The Shaved Duck and Helicopter Parenting

I was teaching tonight and wasn’t going to get home until 9:30 or 10:00.  I was (not really) looking forward to a salad/sandwich dinner (though we recently got a panini press and that has been QUITE delightful.)  I texted Chris and asked where he was going for dinner with our friend Kyle—he had a little chamber music rehearsal and they were going out for dinner afterwards.  He said, The Shaved Duck.  Which is somewhere we had been talking about going…so I jokingly said, well, bring something home for me! 

He did!  Pulled beef brisket sandwich with a side of green bean casserole.  I fell in love all over again 😉

It was delicious, and I can’t wait to go eat at the restaurant next time.  Takeout is tasty, but most food tastes better in the restaurant, I think.

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I listened to an interesting show on the way home (NPR) about "French" parenting versus "American" parenting.  I’m always interested in that sort of thing.  I think it’s a bit ridiculous to characterize different countries in that way (generalize much?) but I do get to observe a lot of parenting styles in my teaching.  My biggest pet peeve is when parents let their children quit violin lessons after a few bad lessons or during a busy month.  It’s one thing if the child has been dreading violin lessons for months or most of a semester (or years) but some of my best students have gone through short periods of time where they hate me, their parents, the violin, you name it.  Part of parenting (in my opinion, and don’t shoot me, I’m not a parent, but I do deal with children a lot!) is teaching them NOT to give up just when something gets difficult.  If you quit your violin lessons when a piece becomes challenging, or when you are having a bit less fun (again, usually due to a difficulty or frustration) how will you deal with anything else in life? 

See, there I go, on my soapbox.  If I have a child of my own I’m sure things will be different (just like they are now that I’m married…oh wait…) but you can guarantee I won’t be letting my child quit something just because it got challenging.  And your child isn’t your best friend…and your mom isn’t your best friend either, she’s your mom.  if your mom is your best friend, you really need work on some issues!  Okay, the show wasn’t even about that, but I just started thinking about some people I know and other people and one thing led to another in my mind…ultimately I start thinking about Gilmore Girls and how often Lorelei and Rory spoke and how ridiculous their eating habits are for how skinny they are…but suffice it to say I firmly believe a parent’s job is to raise the child to be their own person as an adult so that they can make decisions on their own and function in society. 

*delicately steps off soapbox*

*dusts self off*

Anybody still reading?  I guess the program touched a nerve!  I’m sure you’re all just happy to be reading a non-wedding recap blog post, right?  Even though it’s an angry tirade against helicopter parenting?

Did you guys see my new blog heading?  I wanted to include a more recent photo of me so I changed it up a bit.

Picnik collage

I’ll include a link to an article on NPR a friend just posted on facebook about helicopter parenting…http://www.npr.org/2012/02/06/146464665/helicopter-parents-hover-in-the-workplace

Thoughts?  Am I old-fashioned to think it is ridiculous for an adult to be "relying on their parents" for advice?  Am I the last of our society to be told, growing up, that "children should be seen and not heard?"  Is there a connection? 

Reception, Part 2

After the first dance, we had some "milling about" time until dinner (we had asked for approximately 30 minutes.)  I think this worked out fairly well because people were able to work up a little bit of an appetite again.  The downside was that we didn’t really have enough dancing time (we probably could have used another 30 to 60 minutes of time…) but that’s okay.  I’m over it.

For the toasts, our fathers were giving toasts and also Leslie and Dave. 

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My dad went first and set the bar.  It was hilarious.

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Chris’s dad did a wonderful job and went for something a bit more sentimental. 

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Leslie was funny as well, and very modern in her use of an iphone for her notes.

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Dave went last.  Everybody did a wonderful job—they were all hilarious.  Our friends and family are a bunch of comedians!

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After the toasts, dinner was served (well, continued to be.)

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It was all delicious!  I had the salmon.

The bread was really good too.  One time Chris had gotten up and I reached across his drink to get a piece of bread.  Dave witnessed me dropping the bread into his drink and then quickly fishing it out, right before Chris sat back down.  Oops.

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After dinner came dessert and more dancing…I will share a few more pictures with you in my next post, Reception, part 3.  After that it’ll be a quick wrap up and at some point in the near future I’ll be telling you about the honeymoon!  (By then it’ll be anniversary time, hahahahahahahahaha!)

If you’re absolutely sick of my wedding and can’t wait for me to get back to regular posts where I talk about…myself…well, that will be soon.  I promise!  (I plomise.)

Reception, Part 1

 

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Our place settings

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The cake topper

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The two different centerpieces

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The place card table

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My bouquet

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The Centennial Ballroom at Moulin

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The view from our seats.

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One of the tables

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The guest book

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The BBQ Bacon wrapped Shrimp

After the ceremony, we took some family group pictures, and then Chris and I had a few moments alone upstairs in the Lafayette Room.  We sat down, had a drink and ate some snacks.  During that time our guests were enjoying the cocktail hour and hearing some jazz piano music.  After a bit we went to join them.  Shortly thereafter, we were taken back out in order to be brought back in for introductions, cake cutting, and our first dance. 

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Introductions!  Mr. and Mrs. Chris Tantillo are in the house.  (Sorry.)

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Leslie had given us some engraved forks to use for the cake cutting, so we did.  We hadn’t thought about the cake cutting in advance at all, and as a result we were a little taken aback realizing we didn’t actually have a good idea of how to cut a piece together!  Chris thought we just had to cut one cut, and I (knew, haha) that we needed to cut the whole piece.  It was awkward holding the knife together—note to future brides and grooms:  practice this!  Get lots of cake cutting practice. 

Next came our first dance.  We also don’t really dance—only at weddings.

We chose Frank Sinatra’s "Fly Me to the Moon" for our dance.

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After we danced (which was not so bad after all—I was pretty terrified but it was just fine) we had the band invite people to join us on the dance floor.  Yes, we had a live 7 piece band called Galaxy.  They were great!

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Chris’s parents danced, and the bridesmaids and groomsmen joined us.

After the dancing finished, I grabbed Leslie and we went to switch my veil for a hairpiece (that came with my dress) and to pin up the bustle of the dress.  I was a little disappointed to realize the bustle didn’t entirely take care of the train, but at this point, oh well, who cares!  One of the flowers was coming loose too, but I figured by now most of the pictures were done so it just didn’t matter any more…

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The hairpiece

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Our place cards

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Next:  Dinner and Toasts! 

Not really funny

It’s been a crazy weather week, so mild!  I suppose the entire winter has been really mild overall.  I went for a run on Tuesday outside IN SHORTS!  And I got really hot…it was close to 70 degrees that day, I think.  It makes me nervous for the summer, does that mean it will be really hot?  Or…is this our reward for having suffered through an incredibly hot and humid summer?  Or is there no relation, or perhaps it’s all just global warming and we should really consider migrating north? 

Unfortunately my time machine is broken.  Oh well.  I’ll just do what I always do and play it by ear!

fatness

This is an old picture, but it is basically what is happening next to me on the couch right now.  Sometimes (always…)I really wish I were a cat! 

This morning I had a workout with Mike (yes, still doing that, even though I’m married now and technically could just let myself go…).  I feel like I’m finally getting back to normal as far as working out, though not quite with running—I have been having a lot of hip pain this week and have been taking it easy.  I think I tried to push myself too much.  On the scale, I’ve lost at least a pound this week which is awesome…in 6 more weeks I’ll be back to my pre-Thanksgiving weight, if I keep it up.  *that is the last time I felt really awesomely confident with my body, just fyi*

On a completely unrelated note, last night I showed Chris that I indeed had one more bag of chocolates left over from Christmas.  He claimed I had been hiding them, but I was simply using that whole "hiding in plain sight" trick where eventually Chris doesn’t notice things, they just become part of the landscape.  You know, like dirty laundry, dirty dishes, hair balls, and the cat.  Or at least that appears to be the cat’s endgame. For me, if a bag of chocolates isn’t open it is less of a temptation.  But I’ve honestly tamed my sweet tooth a bit since the holidays/wedding/honeymoon, and haven’t been craving daily fixes of sugar.  SUCCESS!  If I could just tame my "craving salty carbs" tooth that would help further…

I saw this on the internet the other day and thought of myself.

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Wedding Ceremony Time!

Note:  it’s been one month since the wedding now!  Can you believe I’m still recapping the wedding, Dad? 

After the pictures were done, we went to Moulin.  The limo…sort of bottomed out entering the parking lot.  And by bottomed out I mean it was the worst sort of screeching noise.  One of our friends witnessed us arriving and said the limo visibly bent.  Norbert turned to us all and said "there is no way that was at all okay."  Basically I think the driver may have totaled the limo.  Nonetheless he kept his cool and we all gracefully got out of the limo.  We were met by Ann and Linda of Moulin and hustled up to the Lafayette room on the second floor to have some drinks/snacks and wait for the ceremony.

Finally it was time!  They took Chris downstairs (our parents had been milling about, of course, but it was finally Go time!)

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It’s time for our wedding ceremony!  Welcome!

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Setting the stage…

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The Musicians—Jeff, Karen, Bjorn, and Shannon.  We were around the corner from them, lining up.  I was so nervous!  I remember the last piece they played before the processional was one of the Brandenburg Concertos. 

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Chris was waiting at the front.  The musicians played Panis Angelicus by Cesar Franck for the seating of the families and bridal party processional.  We had the men and women walk down together.

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My Mom and Dad.  After seating my Mom, Dad came back to meet up with me.

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Then Chris’s parents!  (My friend Emily looking on).

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Next came the bridal party—Norbert and Carrie first!

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Then John and Sarah, followed by Dave and Leslie…

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Please rise for our beautiful bride!  (Oh wait, is that me?)  The musicians switched to Edelweiss from The Sound of Music.

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Oh, yes, the crazy eyes!  Edelweiss was playing, and I was just remembering to try not to walk too fast…

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Don’t pass out, don’t pass out…

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I made it!  I was holding onto Chris’s hands like I was going to fall over a cliff otherwise.

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Lighting the memorial candle (in honor of people who are no longer with us).

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Some laughs…

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Jon did a really nice reading.

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Rings…

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You can see we are married here…

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You may now kiss the bride!

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And we were probably laughing because the quartet was playing the Medal Ceremony music from Star Wars!  It was AWESOME.  The ceremony was exactly what we wanted!  I have played for hundreds of ceremonies…and mine was the best ever.  (Completely unbiased opinion).

Oh my goodness.  We are MARRIED.  I was terrified through most of the ceremony—I was so embarrassed by much of the ceremony (I don’t like public displays of affection or personal stuff 😉 ) and so nervous for the vows (didn’t want to mess up) and when it was over, what a relief! 

Next some family pictures, and finally the celebration!  All of our hard work planning and preparing…now for the fun!

Engagement Ring

Chris told me I needed to go by the jewelry store to get my ring quasi-appraised for the insurance company.  I said, what?  Why, didn’t we just do that?  He looked at me like I was crazy and said, um, you’ve had that ring since mid-February of last year.

Oh right 🙂  I was thinking of the NEW ring.

I can’t believe that a year ago we weren’t even engaged yet!

Story of our engagement: A different sort of bling.

The question is then:  what will the next year bring?  I have some ideas, and I know some things that I want to happen, but I imagine the most interesting and fun stuff will be the stuff I haven’t thought of yet…I certainly didn’t think, one year ago, that we’d be married by now.  Isn’t that the fun of life?

This will happen in October though—I’ll be matron of honor.  I’m already hard at work brainstorming for shower ideas!

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thoughts about violin, teaching, running, life.