I have a problem.
I think I am a cookie monster!
I keep eating cookies. Every day! Stupid cookie swap party, stupid friends who make delicious cookies.
I need help!
*promises to not eat any more cookies tonight, can make no such promises about tomorrow*
HBBC: .4 mile walk: .4, workout with Mike: 4 points, 7 f/v: 1 point, total: 5.4 points
Prompt: Appreciate. What’s the one thing you have come to appreciate most in the past year? How do you express gratitude for it?
There are lots of things I appreciate. I spent the month of November writing here in my blog about them.
What have I come to appreciate most in the past year? Honestly, I think I’ve come to appreciate my own humanity most. In the sense of my life, my mortality, and my connection to other people. I appreciate the human experience we all have here on this earth.
How do I express gratitude for it? Must I ? Can I simply appreciate something? I live, therefore I am grateful.
It’s the last week until Christmas break, yippee!
And what an auspicious start—but let me back up.
Inside of St. Clare Catholic Church, where I performed with the Masterworks Chorale (is there one of those in every region?) over the weekend.
The outside of St. Mary and St. Mark’s in Madison, Illinois. I performed at a mass last weekend, on Saturday, and will perform next weekend as well. The picture doesn’t do it justice—it’s ROUND. I’ll try to get a picture next time… the people are very nice and appreciative of our music, which is always a treat.
So that was Saturday. NO WEDDINGS. WEIRD!
Sunday I woke up to about 2 inches of snow, and it was still coming down. Not a blizzard or even much of anything by Cleveland standards, but pretty bad for St. Louis. It was also really windy. I decided I just couldn’t brave the storm to go to the Metro East concert that afternoon—I was disappointed, but I knew most everybody else involved lived very nearby and I would have had close to an hour commute…just too risky with the weather, and when I was not necessary. I hope the students weren’t too disappointed I wasn’t there 
Next time, I promise! I just hate driving in the snow here…the roads are SOOO slippery. I miss Cleveland roads.
I DID brave the elements to get to the Masterworks Chorale concert but by then the roads were a bit better. I was still terrified the entire time.
Monday: One of my schools was canceled due to the weather. (VERY VERY cold as well…5 degrees when I set out in the morning) Half-snow day! Except our orchestra concert is tomorrow night—the students are ready, but I don’t know the details, and I had hoped to know by rehearsal…oh well! I guess I will find out on a “need to know” basis? I did enjoy the afternoon off, especially as I had (again) postponed my long run. 8 miles on the treadmill this afternoon was very boring.
I then taught three private students. They were all great fun! I can feel the week ticking by towards vacation…sorely needed vacation…
Wish the Good Shepherd Orchestra luck on our performance tomorrow night! We are playing Good King Wenceslas, O Come All Ye Faithful, and We Three Kings.
HBBC: Sunday: 90 cardio/strength workout: 6 points, 7 f/v: 1 point, Monday: 8 mile run: 8 points, 7 f/v: 1 points, total for both days: 16 points
Prompt: Action. When it comes to aspirations, its not about ideas. It’s about making ideas happen. What’s your next step?
Making ideas happen.
I love brainstorming. I love coming up with ideas…on any topic! But putting those ideas into play, making them happen, that is definitely not my strong suit.
In fact, I have a category here on my blog called “Grand ideas” for when I come up with…well…grand ideas!
I took a look back at the blog posts I categorized under that. Very few of the ideas came to fruition…and I’m okay with that. I would rather have a million ideas and make one (or none) of them happen than have two ideas and make both of them happen. Is that lame?
Sure, it might mean I take longer to reach my goal than somebody else. But my life will be more interesting along the way, and I’ll never be bored.
Besides, I don’t have goals. I have “grand ideas.”
Prompt: Body integration. This year, when did you feel the most integrated with your body? Did you have a moment where there wasn’t mind and body, but simply a cohesive YOU, alive and present?
This is exactly how I feel when I’m playing the violin well.
Playing the violin is both physical and mental. My mind knows what I want the sound to be and makes body makes it happen. If everything lines up, the magic happens! I play the music exactly as I imagine it to be.
What can keep this from happening for me?
Pain: from injury or overuse. I am very susceptible to injury, particularly in my wrists and joints.
Tension: due to nerves, stress, improper warm up, too cold, cramped for space, tired, sick, etc.
Not practicing enough: lack of planning, lack of inclination, lack of time, too much pain
But when these things don’t happen, when I am:
Pain-free
Relaxed
Well-prepared
I can play the performance of my life! I can love my music! I know why I have chosen my career!
Generally this happens during orchestral performances for me—I become ONE with the music, and I am absolutely swept away in the moment.
I was glancing back at my concert schedule from this year (so sparse in contrast to previous years) and thinking of concerts I LOVED playing…
The recent Chamber Project Concert definitely fit the bill in places…Werther with Winter Opera did as well…Shostakovich 10 with Columbus Symphony…I could go on.
So often, as a professional we get caught up in the details, the rehearsal schedule, our fee, the breaks, etc, and of course those things are important…but…we mustn’t lose sight of the forest for the trees!
This is exactly why I love to play the violin. To become ONE with the music. To have my mind and body absolutely integrated. This is what I wish for all of my students to feel some day!
Let me tell you a little about some of the ornaments on my Christmas tree. I have been collecting ornaments for a long time!
This was a gift from my very first violin teacher! I saved this for a long time until I had my own tree 
This one was a gift from my very first violin student (I was in high school!) She decorated it herself. I love it!
A gift from my “host mother” when I was at the National Repertory Orchestra in Breckenridge, Colorado for two summers.
Got this in the Cayman Islands on my FIRST trip there. I was fortunate enough to spend almost a week on Grand Cayman and just had to play a few orchestra rehearsals and a concert. Wish I could have done that again! But I did return to the Caymans at least.
I got this one in Mazatlan, Mexico on my second cruise (with my sister Leslie and good friend Sarah). Yes, it’s an adorable cow.
A gift from my sister Leslie. Unfortunately it sustained some damage when the tree fell over last year. I’m happy to report that so far this year the tree has remained standing!
Another gift from my sister Leslie! It’s a sock monkey.
Got this cutie at World Market this year. Or at least I think it’s cute!
I’ll do another round of ornaments soon—there are several violin ornaments from my mother along with some other sentimental type.
I am QUITE nervous about tomorrow afternoon’s concert at Metro East Lutheran School. It’s a joint concert with students from a variety of Lutheran schools in the area, and I wasn’t able to attend the rehearsal today to see how my students did and meet the other teachers (due to my other gigs…I had thought the rehearsal was in the morning), so that means that tomorrow I will be doing that. I always get nervous on behalf of my students (especially because technically they could have used more time on this music, even though they did work really hard!) plus I get nervous meeting new people. Basically I’m afraid that my students are ill-prepared and it’s my fault…you know, the usual 
(Wow, I sound like a basket case describing myself!) I didn’t hear any bad news from parents though so I’m hoping that means today went just fine. Nonetheless I’ll feel better when it’s over.
Woke up this morning at 8:15 and it was pouring rain. Figured if I was going to do a treadmill run, I’d do it on Sunday, the normal day. So I hope it doesn’t snow too much overnight to get to the gym!! There is a treadmill with my name on it wanting 8 miles…
HBBC: 20 minutes weight-lifting: 1 point, 20 minutes stretching: 1 point, total: 2 points.