At least fall weather is back…the winter weather we had the other week was a false alarm, or simply foreboding, or something. I know, it’ll be back, but today I enjoyed a 3 mile run in 50 degree weather and I’ll take it! Louie and I are doing the Hot Chocolate 5k this weekend, and while I’m regretting this decision due to being sooo busy, it’s fine. I’m used to being busy, and it’ll be fun! I’m mostly stressing over packet pickup and parking at the event, and getting up so early to run. You know, the usual.

I feel like I keep going through the same patterns in my life, feeling overwhelmed, then taking time to relax, then feeling like everybody except me is doing more interesting things in their lives or work (especially work, I must admit, since as a musician and even approaching middle age I still have so much of my self-worth tied up into my worth as a violinist!). I feel like everything comes harder to me than other people, and even though I know that isn’t true, it still pulls on me. Lately I’ve been missing playing chamber music and solo stuff, and trying to figure out how to make more of that happen…the quartet is getting together for a few concerts in the spring, but I’m not overwhelmingly excited about the repertoire and yet, I’m just tired of trying to do so much. This is the hard part of being outside of an organization. Those in orchestras constantly complain about their work schedule, how they don’t have control over their musical life, etc, but gosh sometimes it’s nice to play a gig or concert where I just have to show up! It doesn’t happen often.

But eh, it’s all good. There are cycles of life, and mostly things are okay.

Funny story: I got home from a rehearsal the other night and as I was parking, I saw a chicken cross the road. Why? I don’t know. My neighbors a few doors down have chickens though, so I assumed it was one of theirs, so I parked and ran after it, knocking on their door along the way, but they didn’t seem to be home. I don’t know exactly what I thought I would do, but I did this once before and managed to chase the chicken back towards her home, so that was kind of my thought. Or maybe pick it up? In any case the chicken was definitely a bit scared of me and kept running further away, and weaving through a cast iron fence, in the yard of an apartment complex on the corner. I was running around the yard, dodging the fence, bushes, etc, and finally the chicken seemed to be pretty settled into a bush, hiding from me, and I thought, what am I doing? So I wished it good night and headed home, hoping it would be okay. I did see on Next Door (the armpit website of society, but I keep it in case Miles ever shows up) that somebody caught the chicken and took it home with them, and I responded with the information I had, so hopefully there will be or has been a happy homecoming.

I had to do a similar thing with Muriel today, as she snuck out the front door when I was bringing in groceries. This happens occasionally, and I am used to trying to thwart her, but this time she got by and ended up going further than ever, which was super stressful for me…she was in my neighbor’s front yard nibbling on some bushes and trying to stay out of my reach. I felt like a crazy person, and wondered how much of the rest of my life will be spend simply running after pets/animals who don’t want to get caught?

The impeachment trials continue. It seems ludicrous that this is somehow partisan… I know that no matter what happens, it won’t matter, and probably because something to do with Hillary Clinton’s emails. So therefore we must ignore all science telling us that manmade climate change is real and such, because of white supremacy. I think I summed it up, and if you are reading this and disagree, I don’t really care. I’m tired of it. I’m tired of hearing about people dying or avoiding the doctor for months and months because they don’t have proper health care. I think we the people can and should do better, and instead, we have people running the country who are in it for their own profits, and don’t think laws apply to them at all, and I’m just over it. I know that the “other side” will argue it’s always been happening, but I think that’s disingenuous, and even if true, (perhaps to some extent, sure, politicians are often dirty, but many of them do end up in jail when they are) why not try to break the cycle?

I can’t imagine another year of hearing about presidential races. I feel like we are all in a bad dream.

I made brownies today, with frozen cranberries from last December. I’m going to go try one now. I didn’t make them for any particular reason…I thought it would be good to use up the cranberries and the brownie mix to free up room in the freezer and shelves, so that’s a good enough reason. I have 6 students today, easy day. I’m looking forward to a fun student recital this weekend, after a long few days of work, and then I’m really looking forward to three days off over Thanksgiving! Hopefully the weather will hold up and we can get some outdoor time.