off on Monday but I’m still taking regular ibuprofen and tylenol. My incisions hurt sometimes, and itch sometimes, and definitely freak me out, but they look like they are healing just fine.
My handy-dandy water cup from the hospital. They kept refilling it with ice water and it was the best thing ever. I am still using it and using the ice water as well.
The days have passed quickly, and Louie has been the best at helping out: the first few days I needed him for absolutely everything and he was amazing. We had people stop by and bring food and visit and that has been really nice too, much nicer than I realized. I didn’t share much beforehand with people, and I shared on instagram, and the well wishes really lifted my spirits. I’d been feeling stressed out, and a bit lonely and depressed, and it is so wonderful to be on the other side of this. I am thankful to my family and friends for being there for me, and for being supportive and helpful and kind and generous.
I don’t know if I’ll ever have to have another surgery, but if so, I think I’ll have a much better idea of what to expect. I also hope that I can better support my friends and family who might go through a similar thing.
Muriel, lending her support.
I am still feeling okay sitting here typing, but I might go lie down again soon anyway. The one thing people keep emphasizing is to take it easy especially as you start to feel better, and that you might get really tired all of sudden. I am planning to do some teaching starting on Monday, but I need to be able to sit upright for several hours at a time for that. I think I should be okay, as today is only Wednesday and I can tell I’m feeling better today than yesterday, but continuing to rest and do light walking around the house will probably help the most.
I had been unsure of what to pack for the hospital. I packed some toiletries, pjs, a change of clothes, my kindle, chargers, and an extra battery pack for charging. I didn’t need most of this: I wore my glasses the whole time, I did brush my teeth but not the first day. The battery pack was useful though so I could have my phone near me overnight without risk of it dying. I couldn’t concentrate well enough to read my kindle, and of course I was wearing the gown and slipper socks they gave me and that was fine. I was glad to have my things with me in case though, so there’s no harm in packing more than you need, but I guess I really only needed my phone battery pack and charging cord, my toothbrush and toothpaste, and a ponytail holder for my hair.
So that’s it, one week later. I think it was just about one week ago exactly that I was waking up, so I’ve come a long way in that week. One last thought, as I was waking up, I remember thinking to myself that while I could wake up, it didn’t matter, because I had the rest of the day off, and I could finally just rest. It has been nice having time off just to rest, and letting myself heal, and knowing that that is all I really have to do.
I’ve got my fall schedule organized, everything set up online for scheduling and billing my students.
I’ve got rehearsals and concerts lined up for the fall. Plenty to do!
I’m going in for surgery on Wednesday, and then I’ll spend some time recovering.
It’s been a busy end of summer but mostly just getting things in order, going to some parties, cleaning the house, and running errands. I played enough concerts and shows in July and August to really feel like a performing musician again, and taught more students than ever before. We had some lovely meals out at the Whittemore House Wine Dinner and at the Lucky Accomplice. Louie defended his dissertation! I read lots of books and started learning Norwegian just for fun.
Things are good, and will be even better once I have this medical stuff behind me. Wish me luck!
It’s August, and I could say, August already, but I do feel like I’ve been feeling the time passing pretty well in July. (June flew by).
It’s been a busy few weeks of actual violin playing, which has been fun. I joined up with a local group, the Gateway Festival Orchestra, for 3 concerts, which was fun, and then some chamber music, plus opera. And teaching! I’ve had plenty of time to relax and read as well. We haven’t done much outside as the weather has alternated between being super hot and flooding, but there were some nice days this past weekend and we got out for some walking.
This month I have surgery. I won’t go into details here but, it’s a big deal, but not a big deal, all at once. It’s a common surgery, mostly for prevention, and I’m feeling pretty good about it, but yet I’ve also been exceedingly stressed out at times and very emotional. I imagine now that this is how many people feel leading up to surgery, but since I have never had surgery before as an adult, I didn’t know how I would feel. Anyway, the date is August 17 so think of me then, and I’m taking two weeks or so off to recover, and hopefully that is enough. If not, I’ll take more as needed. I find that having this hanging over my head at the end of the summer has made everything more difficult, so I’ll be glad to have it behind me when I’m at that point. Sorry for being vague!
You can tell when I haven’t been doing much when I don’t even have any recent pictures on my phone. The cats have been boring (haha) and just sitting around sleeping most of the time. Louie is preparing to defend his dissertation, and I’ve been working a lot of evenings so we haven’t done too many interesting meals. But I figured I’d pop in here to say hello!
Assuming my surgery goes well, I anticipate doing a lot of reading and watching Netflix (and the like) during my recovery time. I have stacks of books and I’m sure plenty of shows to watch, but more recommendations are always welcome.
I wanted to sum up our trip to Norway in one post, for easy sharing and referencing for people interested in going. I’ve had a few questions from friends, so this will make it easier!
We were there about 2 1/2 weeks. In a nutshell, here’s what we did. We loved everywhere we stayed, but I’m only going to list the restaurants we really enjoyed and recommend, and the same for the activities. Everybody loves different things, so do your own research, but this is what we loved.
“Sognefjord in a Nutshell”: Express boat from Bergen to Balestrand and then to Flam. The folks at Trip Advisor don’t like this tour, but we absolutely loved it. 4 hours on a boat, sign me up! It was terrific. I’m sure “Norway in a Nutshell” is great as well.
Oslo: We stayed at a fantastic AirBNB, great location, cute place. My only caveat would be that it is a loft bed, which we enjoyed but is not for everyone. Coffee/pastries: Apent Bakeri Frogner. Restaurants we loved: Lorry, Engebret Cafe (I loved it, Louie couldn’t go with me to this one.) Restaurants we liked a lot: Roti Shop Oslo, Mucho Mas, Jewel of India.
To do in Oslo, in a quasi favorite order: Vigeland Park, Norwegian Folk Museum, National Gallery, see a show at the Opera House, Fram Museum, Kon Tiki Museum, Holmenkollen Ski Jump and Museum, day trip to Drobak and Oscarsburg Fortress via ferry, Akershus Festning, Norwegian Resistance Museum, the Royal Palace.
It’s easy to get around: you can walk everywhere, or buy tickets on the public transportation system. In Oslo, download the Ruter app to your phone and you can buy tickets for the trip, the day, or the week (or longer!). I also always recommend downloading Google Maps for offline use as you never know when that will help.
Bring an umbrella, you’ll need it. For getting to and from the airport quickly, flytoget is super easy to use, though more expensive and not much faster than the regular train, apparently.
Fjaerland is a magical little place.
Oh, and we NEVER used any cash during our entire visit. We didn’t take any out, figuring we would if we needed, and we never did. Everybody uses credit cards. You don’t have to tip at restaurants either, even though the machine will suggest that you do. (We are suckers so we usually did a little, but really, they are already being paid well.)
The only cash we saw was in the museum! I do wish I had some coins as a souvenir, but oh well.
Trip planning resources: I used Rick Steves’ Norway Guidebook, Fodor’s Norway Guidebook, Trip Advisor (forums) and lots of internet searches. We also watched Occupied and I read the Harry Hole mysteries by Jo Nesbo (both entirely optional, just for fun). If we went back, there are more places to go (further north especially) but we loved all the places we visited and we felt like our research had paid off.
I am still thinking fondly of our trip over a month later. If you have an opportunity to go to Norway, GO!! I reserve the right to update this post along the way if I want to add anything.
After several years of everything being canceled due to COVID, Louie was speaking at two conferences in June, with just a week between. The first was in Oslo (if you are reading this and missed my posts about that trip, I recommend!) and then in Austin, Texas. Neither of us had been to Austin before, so as he was making his travel plans, I decided to come down for part of the conference. I wanted to teach a few days that week, so I went from Sunday to early Thursday, and he came back the next evening.
We were regretting our travel plans on Saturday before we left, as we had only been home for 4 days really before having to leave again, and still recovering from jet lag (and/or COVID, who really knows). With our original plan we would have had 6 full days of jet lag recover (and no COVID, that definitely wasn’t in the plan) but…anyway, we left bright and early Sunday morning and flew direct to Austin.
We decided to mask in the airport because there are a lot of people there and COVID isn’t the only thing you can catch!Our plane was getting ready.
The plane flight was uneventful, and we got to our hotel easily. We were staying at the conference hotel, the AT&T Hotel and Conference Center which was on the edge of the campus of the University of Texas at Austin. We were able to check in to our room early and got settled. It was hot outside, but very nice and cool at the hotel. I had had images of hanging out at the pool, but the pool was located on the side of the hotel by a busy street and never looked as appealing as the pictures of it (surprise!).
Louie didn’t have anything scheduled on Sunday, so we headed out on foot for some sightseeing and ultimately a late brunch reservation at Comedor.
We walked by the Texas State Capitol and realized you could also go inside, so we did that (it was good to get out of the heat).
The grounds were very pretty and had many different statues.
We had to go through a metal detector to get into the Capitol, but I think if you had a gun you just had to declare it. I was struck by how many non-English speaking people were at the Capitol, as well as many different looking English speaking people, likely a full cross section of America as it is, rather than America as…well, the people who run the Texas State Capitol wish for it to be. Keep in mind this was also still before my rights to my own body were taken away from me…it was an interesting visit and a beautiful building, but the underlying message that we have received from the Texas government is not a welcome one.
Texas is obsessed with stars. You see them everywhere!Looking down into the rotunda.It’s the little details, too.A sculpture outside on the grounds. It was hard to get in a picture, but it was the Texas African American History Memorial, and had a lot going on. It is interesting to note that we were actually there on Juneteenth! That sentence: “The conflict did not readily change the Black experience in Texas, as most African-Americans continued to be held in bondage and forced to labor.” I didn’t know until a few years ago that it took a long time after the Emancipation Proclamation for enslaved people to be freed. Austin is full of murals. The idea of “Keep Austin Weird”, they say, isn’t about the murals necessarily but just about having so many local businesses rather than chains. Brunch at Comedor. We were used to Norway prices, so it seemed reasonable.
We LOVED Comedor. We had fish tacos and a few other things.
Fish tacos!The Huarache with mushrooms, egg, and tomatoes.We finished with a pancake the size of a car tire. We did not eat the whole thing.
After lunch we walked down to the Congress River for a bit, which was beautiful but I was really hot, so we headed back to the hotel then.
The hotel room was nice enough to hang out in, and we cooled off and I chatted online with my family for the weekly meeting. Louie was able to work a bit as well as check into the conference and get the official book.
After that, we decided to go to a nearby restaurant called the Texas Chili Parlor. It was a dive bar, but it was welcoming, very near the hotel, and ended up being terrific. The prices were good, quick service, and we enjoyed chili and frozen margaritas.
The conference started Monday, so I had a few days to figure things out for myself. Some of the things I’d hoped to do Monday ended up being closed due to the Juneteenth Holiday, so my Monday ended up being fairly uneventful. I ate at the Driscoll Hotel at the1886 Cafe for breakfast, and did a little wandering around after that. I had tacos for lunch at the Velvet Taco, and spent the afternoon at the Lyndon B. Johnson Presidential Library, which was one of the reasons I’d decided to go to Austin.
People had a lot of things to tell us to do in Austin, and I’m sure many of them were great fun, but I was most interested in the museums. Unfortunately visiting from Sunday to Wednesday wasn’t the best to see museums, as I only managed to fit two in during that time, but those were great. I loved the LBJ Library and learned so much!
Inside the Museum–you can see the documents, filed on shelves.I read this as “Please do not touch the Murial.”Selfie in the Oval Office replica.The view from Lady Bird Johnson’s office.
I walked back to the hotel after that, losing and finding my walk since nearly everything in the area was under construction. We met up with Louie’s boss for dinner and planned to go to a nearby Indian restaurant, but the wait was estimated to be 1 1/2-2 hours, so…we decided to go to the Chili Parlor again. And yes, it was again for all of us.
The next day I had signed up for an organized tour for BBQ and wineries in Texas through the company Austin Detours. I am finding that when traveling on my own it’s nice to have something organized and pushes me out of my comfort zone. I get so worried meeting up with things, and of course, it was easy and the tour guide was welcoming and friendly.
There were just 6 of us plus the guide, and it was a wonderful day. We started downtown with a tour around from the van and then headed to the hills to the Salt Lick Barbecue. Now, you may know that I eat a mostly pescatarian diet, but my reasons for doing so allow for occasional meat eating opportunities, especially when it seems integral to the understanding and culture of a place, or for special occasions.
I got the burnt ends and the pulled pork. It was pretty good, but nothing will ever hold a candle to the barbecue of my youth, Hickory Hills in Clinton, South Carolina.
Next we went to the Fall Creek Winery, which was very nearby.
The tour guide liked taking pictures of us so I got some fun photos from the day.
We did a tasting there of about 6 wines and there were enjoyable. Not great, but certainly…as good as Missouri wines, I would say.
And then we went to the Duchman Family Winery. The tasting was different: we stood at the counter rather than sitting, but it was another 6 or so wines and though most in the group preferred the Duchman wines, I preferred the Fall Creek wines. I didn’t buy anything, as flying home with it would have been too difficult.
We stopped at this sign on our way back to Austin for pictures.
I recommend the tour if you have an afternoon free and want to do something different.
That evening Louie and I went back to Comedor for dinner. We are evidently creatures of habit, and loved the food for brunch so wanted to try it for dinner. I know there are many more places, but it seemed like most recommendations were barbecue and tacos and this was like, fancier tacos. We had an avocado tostada, an okra and corn side, a quesadilla with mushrooms, fish with mole sauce, and for dessert, chocolate tamal with ice cream. The meal was great, especially the okra side and the fish with mole sauce. The odd thing was that the restaurant, as it got darker outside, simply got darker and darker, to the point that I was struggling to see my way to the bathroom after the meal and nearly bumping into everyone. It was an interesting mood lighting choice.
The fish with sauce.
Wednesday morning Louie took the morning off from the conference, and we went to the Texas History Museum. It was a nice way to spend a few hours.
I told you they like stars. This one outside the museum is probably the largest.Standing in front of an Alamo replica. Remember!
The museum was interesting, and covered the history of Texas from the beginning of time until the present day. Some of it was a little starry eyed, and some of the stuff about slavery was especially starry eyed/propaganda, but I’m glad we went.
I met up with a friend for lunch then. A friend who used to live in St Louis now teaches at UT-Austin and we went to Kerbey Lane Cafe for lunch. It was great to catch up and chitchat, and reminded me that sometimes you can just have a nice time meeting up with a friend. (Sometimes it feels overwhelming visiting places where you know people and feeling like there’s no way to fit everything in, seeing the sights, seeing people, making people happy!) And then for dinner we met up with an old friend of Louie’s and had pizza and beer at Pinthouse Brewery.
Beer.
So that was my trip to Austin. I didn’t get to any of the Art Museums I wanted to see, I didn’t get to see my friend Heather who was also in Austin that week, we didn’t see the bats at dusk on the Congress Street bridge, we didn’t get Torchy’s Tacos or Franklin’s BBQ, we didn’t get to the swimming hole at Barton Springs, but we had a nice time, we still miss the Chili Parlor, and I was especially glad to have seen the LBJ Presidential Library.
Traveling is funny: it’s wonderful to explore and see new places, but with the internet and instagram, there seem to be these ideas that there are certain places everybody must see and do, and that there are places you must take pictures and post online, and…I think it’s important that we don’t see traveling as a series of checklists to cover. I enjoyed Austin on my terms, taking what people said and choosing from them and adding in stuff that I found.
The same with Norway: we loved what we did, and we definitely did some of the most popular things, but we also did things that particularly interested US, which isn’t necessarily the same thing that interests everybody else. In my day to day life, I do things that are very different than many people, so why would I do the same things in travel? I do think we might have enjoyed the bats, but it just didn’t work out with our dinner plans.
When I was young, my family took a long road trip “Out West”, as we called it, and one thing we did one night was sit in an amphitheater outside Carlsbad Caverns and watched the bats in their mass exodus from the cave at sunset. It was awe-inspiring, and part of me wanted to keep that in my memory as it is, and thought, maybe that’s enough bats for me right now.
My flight home was early on Thursday, and I had been hearing that the Austin airport was a nightmare, so I arrived about 2 hours early. The airport was the opposite of a nightmare and security took no time at all, haha, but it’s always better to be too early than running late. I’m glad I went to Austin, and I hope that Louie does some more conferences in the future that I can tag along on!
