It seems like we’ve been having rain, wind, and storms more often than not. But today we are supposed to have severe storms, and I guess weather forecasting has gotten better than it used to, but it’s still the midwest.

Many things are happening all at once this week: Holy Week, which means extra work services (back at it!), Festival (recordings due Thursday night), along with regular preparing for the end of the year. Louie shared with me an email he got from work about “crunch time” and how the school year follows a certain ebb and flow, and crunch time is the normal part of things…it was all both true and also felt very much “don’t worry about working 80 hours a week this is all fine.”

Nonetheless, I haven’t been too crazy busy. I’m more annoyed by my constant allergies and some personal health matters which I’m not discussing here. I’ll be happy when April 24 is behind me though, as that is the end of a lot of stresses in my personal life as well as the day of the Spring Recital for my private students. And then it’ll be nice when school ends, but I don’t want to wish my life away!

I feel like each semester goes by faster than the last, which I assume means that the next semester will be even faster and soon I’ll be retired. The downside is that I constantly feel like it’s the “end of the semester” and that we are constantly preparing for performances, when I want some time to just relax and work on technical issues my students are having. I suppose I could do less performances, but I don’t think twice a year is too many.

I keep researching parts of my upcoming trips when I have some downtime, as well as reading: I’ve started some Jo Nesbo (reading Bat) as well as waiting for the next Inspector Gamache I need from the library. I did decide to go to Austin as well: I figure I should take full advantage of opportunities and since Louie is going to be there and there’s a hotel room, I should do it. I’m just going part of the week he is gone, but it should be fun (and hot.) I wish the Norway trip were later in the summer honestly, as the summer will feel a bit of a letdown afterwards, but that’s out of my control!

I enjoyed performing on a concert on Sunday afternoon at Washington University. I only played on the first piece and then stayed for the rest of the concert with a colleague. She worried she had guilted me into staying but I said I was happy to do it, that I wanted to be the sort of person who stays when they can.

I recently saw a post online that someone made about networking and attending concerts being work and all of that, and who knows, maybe that is a thing, but I want to the be the sort of person that attends concerts for fun (I already do this) and also to support my fellow musicians, not just for networking reasons. I want people to attend my concerts, so I should do the same, and I feel like statistically if I go , then somebody else will too. That’s all. And did I mention I like music?

I’m rambling now. I blame the sneezing 🙂

Basically I came here to blog and I have little to say. Life is rather repetitious really, each day the same schedule as the week before, waking up early and working late. It’s a rather tough schedule, and I keep trying to decide how long I want to continue it, and what the tradeoffs are.

How’s your April going? Eaten any good recipes lately?

I got a comment on my blog yesterday that I moderated, because I can: I pay for the blog. Someone I didn’t know accused me of being “afraid of Trump signs.” Yes, I mentioned that there were political signs in the area and that led us to not want to spend more money.

I didn’t say what the signs were. You can assume, but you might be missing some: some signs were Trump/Pence. One was a former Trump/Pence sign with the Pence torn off (traitor to the party, right?). There were many confederate flags, and some Let’s Go Brandon signs.

I’m not afraid. But I did not start this fight. I am not the one leaving up divisive political signs or adding to them, long after an election is over. I am not the one who put politics in the middle of a pandemic of a deadly virus that killed AT LEAST 1 million Americans.

So, it boils down to, do I trust eating in a restaurant in an area with people who support an autocratic ex-president who still supports Vladimir Putin, who is currently bombing civilians, (including maternity hospitals) in a sovereign state?

No.

No I do not.

Of course it goes much further as well. I have so many friends and family members who are in the LGBTQ+ community. I know that those signs stand for taking away their rights to simply live as who they are. I know that those friends and family members would not be welcome in these areas. And I want to go places where they are welcome.

Am I afraid? No.

But I have dollars to spend, and one life to live, and what I have, at least, what I still have for now, is choice. I chose to visit an Airbnb in a rural area. I chose to visit some state run natural resources, which I support highly. I chose not to spend any additional money in the neighboring communities, for a variety of reasons, one of which was that we had such a lovely view from our room and had brought food to cook.

Are there lovely people in these places, just as there are lovely people everywhere? I am certain. There are lovely and not lovely people who live everywhere.

You may not know this about me, but I grew up in a small town in South Carolina. I grew up surrounded by confederate flags and Reagan supporters. Don’t assume you know me because I live in a city now.

But, as a traveler, as a human, I have choices. I’m debating visiting Austin with Louie in the summer (he has another conference there), and I think, hmm, do I want to go to Texas? All the guns, all the anti-trans legislature, etc. Plus the heat (my god, the heat!) in June will be annoying. But there are some really interesting looking things there, and I know Austin (and Texas) are full of wonderful people trying to do wonderful things for the world. And Louie has a place to stay because of the conference, so it’s just the cost of the plane ticket and any missed work (which, it’s summer, if I can’t be more flexible in the summer when can I be?)

All this to say: I welcome comments from all readers, but I reserve the right to moderate in any way I see fit, especially for personal attacks.

So many 2’s in today’s date, right?

Anyway, just a quick pop in to tell you how my week is going so far.

Honestly, last week was a really difficult week. My job was difficult, I was failing at everything, my students were doing poorly and it was all my fault, my class was the worse in the group rehearsals, mine had the worst posture, etc, etc. I had some days where I just broke down. I was tired and fantasized about quitting my early morning job at the end of the school year…or just never going back again even.

But I made it to the end of the week somehow, and had a nice weekend! And Monday was a holiday so I got tickets to a play on Sunday night.

I got the tickets from the St Louis Repertory Theater. I’d played a show with them a few years back, and we went to see A Christmas Carol in December, so when they sent an email offering a good deal on the latest play, I thought why not. I bought two tickets, had them held at Will Call since it was close to the date, and didn’t really pay attention beyond that.

We went to the theater at the appointed time and realized…oh so they don’t always have their shows at the same place. It was locked, no one was parking, nothing going on! I checked my email and realized, oh my gosh it’s at a different place about 14 minutes away.

Somehow we made it! We were a few minutes late, but it hadn’t started yet, and we got our tickets and got seated just in the nick of time!

The show was called Stick Fly and we really enjoyed it. It was both entertaining and thought provoking, which is the best way to be I think. I’m so glad we didn’t give up and go home, which is what we were very tempted to do after failing. The production runs through March 6 and I highly recommend it–just be sure to notice the address of the theater.

So I guess the morale is, keep on keeping on. It’ll get better. Or something.

And then this morning, I had my school job and it was fine, my students are doing a bit better, and I just need to keep at them and not let things slide, and then I went to Trader Joe’s. I got some orange sodas which I thought would be a nice weeknight treat.

As I was unloading I had the horrible thought that I had left them on the bottom of the cart. I didn’t see them anywhere, and I had almost done something like that in the past and thankfully somebody had noticed before I drove away. I thought, wow, this week is turning out just like last week, isn’t it.

But as I unpacked my bags I saw that the sodas were just in one of the bags. I hadn’t forgotten them at all!

I will take this as a sign that this week is going to be okay.

It’s been a busy weekend!

I mean, not by pre-pandemic standards. But by my new “weekends” free standards: I had a gig last night AND this afternoon.

I played with a small group at a retirement community (The Gatesworth) last night. After that Louis heated up our Valentine’s Day Dinner: it was a meal from the faculty club at Wash U, the Whittemore House. We joined the club sometime in the past year, and they’ve been doing various takeout events, where you pick up food and drinks (sometimes) and then go home and you can heat it up to eat later. The previous owner of Stellina is the chef at the Whittemore house, so the food is tasty. We had agnolotti, short ribs and root veggies, and then chocolate cake for dessert.

I had a wedding this afternoon, which was perfectly nice. I feel tired…I’ve been pretty tired this whole spring semester so far, and I suppose it’s from getting up early, working too hard, all of that. I am not quite sure what to do about it, other than trying to get to bed early. I think I am more burnt out than anything…I’m not sure if I should resign from my early morning job at the end of the school year because it’s been so exhausting doing that and teaching, or if the exhaustion is unrelated and it’s simply…exhaustion from the pandemic, the worries, the stress, all of that. I find myself unable to simply live and forget what is going out around us.

I’ve been enjoying watching the figure skating, of course, though I’m pretty upset about the fact that one of the Russian skaters was caught doping and yet is continuing to be allowed to compete, and in fact, why was competing in the first place when she had failed the drug test over a month ago? I get so angry how there are people who just keep breaking the rules and other people who never get to break even one rule without getting extremely severe consequences (thinking of the track and field athlete in the summer who got disqualified for smoking weed).

I feel like my life is just one week after another, counting down the days until? I think the winter weather is getting to me, and spending too many weekends at home without social interaction. Too much of my social life was tied up with working on the weekends, I guess. But I’m also not super comfortable with groups of people, and I’m not convinced the pandemic is quite over yet, and I still don’t want to get COVID, so I don’t know quite what to do.

This is just me with a bit of the Sunday blues, I suppose. I guess I’ll fold some laundry and read for a bit more, or something. There’s no shortage of books to read, that’s for sure!

I leave my house for my morning job around 6:35 am/6:40 am and I tell you what, 7 degrees sure is cold at that hour. That’s what I was dealing with yesterday. I came home after that, and towards mid afternoon I was feeling really cold so I turned up the heat at my house and also got into bed for a bit to try to warm up. Those were great ideas, and then I felt good enough to finish my teaching week.

I taught my morning improvisation class this morning (it’s online, though maybe someday it won’t be) and now we are planning to head out for a hike soon, after it gets just a bit warmer outside. I don’t have anything scheduled until Monday, which is fantastic.

It was a good week. Short because of MLK day, which helped, even though only two hours of work was canceled, isn’t that crazy? But I had a nice time with the students all week: holidays are fun, but it’s also nice to be in the groove of, see you next week, and the week after, and so on, and knowing that you can keep teaching them regularly and they’ll make progress (hopefully) if they are practicing.

I got asked to play a few pieces on a New Music Festival in March, and I decided to agree. It gives me a new challenge and an incentive to practice more regularly. I have already gotten into the groove now of practicing 15 to 20 minutes a day, which is way more than I’ve been doing. I have a few other things I need to learn as well, so I might end up practicing more as the next few months progress. It’s nice to have a few things on the calendar to work towards, though it’s also nice not to have too many, as teaching is pretty much all-encompassing.

I think I’ve got my college teaching schedule set and it worked out pretty well. The semester is looking good and promising. We are still up in the air on our summer plans due to factors, but I have a few things simmering, and at least one of them will work out. Next summer Louie will be done with his doctorate so we are thinking about planning a 3 to 4 week road trip then. The only thing to consider is the cats: that’s a long time for them to be on their own…we’ve done two weeks and that was long for them. But we’ll figure it out.

I still have to take down my Christmas Tree. That will get done this weekend. Or else it has to stay up all year then.