Tag Archives: confidence

Did you say something, Susan?

I’m currently reading a book by that title. The author is Paulette Dale. I’m not generally one for “self-help” books, but this book is written to help women gain confidence with assertive communication. I am fairly assertive, but sometimes I find myself agreeing to things or letting people get away with rude behavior and then later kicking myself. The author gives advice on how to deal with various situations and people, and how to assert yourself without being rude or pushy. I like to be agreeable and generally consider myself to be a nice person, but of course that leaves me open to getting walked on. I also sometimes have trouble asking for what I want or need, or at least without using a lot of unnecessary apologies. I find in my life that men generally just ask for what they want and get it, and women beat around the bush, hemming and hawing, and then complain when we don’t get what we want.

I’ve gotten better at asking for money and telling people what I charge for things (lessons, weddings, etc), though I still feel apologetic about it. I shouldn’t, I know, and I also know that my rates are really too low for what my expertise is, but I am working on stating the rate without using a question or being apologetic.

Unrelated:
I love coming back from Suzuki camp and then teaching…it’s so inspiring! I have been having the BEST time with my students as of late and really trying to incorporate some new ideas into the lessons. The time really flies by–*starts saving to go again next year*

I have confidence

Here I sit on a Friday night, relaxing in my living room after a long week, looking forward to several special events this weekend in addition to some more hard work, and unable to actually see past this Monday (I never talk about some things until after they happen, but my close friends and family know the deal!). Today was about confidence. I’m ready, I’m prepared, I’ve worked really hard…and I need to tell myself that. (and goshdarnit, people like me?). Since moving to St. Louis, I’ve had so many confidence issues–I have felt like what I had to offer wasn’t good enough, and I have been doubting myself. What I really need to do is go out there and tell or show people what is awesome about me (and my violin-ing, naturalmente), and to do that in a way that they just can’t NOT understand. So that’s my plan. We’ll see how it goes. In a nutshell, I am great, I play in tune, I have fantastic rhythm, and you WILL listen to me!

*hums “I have confidence” from The Sound of Music*