I don’t think my title is totally grammatically correct…

I texted April earlier today that I feel like all I do is work. This month has been a lot of work, and running, and some hanging out with Louie, but mostly we just watch TV because we are too exhausted to do anything else, or it’s just too late anyway. I don’t even feel like I’m that busy, except when I’m trying to figure out when to get things done. I’m used to teaching 38 students and practicing 1-3 hours a day, and running, and doing mostly everything around the house because Louie is too busy (hopefully that is changing soon because I don’t actually do everything so lots of things aren’t getting done.)

But! So, I went for a run this morning, (20 minutes without walking) and what is with the weather? It’s still summer outside—it was 80 degrees by midday. Is this the future? Global warming? I don’t really care for it. I’m ready for those cooler temperatures to stay for awhile. I bought new purple running leggings that I really want to wear, but I can’t wear pants to exercise unless it’s near or below freezing.

For my opera class (taking a class at EdX on opera) I just listened to the recording of Ave Maria done by Alessandro Moreschi, a castrati born in 1858 and who made the recording in 1903. It made me sad on so many levels. What people did in order to make their voices like that. And then thinking about everybody who made the recording, and how they are all long dead…and what will happen to all of our videos and recordings from now? And that it was socially acceptable to have castrati, and now it absolutely isn’t, and that you can’t do that to a child who can’t make that decision…it’s fascinating, but tragic really. And who had the idea first, to do that to a person in order to keep their voice from changing??

I got to see my brother-in-law, Peter, this week. He was in town for a “job interview” (he’s a musician as well, so it was an audition, but it’s the same idea, only with more work, more money paid out of pocket, and well, more personal devastation afterwards.) I’m really looking forward to visiting Phoenix in a few weeks and seeing the whole family…my niece just had her first birthday. She’s getting so old, soon she will be a real person!

I’ve been battling a cold all week. I feel mostly okay, except I’ve got a slight cough, congestion, and just TIRED. I’ve been trying to rest but it’s hard, and I haven’t wanted to miss any paid work so I’ve been forging ahead. I do feel like this evening I’m starting to feel more like myself, but (sigh) between Louie and I we’ve been sick for nearly two weeks and I’m pretty much over it. I want to be back to normal and be able to sleep on my side or even better, my stomach! (I can’t breathe well enough yet, so it’s been back sleeping for DAYS.)

I helped out at a nearby high school with a little after school “audition prep”. I was really doing a favor for Eliana, but I had a great time. I’m thinking maybe that’s how I can “give back.” I always feel like I need to be volunteering, since that’s what people do, but I realized today that the best use of my skills would be to volunteer and occasionally help with a sectional or something for a school. There are plenty of benefits for me too, of course, from networking and recruiting, to simply feeling like I have skills to offer that are top of the line and invaluable…not second rate, not “not in the symphony” or “following direction from an orchestra director” but teaching the way I know how and teaching the students to be their best selves. I know I can’t let other people’s opinions bother me, but it’s just hard when you don’t feel respected and appreciated. Today I feel like I AM respected and appreciated.

And on that note. Dinner time! Tonight is a bag salad from Schnuck’s, roasted yellow squash with parmesan, and mushroom ravioli from Trader Joe’s. Yummy!