I was visiting my maternal grandparents, and I remember being in the front seat of the car with my grandpa. It was one of those large cars with a bench seat in the front, and we’d fight over who got to sit in the middle of the front. He leaned towards me with a twinkle in his eye and told me that today, December 23rd, was Christmas Eve Eve.

I’m sure he wasn’t the first to think of it, but that’s one of the memories I have of him. You know how memory works. It’s a collection of flash moments. Feelings. Images.

I feel like I spend adulthood alternating between trying to recreate the magical Christmas memories I have alternating with giving up and doing nothing. This year I went all in on décor, and the truth is: I’ve loved it. I didn’t do any real baking though, and I miss my Christmas cookie parties I threw for a few years. Maybe next year I should do more baking, and keep the decorating. I’ve also been listening to Christmas music pretty often, and I did some fun shopping. I used Etsy quite a bit, with mixed results: the products have been wonderful, but I’ve had an issue getting one thing. I think it’ll be sorted out, but not before Monday.

In any case, this has been a good Christmas season so far. It’s been a challenging year in many ways, but it’s been overall a positive year for me. I definitely feel like my social life has been missing, and that’s something I should work on in the future, but overall things have been really good. At least when I try to ignore the direction our country is going and pretend that everything is fine in that sense, which, to be fair, isn’t easy.

(The Jewel Box at Forest Park. We went on a walk this morning with a friend and her dog…which might mean I’m just worrying about things.)

How do busy people maintain friendships? Or should I not worry about it too much and just do what I can when I can? I have friends to talk to about big issues and I am happy in my romantic relationship. I just don’t really have many friends who invite me to just hang out, or have dinner on a random night, or do something like see a movie, and I suppose a lot of that is because I don’t generally have time to do any of those things…so maybe I just need to relax and accept how life is right now.  I always enjoy hanging out when people when I do, and I have many wonderful colleagues that I chat with when I see them, and maybe that’s enough for now? I’ve never been good at maintaining a large number of friendships at once, probably because I’m not a huge fan of large group activities. Sigh. I’m sure I’m not special in this regard, am I?

One more workday and then two days off! Tomorrow I am playing a variety of Christmas Eve services, and then I fly to Phoenix to spend a few days with family. I’ll be back for the New Year and then will continue to be on vacation for a bit. It’ll be nice to relax.