I know I shouldn’t care what other people think, but twice in the last week I’ve gotten comments about my career. Here’s how it goes: I am introduced to somebody, and they ask, what do you do for a living. I say, oh, I play violin: I teach and freelance, and then they say something along the lines of, hopefully you get your real job soon.

I remember reading once in David Leibowitz’s blog or book, can’t recall, that the French consider it rude to ask what people do for a living. Maybe we should consider that.

I definitely think it’s rude to tell me that someday my real job will come. I haven’t told any of these people that I’m looking for a different job than what I have. I don’t think they are saying it to me to be rude, but they are definitely assuming that I am not planning to teach and freelance for the rest of my life. Why no, I’m not.

I’m planning to retire and spend my days traveling, reading, taking walks, baking, and perhaps some volunteer work. Until then, I will teach and freelance, as that’s what I’ve decided I’m doing. Some days I think maybe I should do something else..maybe I should work at the IRS or become an accountant. But other days (sunny days like today), I think, well this isn’t so bad. I’m on top of my scheduling, I’ve got a pretty good relationship with most of my students and their parents, and I am currently not being too overworked. I’ve got a few fun gigs coming up, and it’s all going okay right now. I make enough to get by, and I’m doubtful that more money would bring me more happiness. I haven’t found that many of my friends who are not freelance musicians are happy every minute of their work day either, so I think that’s okay!

So here’s a thought, when you meet somebody who is a freelancer, don’t tell them one day they’ll be lucky enough to have a full time employer. They are their own boss RIGHT NOW, and it’s very possible they enjoy that immensely. What might help is supporting public policies to help them get benefits such as health care without having an employer. Help freelancers by voting for people who respect their place in society. Every violin teacher I know is super busy, yet we aren’t valued by society. Our time isn’t considered valuable until someone needs a teacher for their child, and suddenly our time is too valuable!

And don’t tell us how much a high schooler would charge to do the same thing. I charge less than I should for lessons, but trust that I am well qualified to do what I do. I also run my operation as any other small business: I pay estimated taxes, I keep detailed records, I carry liability insurance and various other insurances that I need, and I am constantly marketing myself and trying to learn more about my field and my business. I enjoy all of these things, most of the time.

I wrote on twitter than the next person who asks, I’m just going to yell “violin” at them and then dump coffee on their head. When I tell people I am a violinist, they take a breath (I can see this happen) and then they ask “Oh, are you in the symphony?” It makes me feel like I am greatly disappointing them when I say no. And sometimes I just say no. Other times I try to tell them some of the groups I play with, but normally they don’t care. When they don’t care, that’s totally fine. It’s when they tell me that hopefully soon I’ll get my real music job that I am bothered.

I feel better writing this down though. Sometimes I think I should go back to school (this is because Louie is in school still) and get a DMA or PhD in order to be able to write more. And then I remember that I am probably too busy for that.

What bothers you most about your job? Do you get ill advised comments about your job or career?