I guess it’s almost fall now. It seems like summer was a long time ago, yet it’s not quite fall, so that doesn’t even make sense.

This week was a busy one. I felt like many of my students were tired and grumpy and that made my job a bit harder and now I’m tired (and a bit grumpy too, to be honest.) We are in the full swing of things and worried about preparing for things like the Arch Cup and various recitals, so that means I have to bug people about practicing (gosh they hate that the most, can’t they just be GOOD at violin) and that means more grumpiness.

I was reading something the other day complaining about people using the phrase “adulting” and how it’s a way of avoiding responsibility. I might disagree. It’s a way of trying to feel like an adult: when we were kids we thought adults knew everything! And now as adults, it often (even now) still feels like we are acting, and doing things like paying bills, going to the BMV, taking care of insurance and banking things, etc., feels like acting and like playing a part. At least to me! Maybe our parents (and I speak to all of you) actually felt like adults, but maybe they also just felt like they were making it up as they went along and that they were pretending to be real adults, perhaps unlike those other people. Hence, adulting. Also it encompasses all those annoying tasks you never knew existed when you were a kid…we thought adulthood was ice cream for breakfast and getting to control the remote, and while it IS also those things, it’s mostly paying taxes, comparing insurance rates, meal planning, and vacuuming.

I often go through the week thinking, oh, I should blog about this or that. Or, I should start a podcast! There are a lot of people doing podcasts, or mini blogs about how to have success as a freelance musician. I often wonder…1) should I do this or 2) are they really giving any helpful information. On the one hand, I often feel like I have no idea what I’m doing, I’m a failure, and I’ve done everything wrong…alternately I am fairly successful and blessed (#blessed) in my career and I’ve done a lot of things well and been pretty lucky. The truth is likely somewhere in the middle and that I would have some valuable information to give to those just starting out, but I’m not sure that my life looks like the picture of success those just starting out want to see. I live in a modest house in a modest neighborhood. I drive a modest car. I work a lot. Most of the work I do has fairly low visibility, and isn’t always as musical satisfying as I would have thought when I was younger, but I do enjoy many of my colleagues, and many of my students. I don’t travel the country or the world playing music, I don’t have students winning competitions…but I do travel in my own vacations, and I have students doing really cool stuff, not always in music, but I feel honored that I get to spend time with some of these cool people. But it’s not the sort of thing that gets you written up in alumni magazines or on podcasts about “success in the music world.” It’s just in the ditch daily work like many people do all the time.

There’s nothing glamorous about my life, generally, and I just work a lot of hours. Maybe that’s the true lesson I have to offer: that a musician can just work and make a living, and not everybody will become famous, but it doesn’t mean that a life in music isn’t possible?

Deep Friday morning thoughts Okay, I’m off to teach 3 students at the college, then back for 4 more (and 2 are already done for today) so…it’s a normal day.