What a week it has been. Thursday I tested positive for COVID (symptoms, sore throat, congestion, chills) and then I spent some time telling various contractors for weekend gigs and that was a whole thing. I was really quite disappointed about missing stuff, but that’s the way of it, right?

So then I did some online teaching, not a lot, which was good for a few days because I definitely had two days of feeling quite lousy. But now I’m feeling much better but possibly still contagious, as I’m still congested. I haven’t taken a new test yet but might today.

It’s been a lot. This whole “living through an administrative coup” is tough, and takes a lot of emotional bandwidth. And today they are talking about how judge’s can’t tell people what to do, so I guess we know what that’s all about.

We are pretty stressed in the house, worrying about what these cuts to the NIH and NSF will do to Wash U and Louie’s job and our health insurance, but we also don’t want to let them win, so it’s a lot. A LOT. I left a whole bunch of voicemails on my senator’s voicemail boxes last night telling them how I felt about them ending cancer research, and I suggest you do to. If you don’t think this will decimate medical research, you are wrong.

My quartet played a concert at the Kemper Art Museum last week–isn’t that a fantastic backdrop? Also, I believe it was made with legos, if I’m remembering correctly. (The brain fog is real!)

We had a nice crowd and had a fantastic time. We played a piece by a fairly unknown composer named Maddalena Laura Sirmen and Debussy’s String Quartet. Side note: when I was a girl I was told that we didn’t play music by women because women didn’t write music that was any good. I have since learned that of course that wasn’t true at all. And IN REAL TIME I am seeing how the men of the current regime are making people cover up evidence of women and people of color achieving greatness…if that isn’t a true lesson as to how much women and people of color have truly accomplished, yet these white men are so fragile that they can’t handle it…anyway, the piece by Sirmen was lovely and we plan to play more of her quartets. And of course Debussy was lovely as well, because women can write music and men can write music, and neither need to compete with one another.

While I was sick, which I arguably still am, I spent a lot of time lying in bed reading and petting these cats. I also spent too much time doomscrolling.

Things to do: make sure you are calling your reps. Yes, they may not care, but you may also give them strength to do the right thing, who knows. Protest if you can. Do nice things for others. And be sure to take time for yourself as well: do not let them destroy your mental health. They love making you upset! We can still have joy through our troubles.

Things nationally are bad (and internationally), but I figured, I should pop on and say hello on this sunny Monday.

Louie and I have attended quite a few events in the past few weeks: we saw two plays, one at the St Louis Repertory Theatre–Athena, and another at the Marcelle this past weekend by the Upstream Theatre, Pictures from a Revolution. Both were terrific.

We saw the symphony play with James Ehnes, and we saw two Great Artists Series concerts at Wash U: Emmanuel Pahud with Alessio Bax, and last night, Stephen Hough.

We also went for a hike one day, and I went to a needle felting class and felted a little bear.

Teaching has been good, but busy. And this week I have two performances and three rehearsals, so there’s a lot going on.

The cats enjoy the cold weather because it means cuddles and lots of radiator time. It’s been a bit warmer the past few days and I think they must be confused! “Why aren’t these hot metal chairs hotter?”

Muriel just does what she wants, and I’m so jealous.

Seen at a church near our house. We walked up to the Loop for dinner on Saturday night, Thai food at Fork and Stix, so yummy!

Anyway, that’s the quick rundown on me. Mentally, not too stressed, but I have moments of sheer panic and worry: Louie and I waffle between whether we need to get OUT and what that would mean, or whether we need to just take some deep breathes. I’m heartened by seeing protests, and I find that contacting my (useless, but still) senators and representative helps my mental state. Do what you have to do, but don’t give up.

And go see a play! We really have been enjoying it!

I have chosen to focus on my world. Last time, I spent 4 years being stressed out and horrified…this time I plan to keep an eye on the news (which is already both horrifying and exactly what we all thought would happen even as others, including many major media outlets, told us we were fearmongering and overreacting…but I digress…though at least there is the feeling of, yes, I was correct, I was not overreacting…) WHILE focusing on my personal world. Like, how would we be living if there weren’t news?

Of course, this makes me feel guilty that I do have such an insular and privileged life that if I ignore things I can mostly just live my life (for now!) while being concerned for many things. Because living my personal past reproductive age life is easy, but many of my friends are women of child-bearing years or before, many are on the ACA, many are lgbtqia+, many are immigrants…not to mention all the destruction from the fires in CA and how inadequate the federal government response to the next disaster is likely to be.

Focusing on what is right here: teaching started up last week and OH MY GOD IT IS SO COLD OUTSIDE–my phone says it is currently -1 degrees and for my international readers, that’s FAHRENHEIT. I would say I am grateful that I don’t have to go outside today and my students come to me, but I really need to go grocery shopping, ha! I’m grateful I have a giant purple winter coat that keeps me quite warm on days like today, and I’m grateful for my seat heaters. And my amazing radiant heat in the house: radiators are seriously where it’s at and we feel warm and cozy here.

Stay warm and stay informed, but stay calm and collected. We won’t let them ruin our lives: they love “triggering the libs” so the important thing to do is not be “triggered” but that doesn’t mean what they are doing isn’t also real. Gosh, it’s so awful and complicated, isn’t it? How sad that making other people upset is such a main priority! The thing I try to remind myself is that mostly they just want money and power, and again, how sad is that? It really shows me how glad I am about the choices I’ve made in my life about what’s important to me.