Random thoughts

Letting go of anger #reverb10

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Prompt: Let Go. What (or whom) did you let go of this year? Why?

 

Anger.  I spent so much of 2009 being angry.  There was a lot to be angry about (or at least so I thought…but it WAS a rough year).  But it wasn’t making me very happy.  So I needed to let it go.  I found my release at the gym—working out and getting into great shape was SO much easier than being angry.  Yes, I still feel angry at times…but it’s much easier to deal with now. 

–I also got to let go (literally) of some extra weight I’d been carrying around for too long.  —

I wasn’t very much fun for awhile.  I was bitter that things in my life hadn’t turned out the way I wanted them to and I took this out on my friends and my boyfriend.  After I decided to let go of the anger, I was able to work towards what I wanted in my life, rather than dwelling on what had gone wrong.  I’m still doing that.

I am so much happier now!  I’m headed in a good direction for my life, and I can nip anger in the bud when it starts to boomerang. 

Weddings

Cold day!

What a cold day!  I woke up this morning and wanted to go for a short run (3 to 4 miles).  Well, firstly, my hamstrings were incredibly sore from a lot of dead lift type exercises the day before, so running was TOUGH/nearly impossible.  Secondly it was freezing…I don’t know if my long run tomorrow is going to happen.  We’ll see how my legs feel in the morning.

I played a wedding then at the Piper Palm House.  It was all decked out for Christmas and was very beautiful!  I love Christmas decorations, especially poinsettias.

poinsettiastreepiper

Even the busts were decorated!  Here’s Mozart wearing a red bow.

mozartribbon

The bridesmaids were also wearing red, all in all it was a beautiful wedding.

Next was an Advent Mass in Madison, Illinois at St. Mary’s Church.

image

It is a totally round church!  The people of the church had evidently never had strings play at their church before (had gotten a donation for this) and they were very appreciative.  We are playing there the next three weeks (well, I’m only doing two more.)  I’ll try to get a good picture of the inside before then.  It’s really unique and beautiful.

I went to dinner with my friend Melissa at Mai Lee in Brentwood.  We split a couple of appetizers (bbq pork spring rolls and papaya salad w/pork & shrimp) and I got the Sliced pork cooked w/mixed vegetables in a black bean hot pot.  I was hoping it would have crunchy rice on the sides like at Lemongrass, but it didn’t.  However, the food was still delicious!  I would definitely go back. 

Last on the menu for the day was a quick jaunt to the Royale.  I was pretty tired so we didn’t stay long.

HBBC:  3 mile run/walk :  3 points, 7 f/v: 1 point, total: 4 points

Random thoughts

Sense of wonder in my life #reverb10

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Prompt: Wonder. How did you cultivate a sense of wonder in your life this year?

Sense of wonder…that seems so…spiritual and new-agey!  Not really my thing.  I prefer much more down to earth stuff Smile

–But I agreed to do this project, write according to the prompt each day.  (Though I am afraid over the holidays I may not be able to as I will be traveling and may not have internet.  But that doesn’t mean I shouldn’t try up until then, and then make that up when I get back.)–

When I think of a sense of wonder, I think of many things…in fact, I believe I live my life with a great sense of wonder…I get excited by so many things:  bridges, weather, nature, cats, children…let me just list some specific examples that come to mind:

Bridges:

I love all the bridges around where I live (St. Louis).  We have several large rivers and bridges and rivers go hand in hand.  Whenever I drive over a bridge I get a sense of excitement, particularly crossing the Mississippi River!  In my half marathon in October we ran over a bridge over the Missouri River.  I found the view to be breathtaking!  I have contemplated running a race in Quincy, Illinois this coming May purely because the race course goes on two bridges over the Mississippi River.  I think that would be so wonderful.

–(That feels right:  wonderful:  sense of wonder.  That’s really more my style, seems more down to earth and Hannah-like versus some sort of “deep”, new-age thought process.)–

Various moments from my most recent cruise:

Looking off the balcony of my stateroom on the Carnival Legend—looking at the ocean, and nothing but the ocean until it disappears over the horizon.  Surrounded by nothing but water.

The beautiful color of the water in the Caribbean.  So blue, so beautiful. 

Mayan ruins of Xunantunich.  The only Mayan ruins I’ve seen so far in my life.  Unbelievable.

Weather:

We get some wonderful thunderstorms here, particularly in the spring.  One night the storm was particularly bad, accompanied by thunder and lightning and heavy rains and wind.  The sirens were going off…we were trying to leave to go to a friend’s house for pie…so awesome!  (We waited it out.  I don’t have a death wish.)

Cats:

I am often fascinated by my cat,  and by other cats, especially when all the cats seem to act very similarly.  Just like people, right?  Remarkable!  Plus cats are simply adorable.  Why are they adorable?  So that we will take care of them and feed them, right?  Wow!

Children:

In my line of work I see many children each week.  They are so full of curiosity and so eager to learn!  Don’t get me wrong, they are not always eager to learn the violin, but they are always eager to learn SOMETHING.  I am not a parent, but I would say that children are one of the biggest sources of a sense of wonder we adults can find.  If for no other reason than they remind us that WE used to be a children and have that same unquenchable curiosity.

 

The point is that I cultivated a sense of wonder throughout all aspects of my life in 2010.  I look forward to continuing in 2011…what new places will I visit?  What new phenomena will I observe?  What bridges will I run or drive over?  (Will I continue to eschew more spiritual and new-age ideas? Winking smile )

Random thoughts

HBBC update

There was a change in the way points are done for the HBBC.

HBBC Rules (revised)
1 Point per mile (run/walk/snowshoe)
1 Point per 3 miles biked
1 Point per 20 minutes of weight lifting, Pilates, yoga, stretching or abs
1 Point per 15 minutes of low impact cardio (i.e. aerobics, easy biking)
1 Point per 10 minutes of high impact cardio (spin, kickbox, etc)
1 Per day where you reach a minimum of 7 servings of fruits and veggies

In honor of that change, I need to give myself a few extra points:   I’m now going to consider a workout with Mike 4 points instead of 3 (seriously they are tough and should probably count as 6!).

Points added for:

11/30 : 1 point (Mike)

11/28 : 2 points (spin class)

11/24 : 1 point (Mike)

11/20:  2 points (kickboxing video)

So today’s points:  over 7 f/v servings: 1 point, 1 mile run: 1 point, 60 minute workout with Mike: 4 points, total: 6 points PLUS revised points from before: 6 points, for a total of 12 points.  Sweet!

Edited to add: HBBC:  Total from 11/7-12/3: 44.5 points

Running

Gloomy Friday

I don’t know if the sun has really come out at all today, and that makes me sleepy.  It’s a gloomy day.

I slept in a bit, and then had a workout with Mike.  Today he decided I needed to work on running better—evidently my stride is too short and thusly I have to move my legs faster.  Also I swing my arms too much, and clench my fists.  I need to relax.  He then decided to demonstrate how HE runs, setting the treadmill to 12 (yes, mph) and showing me how “easy” that is for those of us who are tall.  (It was really funny in my head, because while he was doing that there was a very slow moving elderly man walking down the treadmill aisle…and I pictured Mike sliding off the end and crashing into the poor man!  This didn’t happen, but would have if I had tried to go 12 mph on the treadmill.  I could barely do 7, make that 6.5).  Anyway, I guess it’s something I have to work on, but I like my short stride Sad smile I feel more secure in it (I am quite afraid of falling off the treadmill or stepping off to the side by accident and somehow breaking my ankle) and it doesn’t bother my hip.  Which I forgot to ask him about.  Which stopped bothered me when I started shortening my stride the other month.  Oh well.  I’ll just keep working on it.  He also suggested I should move up .1 mph on my jogging each week.  That is definitely doable…I think… ugh, I am really awful at taking criticism.

Tonight I am playing at an advent service at a Catholic Church in Manchester.  It should be easy enough—based on the music I was given it looks like one of those gigs where you just do what you can, and stuff will work out just fine.  I am hoping tonight’s service will put me in the Christmas mood—I haven’t been playing any Christmas music and as a result am not feeling the spirit yet.  I miss Sleigh Ride Sad smile

I am thinking Sunday is a good day to get a tree and decorate the house.  I also want to get my Christmas cards and start working on those.  Who wants a card?  (I will have to search for my addresses, as I do each year, though I think I have many of them saved in my gmail under the label “addresses.”)

Tomorrow I plan to try out some longer strides in my running and then have a wedding and another church service, followed by dinner with a friend (not sure where yet, but we’ll come up with something good!).  It should be a fairly relaxing weekend!

I’m glad I took this morning off.  I felt great after my workout, not completely spent.  And I know it was a good workout nonetheless.

Edited to add:  I decided to try a holiday theme for my blog!  It’s not great, but it’s not bad.  I think it’s festive at least!

Random thoughts

December 3 #reverb10

Prompt: Moment. Pick one moment during which you felt most alive this year. Describe it in vivid detail (texture, smells, voices, noises, colors).

I had many wonderful moments this year!  But when did I feel most alive?  How can I just choose one?  Several moments stick out in my head, finishing exhilarating musical performances, happy moments from my summer cruise, moments from various races I have run…

—I also recall the great feeling of being alive in failure, after not advancing in an audition.  (I prefer not to relive that moment here.) —

There were many wonderful moments from the cruise—filled with warmth, humidity, the smell of salt air, blue skies, green jungles, coconut, chocolate, and relaxation.  But I think I’ll pick the ending of my first race—after all, that race has changed the rest of my year and my plans for the next year significantly.

It was a half-marathon, my first race ever.  I had been pushed into it by my trainer, Joe (he was running it as well).  I had only been running for about three months (that’s total, in my life, minus a few months in ninth grade gym class.)  I was TERRIFIED going into the race, and was horribly unprepared to run.  But I knew I could walk, and I knew I could finish, albeit slowly.

After several hours, I was almost done!  The sun was shining, but not too bright.  The sky was clear and blue.  It had been freezing earlier in the morning but it was simply the perfect temperature now.  I was comfortably warm, but not sweaty, not so hot that I became too thirsty.  Lifting each foot felt like lifting cement lumps from the hard rock underneath.  My arms were completely exhausted from hours of swinging, but my legs were… surprisingly still okay.

I looked at my watch and realized I could finish in under three hours, which was better than I had anticipated, if I kept up the pace and ran at least 1/2 mile of the last mile. There were a lot of more spectators around, cheering and holding signs that said things like “Keep your pace.”  I pushed forward, running.  Another 1/2 mile done.  Suddenly the route turned sharply left, and a steep DOWNHILL!  I ran faster (I RAN FASTER!) and felt as if I was about to cry from happiness.  People were cheering, cheering me on (and the runners around me), ringing cowbells.  The road felt hard and rocky under my tired feet.  I pushed myself to run as fast as I could…and I finally crossed the finish line. I had completed my first half-marathon!  As I stopped running I was disoriented, hot, thirsty, hungry, sweaty, and exhausted.  People were passing out medals and water– I took them both–and walked slowly for a bit until I could find a good place to sit down.  And sit down I did, right in the grass, which was surprisingly dry, and much softer than I thought it would be.    I had never been so tired…and I felt a gigantic sense of accomplishment.  I felt like an Olympic athlete!

thoughts about violin, teaching, running, life.