All posts by hannahviolin

I am a violinist. I also enjoy running, working out, reading, and hanging with my friends and cat.

My Violin Practice

Before I start, in case you were worried, Mackenzie (my dog) is doing much better! She came home Monday evening and was still a bit swollen in the face, but by last night most of that swelling was down.

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Onto the topic of this post, which occurred to me AS I was practicing.

There are always articles being written on practicing. How to practice, how best to practice, practice mistakes to avoid, how not to practice, and more. We are told to practice with a purpose, to have a plan, to have accomplishments and objectives. I posted an article on facebook just yesterday about how to “optimize your practicing.”

Lately, however, I’ve just been making violin practice a thing that I do during the day before I teach. I pull out music I’m trying to learn, music I’d like to learn, etudes to sight-read, music I’m teaching, and I just start practicing.  Sometimes I’ll play a piece I hear on the radio, sometimes I’ll spend a hour on scales. I just do what I feel like and make sure that if there’s a piece I definitely need to work on, that I get to that one enough.

I have made decisions over the past few years to include practice time into my daily schedule. I don’t practice every day, and I take weeks off over vacations, but I no longer overschedule myself with work to the point where weeks go by without proper practice. Once you know how it feels to be playing well, you don’t want to lose it, and in fact, you want to continue to improve.

I’ve been thinking practicing quite a bit. Many of my students don’t practice often enough. And the fact of it is this: it’s generally not that they practice inefficiently, or wrong, or badly. It’s that they simply do not practice regularly. A student who practices regularly will be better than one that does not.

And that’s the attitude I started taking to my own practice in the last year or two. Oh, and did you see what I called it? My own practice. I read a friend’s Facebook status once referring to “his violin practice” and I thought of it just like people refer to their yoga practice. It’s not about goals or accomplishments. It’s about the process. The process of getting out the violin, tuning, and then beginning to play. And doing so regularly.

Here’s my general advice: if you are struggling to get into a practice routine, don’t worry about doing it right or wrong. Simply do it. Start. There is no wrong way to practice, except NOT to practice at all.

Sure, starting at the beginning of your piece and playing through to the end, up to speed, totally ignoring mistakes…might not be the most efficient use of your time. Unless you have the issues of making mistakes and stopping all the time. For every list I read of how not to practice, I can often think of a reason to ask a student to practice that way! (I’m a contrarian, and I detest people giving expert advice which is actually just advice from their personal experience.) So go, get your violin out, and practice.

Or whatever it is. If you want to create a habit: running, eating healthy, being kind to strangers, don’t worry about the best way. Just start doing it regularly. The rest will fall into place.

It’s a beautiful day

Mackenzie started having a severe allergic reaction to something this morning so I had to make an emergency trip to the vet. She’s there now and got a variety of shots and is on an IV for fluids (her temp was quite high). They are keeping her for observation since it was pretty bad and evidently she was starting to have trouble breathing. I’m hoping she’ll be able to come home by evening. What caused it is anybody’s guess—is it related to her normal allergy issues or did she get a bug bite or something?

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We did go into the woods over the weekend. We did a long hike at Greensfelder Park. My phone said it was 9.55 miles, Louie’s said around 7.5, the trail said less than both of those. Who knows. My phone ALWAYS shows a longer distance than Louie, though usually his says he has more steps. This is a great mystery—I often have my phone in a bag and he often has his in his pocket so we’re guessing that’s the reason for the disparity but it doesn’t make that much sense.

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The trees are pretty.

We ended up skipping the Farmer’s Market in the morning in order to go hiking instead. We want to really be in shape (well, the best you can going hiking once a week, ha) for our upcoming Grand Canyon trip.

Saturday night we went to the symphony. Karen Gomyo played the Sibelius Violin Concerto and it was breathtaking. Her sound, intensity, and clarity were amazing! It was one of my favorite performances in some time.

Sunday I got to see a student play with her orchestra at the Community Music School, which was really fun, actually!

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And then Louie and I went crazy at REI and ended up each buying a pair of hiking shoes. So we both own good hiking boots AND good hiking shoes. I think this gear thing is starting to get out of hand, but it makes sense to have both, we think.

So now it’s Monday and things are a bit thrown off due to the vet run, but I’m trying to have my normal routine: email, practice, blog. I’m listening to some of the pieces we are learning for the Perseid Quartet for fall concerts and having a lovely time. The weather is beautiful, not too hot, sunny, and I’m just hoping Mackenzie is doing okay.

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These guys keep me busy! And yeah, it’s been a hard year with the animals. Losing Oistrakh in January, dealing with all of Chloe’s issues, and Mackenzie’s allergies (which seem less serious but still undiagnosed and causing problems.) It’s been a theme for this year.

And another week bites the dust

These weeks. They fly by.

It’s so easy to get angry about things you see, and so easy to expend energy being angry. And maybe being angry is worth it, but mostly just living my life and doing my best and staying out of it makes me calmer and happier. (I’m referring to both politically and a professional situation.)

I remind myself this is why I’m happy teaching at home. I teach the way I want to, and don’t need to let anybody else tell me how or what to teach. It’s freeing, and I love that aspect of it. I also get to charge what I want (within reason, of course) and don’t have to give anybody any of my pay (except taxes, of course). It’s pretty great! And now I can also have good health insurance, and go to the doctor when I need to and get things covered by this health insurance. I’ve never been healthier or happier, or had more money in the bank.

And that’s why I have to just keep plugging away. I can’t worry about other stuff. I can’t worry about what people think. This is my life. I love playing the violin, I like teaching (I don’t love it, it’s not my favorite thing, but I like it a lot!), I love traveling and taking pictures and reading, I like getting out and hiking, I love food, I love music, I love doing races and events with friends.

Anyway. Now that I have that off my chest! I am SO glad I did the Festival for my students. I got a wonderful note from one of the moms that just made me smile, and I am looking forward to even more students playing next year! We have a recital coming up that I’m trying to get organized—it’ll be right before Louie and go to Arizona for a week—so there’s a fair amount of organization required. (And packing lists! What to bring to visit Leslie, attend a symphony concert, and hiking/camping?)

My thoughts are scattered.

On deck for this weekend: a Passover dinner (Seder?) tonight, Farmer’s Market and perhaps Yoga outside tomorrow, Symphony tomorrow night. Probably we want to get a hike in to prepare for our vacation in May. The weather is beautiful today and the weekend looks amazing. After this weekend I’ll have a few weekends with work so I want to take full advantage of this one!

A lovely spring weekend

So FINALLY the weekend rolled around and I was feeling better. Still mildly congested and sneezy here and there, but SO much better.

Friday night Louie and I went to what is possibly (at this time) our favorite Mexican restaurant, Lily’s. We had decided to postpone our now traditional Taco Thursday until Friday and met some friends for dinner. I had the shrimp diablo (camerones, which evidently I completely mispronounced while ordering and Louie thought it was very funny) and while the dish was spicy, it was good.

Saturday morning I had volunteer orientation/training at the Clowder House. This is the place with all the cats. Wow. It was totally overwhelming but amazing. There are cats EVERYWHERE in the building. Every possible place where a cat could be, there is a cat, possibly more than one. And it does smell like a lot of cats live there—mostly volunteering seemed to be cleaning up cat messes! I got a tour of the place, met a million cats (the director knew most of them by name, which I found very impressive) and then went to work on a few of the rooms. Litter boxes to scoop, blankets to shake out or replace with clean ones, water to refill, etc, etc. It was hard work but all the cats were adorable (well, mostly) and friendly. I saw a cat that really resembled the good doctor Oistrakh, and another cat who has to wear a cone because of a skin issue (not the same one as Chloe.) Mostly though, there were just cats everywhere. Did I mention that? The cats live there, and mostly seem to have a pretty good time.  I think I’ll be back!

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After lunch (fresh eggs from a wonderful student!) Louie and I went to the Highway 44 Conservation area with the two dogs to do some hiking. I didn’t take any pictures for some reason (it actually wasn’t that scenic, which is likely the reason) and we just meandered around. We realized after we set out that we didn’t have a map of the area, so we just kept making a few turns and did eventually end up back where we started. It was a pretty warm day for once! We had a really nice hike, maybe 3-4 miles, and the dogs particularly loved it. Afterwards we went home and did some stuff around the house—laundry and stuff like that. We decided to get dinner out and went to a Vietnamese place we’ve gone a few times called Kim Ngan. Might I recommend the crepes (hold the pork for this one) and we also had tofu with lemongrass which was pretty good.

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Sunday we met up with April to go the Thurteen Carnival at Washington University. We walked from her house which was a nice long walk (figured we’d burn up the funnel cake calories in advance.) The carnival was nice—lots of little rides, stands, snacks, etc. There were tons of families there. We decided to ride the Ferris Wheel, but they wouldn’t allow single riders, so we ended up doing it twice—once April and I went, and then after making the circle around the carnival and eating a funnel cake, Louie and I went on the Ferris Wheel. I was a little nervous at first but it was fun and a great view!

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The rest of the day we worked more on house stuff and then finished watching the first season of Better Call Saul. It was a wonderful weekend!

Now I’m getting ready for a nice week of teaching. I was feeling a little negative in a previous blog post, and feeling like maybe I was complaining too much about being a teacher. It isn’t exactly where I saw myself, but honestly, most days the time flies by and the students are just so much fun. Sometimes it’s hard, and sometimes it’s a big challenge, and sometimes I just don’t even know what to do, but other times the students get so excited to learn and achieve new things, and it’s just delightful. I’m trying to embrace my life as it is rather than stress over what could be, what might have been, and what SHOULD be, which is certainly the worst one! I have certificates and ribbons to give to a few students this week and I know they will be happy.

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I should try to blog more often than once a week! On the one hand I don’t feel like I have much to say, but I have so many fun pictures to share.

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We are still dog-sitting—the dogs are ridiculous and huge and adorable.

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I got my hair done. I love the color—the gray has been harder to cover than in the past so I decided to get it done properly.

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It’s hard to see exactly what’s going on here. That’s Chloe sitting on Louie’s lap but also sort of sitting on Mackenzie’s head. No concept of personal space, that one.

I’m finishing this up while reading blog posts about various National Parks in Utah and listening to three animals snore, at various volumes. Life is pretty good Smile

Go St Louis Mississippi River 7K

Quick recap! I’ve done the Go Half several times in the past, but this year I just hadn’t been getting in the long runs so I changed to the 7k, which was a new race.

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I woke up and felt horrible (coughing, bloody nose) and it was cold outside but I’m tough and all so I headed downtown anyway. I parked in the same lot I always park in for these races, which ended up being further away from the end that I would have preferred. The 7K started near Market and 14th just like the other races, but then the course goes across the Eads Bridge to Illinois, through East St Louis, back over the MLK Bridge, and then ends with a WONDERFUL downhill to Laclede’s Landing, after which you can hop on the Metrolink back to the Civic Center stop, included with your race bib. What I wasn’t sure of is if I’d get in trouble going to the next stop (closer to my car) since the materials implied that it would both be okay and not be okay, so I got off and walked quite a ways. Anyway. The race?

Did I mention it was cold? And rain was predicted. I met up with my friend April who was running the marathon relay with some friends of hers.

(We took a great picture, but it’s upside down. I’m totally sick of this—if the iPhone can take pictures any direction why can’t I move them to be right-side up on my blog? I swear, it’s things like this that drive me totally bonkers!).

The race started in waves—the marathon, marathon relay, half marathon, and 7k runners were all together. I thought this was more fun since I’m slow and ended up near people the whole time which I’m sure I wouldn’t have been as much otherwise! The race was FUN. The new course (well, new last year, I think) was great, at least the first 7K of it, and I felt pretty good throughout (other than the whole, having a cold thing).

The finish was the best—you saw it coming back across the bridge! And then you ran downhill all the way. The only hard part was that the last part of the course was a brick (cobblestone?) road and I felt I needed to do some easy stepping. And I got a medal anyway, and only had to run, well, approximately 1:04:38 for me, which is really slow, but whatever. (Seriously, I need to just run faster, but it’s hard when you can’t breathe through your nose, so I’m going to accept it this time. And I’m faster than anybody NOT running, unless they are a speed walker or something…Winking smile

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Car selfie, post race. Woo hoo! And then I went home and took loads of cough medicine and did very little the rest of the day. I’m not entirely sure that running in the cold and wet was the best idea, but I’m not sure it wasn’t! I would do this race again though—it was a fun and unique course, and well run.

Thoughts on Self-Doubt

This cold has really knocked me out. I’m assuming it’s a cold because it’s all been in my head, but I’ve been dealing with it now for weeks (unless part of it still was allergies, I’m not a doctor…) and am finally (I hope) on the mend. However, this past week has been tough, and then the weekend too, especially on Sunday when I suffered from a terrible cough all day. And then at night and in the mornings it’s tough too. ANYWAY.

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So that’s why I haven’t been doing a whole lot of interesting stuff, mostly, wake up, try to clear up a bit, maybe do a tiny bit of practice, teach as much as possible, go to bed. But finally, the sun is out, and I’m moving into the “get other things done too” part of it.

Over the weekend some of my students were playing for the Music Club Federation Festival. For that they had to memorize two pieces (in some cases only one, but those were concertos) to play with a pianist in front of a judge for a score and comments. You can get up to 5 points for the highest score, and if, over the course of several years, you accumulate 15 points you can get a trophy…for the next 15 you get a bigger trophy, and so on. In high school there are ways to get more than 5 points per year. In any case, I ended up getting completely stressed out over this (the night before) and basically having a total freak-out over a minor detail I had messed up (which ended up not mattering at all) and I am thankful for Louie for talking me down and telling me that no, I am not a terrible teacher if my students haven’t practiced enough and that no one is judging me on how they play. Sometimes I get these moments of self-doubt where I think of how this wasn’t what I was supposed to be doing, this isn’t why I went to conservatory, and that I am a total failure as a musician.

As it turned out all my students played quite well, and I’m waiting to get all the comments back later today and find out everything, but I look forward to convincing even more students to play next year and hope the same ones will do again, and by golly, the way to ruin everything is to worry about what you were supposed to be doing rather than just focus on where you are now and where you are going. I am not a failure, and just because I’m on a different path than many I went to school with…I’m not a failure. In all honesty, I’m on the same path as many others I went to school with and I don’t consider them failures ever! I think being sick for a few weeks now really started to make me feel useless, and taking cold medicine really can mess with your brain and make you forgetful.

So much of what I read about teaching is from confident people who always write as if they know everything and if you just do it their way it will work. I’m here to say that sometimes I try a million things and none of them work, and sometimes I think none of them work and suddenly something works, and sometimes I feel like I’m the worst teacher ever, and other days I think that all my students are amazing and I must be the best. But I usually feel like everybody knows more than me and I have a lot to learn…and I’d honestly rather be like me than overly confident and acting like I know everything! I’m constantly trying to improve and figure out how to do things better, and since every student is a unique individual, there are no “one-size-fits-all” solutions! Maybe in twenty years I’ll feel differently, but I’ve been teaching for 20 years already…

I think music lessons are important, I think that one on one attention for the kids can be so important, and I think that I need to remember that my students don’t have to play like child prodigies to do a great job, they just have to try to be the best version of themselves, at that time, in that room, and that is good enough. I learned a lot about myself and my teaching over the weekend, and I’m proud of all the students who participated (so so proud, for their hard work for months, for doing something that scared them—their nervous faces beforehand, the relief afterwards, the glee when they found out their scores—for doing something that scared them and finding out they could and that they were stronger for it) and we’ll be doing it again next year. Oh, and I found out that several students didn’t hear me say “the judge” and assumed there would be a panel of judges, perhaps three, I’m thinking, like American Idol or something. One said that it was much less scary than it was in her head.

It was much less scary for me too. I’m stronger for having my students play, and I think that maybe I’m doing some things right. Either way, it was all worth it—the best part so far was seeing one of my students at his lesson yesterday. I’d found out he got the highest score and when I told him, he got the biggest grin on his face, and I don’t think it went away for over 5 minutes.