Déjà vu all over again

Well, things didn’t turn out in our favor today.  They could have been worse, but (seemingly as usual for the past decade) life will continue on a temporary part time basis.  Suffice it to say (for those of you not “in the know”) that being a musician is a tough job and auditions are the devil. 

What next?  We shall see.  Some things will become clearer over the next month, yet, there are a few auditions over the summer that could change everything.  I had hoped for more certainty in my life, but I suppose life is always uncertain anyway!  But how will this affect wedding plans?  Do we continue to wait to plan?  How can you plan a wedding without knowing where you will live?  How can you plan ANYTHING? 

What I do is, I pretend.  I pretend nothing changes.  I plan for the fall (and I do have plans) and you plan for things, and then plans change.  A few years ago some of my friends were overwhelmed by not knowing what would happen after college.  My advice was to look at the unknown as a grand adventure, something to be looked forward to rather than worried about.  Maybe I should take my own advice!

It was very hard to move to St Louis.  The decision was easy, I wanted to move with Chris and I was ready for a new adventure.  But it was hard.  I didn’t know people, I didn’t have any work.  I gradually met people, made friends, got job offers (though primarily in teaching rather than performing).  And now I am pretty happy with many aspects of my life.  But, do I really want to live here the rest of my life?  If we lived elsewhere, maybe I’d be able to perform more. 

I do enjoy teaching, but I prefer performing.  And ideally I would do both.  No offense to ANY of my students—it’s just that I never intended to be a full-time teacher.  I always want to be a teacher though.

And maybe we’ll end up here after all, but I’ll just consider this the grand adventure of life.  I have Chris (he has me!), I have my cat, and I have all my work experience to draw on.  I’ve led a fairly charmed life so far, why not presume that will continue on? 


I think I’ll take this advice! 

Okay, less serious.  Last weekend remember the boot camp I did with Jen?  This is a picture off their facebook.


Can you pick me out? 

Why couldn’t THAT have been the day of the Half?  Seriously.  It was the best weather ever for being active outside. 

Okay, I’m off to do other things today—I had to take off teaching for personal reasons.  I’ll be back and better than ever tomorrow.

3 thoughts on “Déjà vu all over again”

  1. Oh, I’m sorry. The grand adventure advice was good, but that doesn’t mean it’s easy to be in the middle of. Hope a few things can look a little more solid for you soon.

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