Somehow the other night I ended up reading through a few months of old blog entries. It was interesting, because they were from several years ago. I wrote a lot more often, but shorter and with less pictures, and while I was basically no more neurotic than I am now, I was overly concerned with my diet and exercise…now I’m eating well and exercising but not stressing over it (it’s delightful!) and mostly trying to enjoy being active and healthy! I wrote a lot about class teaching—at the time I was teaching at a variety of different places and totally stressed out, but still creatively full of ideas, which sometimes I feel like I lack today—I have spent this week so far trying to be fully committed to my students in their lessons (I’ll explain more in a bit). And lastly, I baked more often than I do now, which I really should change…I have a few old bananas in the freezer to make banana muffins with and I should just do it.

Being fully committed to my students: after teaching a student for awhile it’s easy to get a little lazy about technique points or allowing them to get away with things that at first I might have been very picky with. Part of that is how the students SIGH and roll their eyes, or worse, get upset, when I correct them. Sometimes after correcting the same thing (i.e. bow hold issue) over and over without it really getting fixed I feel like I need to give the student a break or they might murder me. But then sometimes that break becomes more than one lesson, or two lessons, and I realize wow, I haven’t bugged so-and-so about his-or-her bowhold for a long time, and it’s really holding them back, but I’m hesitating to do it because I know that it won’t be fun for them in the moment, or even for the next few weeks or months. But in the long run, it WILL make them a better violinist. And so this week (and last, too, and for many in the future) I’ve been really dedicating lessons to do those painful things, making the students work on their difficulties, and I will continue to do so, to be a more annoying teacher than perhaps I have been.  I’ve been thinking long and hard about my long-term teaching and studio goals, and while I appreciate that most of my students enjoy their lessons and enjoy the violin, I want them to enjoy it more the way I do. The better you can play, the MORE enjoyment you get from it!

Outside of teaching, this has been an excellent week musically. My quartet is busy rehearsing Beethoven Op. 59 #1 and that’s been wonderful, and the past two evenings have been full of Bach for this weekend’s concert with Bach at the Sem. It’s so wonderful to play such beautiful music, and I love playing with the Bach group because the conductor is very demanding and insists on very particular phrasing. I enjoy the challenge! (Things to remember while teaching.)

Though…part of my ongoing blog theme is writing these posts acting like I’m opening some new door or doing something different, when I really just keep doing the same things! Life goes in phases, and when I’m in a new phase things seem fresh and new. That being said, I feel like I’ve been in a little bit of teaching rut, so I’m trying some new things to get out of it. My other thought is that I really should try to do some writing and get something else published in one of my association journals. Or work towards becoming an MTNA certified teacher? I know, I’m always pondering things to do to make myself busier and less stressed out, but I don’t want to be stagnant in my career.

I know, reading about me pondering my life goals and decisions is probably not the most interesting…but it’s interesting to me, and perhaps to you if you are a musician or simply spend too much time pondering and wonder if you are abnormal. In my opinion, you are totally normal!

I miss being in the woods. Is that weird? And honestly, my current mattress is so terrible that sleeping on a camping pad isn’t that much worse…plus I just really loved going to sleep and waking up hearing all the outdoor sounds. I don’t even recognize myself since evidently I’ve become one of those outdoorsy people, but I’m embracing it, and having gotten out of town for a bit of the weekend is definitely helping my mood, my ambition, and my mindset. (Maybe I’ve changed more in the past few years than rereading old blog posts made me realize?)

So tell me about your life. How have you changed in the past few years? Is there anything you can look at and say, yes, this has stayed the same, but this has changed? Am I asking you questions in summary as if this blog post made cohesive sense, when we all know that isn’t true? Leave your answers in the comments 😉