5 reasons I hate my trainer

I had my first solo session with Mike (my trainer) yesterday in well, about 1 1/2 weeks.  It was fine.  I told him I felt like all my muscle had turned to fat and I was starting over.  He laughed and said it would take longer than a week off to do that.  He asked if I had gained weight.  I told him I hadn’t been crazy enough to step on the scale lately!

Sometimes I complain to my friends about ridiculous things that he says or does.  I’ve decided it would be fun to list some of them here.


5 reasons I hate my trainer (you all know I’m kidding and that he is actually not-so-secretly my hero, but for title purposes I’m going with it.)

1.  He ran 21 miles on Sunday and complained that it took FOREVER.  Aka around 2 1/2 hours.  You know, less time than it takes me to run a half-marathon. 

2.  I mentioned I had a friend who finished an Ironman on Sunday and he asked if he was in good shape.  I was like, really?  He just finished an Ironman.  Mike continued to wait for my answer.  To be fair, he asked the same question about my dad when I told him my dad was riding his bike across the country.  No, he’s totally fat and has never ridden a bike before!

3.  He asked if I had run already that day.  Or was I planning to run afterwards.  As if I didn’t already feel bad enough about not having run in a long time. In fact, he ALWAYS asks whether or not I ran already or am planning to run afterwards.  It makes me feel truly lazy when I don’t.  Even though I just did an hour workout!  WHAT SATISFIES YOU MIKE? NOT ALL OF US CAN SPEND ALL DAY WORKING OUT!

4.  He once mentioned wanting to lose ten pounds in a week to improve his race time.  I asked if that would be difficult and he said, no, I usually have to eat so much to maintain my weight it will be pretty easy. 

5.  The above picture was in a race.  That he came in second.  And still managed to mug for the camera in a ridiculous manner.

3 thoughts on “5 reasons I hate my trainer”

  1. I’ve gotta admit, after reading that last statement, I kinda hate your trainer, too. But in that “envious hatred” that is normally reserved for that girl in the workout class who’s kicking so high you think she might hit her own face and yet, her hair is rod-straight and beautiful. Then, when you talk to her at the water fountain, hoping she’s a classless jezebel, she’s so nice and asks you if you know a good recipe for wilted spinach to go with salmon.

    You know, that hate.

  2. #4 makes me hate him, too!

    and #2 makes me laugh… I know people like that, who will be like, “oh, your friend ran a marathon? is she in good shape?” and I always wonder, is this a rhetorical question or are you the sort of person who could run a marathon without training for it and therefore assume someone doesn’t have to be in good shape to run a marathon? wth??

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