Random thoughts

Cakes and whatnot

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Spring is a busy time here in real life—before I know it another week has gone by!

Things I’ve done:

Seen the movie 12 Years a Slave (highly recommend!)

Watched Gil Shaham perform with the SLSO

Went to Jazz at the Bistro

Made a ton of meals involving meat, veggies, and not much else (Whole 30 day 29, baby! So close but yet so far…I’ve lost weight for sure, but I’m tired of being hungry and low energy all the time.)

Performed with my quartet at a Retirement Community called Friendship Village

Played a wedding and cocktail hour

Taught some students (just some, as others were on spring break)

Listened to the Trans-Siberian Orchestra music I need to memorize about a million times

Felt sorry for myself (oh that one isn’t a good thing, but it’s been happening…the good thing is that I’m realizing that a lot of things that I blamed myself for weren’t really my fault—and that I deserve nice things to happen to me—someday I’m going to write a post about this, but not right now…for now, it’s just the constant ups and downs, and knowing that things WILL get better, have gotten better, and that in the future I’m not going to be making the same mistakes.)

Worked out—getting stronger!

Took some long walks

Cleaned

Got lots of cake pictures!

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How’s your Monday going? I’m still trying to recover from this stupid cold…I keep feeling like I’ve kicked it and then I feel lousy. *sigh*

Running

St Patrick’s Day Race

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Happy St Patrick’s Day, dear readers. I’m wearing a green shirt and clover earrings. Oh, wait, let me take a quick selfie to show you.

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You’re welcome.

Saturday I ran the 5 mile race downtown for St Patrick’s Day. It’s officially called the St Patrick’s Day Parade Run.

I originally wasn’t planning to run it, but my friend April wanted somebody else to do it and I realized it did fit into my schedule, so I figured, WHY NOT…and though I had a very rough start to the morning (I’d slept very poorly due to some and lingering effects from the cold) I’m very glad I went.

We took the Metrolink downtown from April’s house and it was very convenient. For April, that is, and for me it wasn’t convenient but it was cheaper.

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The weather was phenomenal—it was cool at the start but by the end was simply gorgeous. I’m glad I wore shorts! Anyway, April and I stayed together the whole race and had some good girl chats while trying to run more than I wanted to (I was feeling pretty lousy at the beginning of the race, but I started feeling better, and by the end I felt VERY strong and capable).  It’s a fun race, over 10,000 people running, mostly wearing green, and the crowd support it great too. I highly recommend this race, honestly.

After the race we stopped for a photo op in front of Busch Stadium with one of the STL250 Birthday Cakes.

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Anyway, I had a few more pictures to share but they keep showing up upside down, and when I rotate them they get distorted…so…whatever. It is hard enough getting photos from my phone to my computer using Windows 8 and then getting them in blog posts…*sigh*

Our time wasn’t anything to write home about (1:09:38), but April was a great friend to stay with me, and I am improving, slowly but surely. I finally have confidence in my abilities again, and know that I WILL reach my physical goals 🙂 I also realized I’m happier right now that I’ve been in a long time, and that I do actually deserve this sort of happiness, and that I am so happy to be surrounded by people who feel the same way—people who love and respect me, and want the best for me.

I know I’m vague-blogging, and I apologize for that (all will be explained to an extent someday, I’m sure), but suffice it to say, this race made me feel strong, and I am happy that running and working out is making me realize I’m stronger than I thought I was.

Weight

Celebrate Fitness Bootcamp and More

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My weekend was filled with entirely too much activity. I’m still recovering. Oh, wait, that’s from the cold I had…

Anyway, despite possibly better judgment I decided to be tough and get to the Celebrate Fitness Boot Camp I’d signed up for on Saturday morning.

The event was held at Washington University’s Athletic Complex, and you can visit this link to read my preview of it. I did the Boot Camp, and it was TOUGH.

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The class was held on the football field and lasted for 90 minutes, at least half of which was the instructors telling us to run to the end zone and back and the other half was them telling us that they were from Shark Fitness and that if we wanted to be working out properly we needed to be going to their classes three times a week and doing 1500 squats a day. Or something like that. Most of the time I was just trying not to pass out, which was a direct result of a) being somewhat out of shape still, b) the silly diet of no sugar, grains, or dairy that I’m on for another two weeks and probably mostly c) having a really bad cold but feeling like I should do what I said I would do.

Anyway, after completing the class I felt wonderful and accomplished and I was glad I went. Until a few hours later when I felt really lousy: seriously tired and terrible congestion from my cold, but honestly, that could have happened either way.

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I got a goodie bag since I’d heard they were fantastic and I’m always glad for another tote bag…but the T shirts were cute and really soft and I was kind of jealous. If I do it next year, T shirt is my choice (probably they will change suppliers and have different shirts to spite me…don’t do this! I beg of you!) Though the goodie bag also included a water bottle, some coupons, free samples, and a pair of socks.

Overall it was a really well run and fun event.  I was given a free entry from my fellow blogger Katie from Mom’s Little Running Buddy but all opinions are my own. One caveat would be that the class is kind of expensive for a class, but you do get a shirt or bag, and proceeds go to charity, so you feel good about that.

This weekend I’m running the annual St Patrick’s Day race in downtown St Louis with my friend April. I’m excited because the weather looks to be AMAZING! I didn’t run last year, but I did run the two previous years. This picture is from two years ago.

How cute was I two years ago??? I was all tan and skinny and whatnot. *sigh* This is why I’m working out regularly again and why I’m on a crazy diet, so I can look more like that lady. Well, maybe minus the tan, but mostly.

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Sweet potatoes baking the the oven, beef stew (whole 30 compliant of course) in the crockpot. This is Day 17 of 30. Remember: whole 30 means no added sugar, no legumes, no dairy, no grains (no alcohol). So it’s meat, fish, eggs, sweet potatoes (no white potatoes for fairly arbitrary reason), tons of veggies, some fruit, oils and nuts for fat, and that kind of thing. Sparkling water with 100 percent pomegranate juice seems to be a nice treat, and I’m getting very used to black coffee and hot tea. It’s not so bad, especially now that I’m over my cold…and I’m more than halfway done. I plan to keep many aspects of the plan for awhile until I reach my goal weight, but don’t want to be so strict (or feel that I have to avoid social situations in order to be able to eat) and I look forward to having a few things that I’m missing, at least on occasion. The name of the game moving forward is moderation in all things…and that, readers, should help me progress along the path that I find myself. I feel good right now.

Random thoughts

Darn it I have a cold

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I went over 9 months I think, without having a serious cold. I had a few “under the weather” days and a couple minor stomach bugs, but I’m well into day two (or three) of a nasty cold, and I feel pretty generally lousy all over. I turned today into a “sick day” (I was bummed to miss a really cool violin teaching workshop and quartet rehearsal, but I’m seriously weak and need to be surrounded by massive amounts of kleenex at all times…it’s just not a pretty sight.). Of course, tonight the show must go on, so three hours of Opera it will be. I’m also hoping to rally and attend Celebrate Fitness tomorrow morning, but that might be the sun outside making me entirely too optimistic. Fingers crossed though!

I’m taking some time on the couch here (imagine me with my laptop on my lap) working on a few teaching related things and just trying not to pass out from exhaustion. I might be being a little dramatic, but I’ll tell you: showering was difficult—I’d thought it might help clear out my head—and moving around at all just isn’t much fun. Woe is me, right?

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My brain wants  all kinds of comfort foods, the sort of things I might eat when I’m sick. Mainly canned soup or cereal, neither of which I am “allowed” to have on my diet. Last night was a homemade chicken veggie soup which turned out surprisingly delicious, as best as my compromised taste buds can ascertain. Today I have had eggs for breakfast and that’s as far as I’ve gotten so far. I don’t have too much of an appetite anyway, though I’m sure I could murder a pint of ice cream…

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(I ate about three bowls of that.)

I am in a slight panic  over my (ha, surprise) lack of training for the fairly upcoming Go Half Marathon. I plan to run nonetheless, and while I haven’t been running as much as I should be, I’ve been working out much more regularly, and I figure it’ll be cathartic nonetheless. I’m not going to worry about time at all, and just enjoy being out there. I still have a few more weeks and I’ll be able to get a few short and long runs (run/walks to be fair) in and I’ll be just fine. Dropping ten or more pounds will definitely help, and I just don’t care enough. I care about getting back in shape, I care about getting my work done, and I care about having fun running, but I don’t care about sticking to a training plan that I am just not able to fit into my life at this time. And the ice and snow we’ve gotten this winter has certainly been a deterrent. Either way I’m in, I’m doing it, and I’ll finish, and that will tell me that I am still here.

Quote from Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows (p. 649 in my edition):

Luna: That’s right, Harry…come on, think of something happy…”

Harry: “Something happy?”

Luna: “We’re all still here. We’re still fighting. Come on, now…”

I often think of that quote. For me it’s not fighting as in violence,  but fighting as in just keeping going, keeping moving, keeping pushing through. When things seem hopeless or out of control, I just tell myself, I’m still here, I’m still fighting.

(And that makes me want to read Harry Potter all over again. My students are often surprised to see the entire series on my bookshelf, but I can tell you I’ve read them all several times. It’s been awhile though and it might be fun to reread them. Then again, my stack of books to read, both actual and on my kindle, is getting pretty big, so maybe I should read a few of those first before starting on any repeat reading projects. )

Deep Thoughts

Random Thoughts on Calendars

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I have a few friends who work traditional 9 to 5 style jobs. This is not to say that their hours are precisely 9 to 5, but that they basically show up early to work Monday through Friday, have their evenings and weekends free, and that is all they do. The life of a freelance musician is…somewhat different.

Not to say that many other people don’t have flexible schedules (and I should clarify that this generally means I have to be flexible to the client rather than the other way around lest you get too jealous) but that most seem to work more “traditional” hours.  A colleague the other day pointed out how “boring” it must be to have all your evenings and weekends free and constantly being in search of entertainment to quell the boredom. I’m not sure that’s the case (though thank goodness, as your search for entertainment helps make my chosen profession possible!), but what I really wanted to write about was my calendar.

As a freelancer, one of the most sacred pieces of information at my disposal is my calendar. With smart phones and online calendars, life has been greatly simplified. Before online calendars, of course, we all had to carry our calendars around and handwrite everything.  What a pain!

Lately I’ve seen a few bloggers saying they are going back to traditional style calendars for various reasons. I say, probably they aren’t freelancers trying to limit their load of what to carry (phone is already with you, why add another book, especially when you already have a bag of music, a music stand, and an instrument) or accepting a lot of email invitations to events (it’s SO easy to add events from an email directly into your google calendar!). Maybe that’s what got me thinking about my calendar. While I’m sure there are some freelancers who still write their schedules by hand, I am simply not one of them. To me that would be like consulting an atlas to figure out my route somewhere rather than finding out online.

So enlighten me, readers. What do you use to keep your schedule straight? Do those of you with “real jobs” even NEED a calendar? I suppose you still probably have meetings and appointments—do you obsess over it just like we freelancers do?

Food

Day 8 of Whole 30

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It’s been over a week of eating Whole 30 style. I feel like I’ve been eating this way forever…

I miss not thinking about food all the time, I miss having free time that isn’t dedicated to food preparation or shopping, and I miss being able to go out to eat without worrying about whether or not I’ll be able to get something compliant. I also miss feeling full for more than 30 to 60 minutes at a time (I eat until I’m full, but then it never lasts) and I miss having enough energy to run.

But my clothes feel loose, I have enough energy to get by, and it’s definitely true that I don’t feel ups and downs in my energy throughout the day. And I’ve been eating pretty darned well, actually. I’ve been eating and preparing things that I never did before, and that’s been fun.

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Homemade marinara sauce with hamburger over spaghetti squash. Which, for the record, does not taste like spaghetti or pasta at all, but is okay for eating a delicious sauce over.

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Two eggs over some fried sweet potato hash. This felt pretty decadent, and was one of the most filling meals I’ve had. I’m not entirely convinced that dicing and frying sweet potatoes is what the diet means, so it’s a once in awhile breakfast.photo 5

And a entire roast chicken over veggies. No, I did not eat the entire chicken. Yes, I wanted to. I got full pretty quickly, and then as usual…about an hour later had mild hunger which I am just getting used to. I’m ignoring what that might mean because I really don’t feel like I can eat any more at meals. No, I don’t think this diet is sustainable long term for that reason, though perhaps over the next week the somewhat constant dull hunger will start to fade away.

What else have I been up to lately? Well, like I said, mainly food prep 😉 Saturday a big storm was predicted so I took advantage of my day off to…go food shopping. Trader Joe’s was packed but I was able to get quite a few delicious foods there (I live very near a regular grocery store, so Trader Joe’s is a once in awhile trip). Most of the rest of the day was spent preparing and eating food.

Sunday was a bit of a snow day. I was supposed to have a church gig followed by a double opera rehearsal, but my church gig got rescheduled for another day and the second opera rehearsal got canceled due to the weather (which didn’t end up being that bad, but I think for some folks who live further away it was still a wise decision.) I ended up watching some TV (currently working my way through Sons of Anarchy) and going to bed EARLY. Today I did an upper body workout at the gym and soon have teaching.

I’m looking forward to this week. Quartet and opera rehearsals, a workshop on Friday for violin teachers, and then Saturday I have BOOT CAMP at Celebrate Fitness! It should be a good week of eating (ha), practicing, playing violin, and hopefully I can knock off a bunch of items on my to-do list to. And do some running…hopefully…if I feel like I have the energy. Any suggestions for that, people? Last week I felt like if I did too much cardio (i.e. 10 minutes) I would pass out so I was taking it easy. I might have to start ignoring the recommendations for pre workout and start eating more fruit, I’m thinking?

thoughts about violin, teaching, running, life.