It’s lovely outside today, or that is, it looks like it. 52 degrees, mostly cloudy, high of 58. We are planning to go for a hike and perhaps do some yardwork (I think yes, but even though rain is not predicted I still wonder if it might rain.)
This week went by quickly. It had some good, some bad. I had to miss my Friday morning class because I wasn’t feeling well and had been up a lot the night before. I rarely miss last minute, so while I felt bad for it, I also knew I needed to stay home longer. I was feeling better by Friday evening, thankfully, as I had to perform on a concert at Wash U. It was just one piece with flute and piano, and we did well.
Yesterday was a busy day of gigs! Two weddings plus a church service (yes, on a Saturday.) I had been hoping to observe the partial eclipse but we had an overcast day and had no luck with that. It was fun to see pictures of the eclipse from friends and family in Arizona.
My morning church service was a Scottish themed one.
I have several students doing the Arch Cup today, so we’ve been working hard getting ready for that. They will be awesome I’m sure! (They have to play a piece from memory for a judge and receive a score based on their performance and get comments on what they did well and what they can improve upon.) Three weeks from today is our fall recital so that will be the focus going forward. I feel like my students are doing well this fall and so far I am doing well with pacing and making sure they are learning the skills they should be learning. Hopefully we can keep it up!
I’m making a casserole for a friend later (to drop off for her tomorrow) and doing laundry. This house is somehow easier to stay on top of, maybe it’s the fact that there is actually space for our things, or having a fresh start, or whatever, but I don’t have those feelings of constantly needing to declutter that I did in the old house.
Okay, truthfully it may also be because we did so much decluttering: we didn’t fill this house with a bunch of stuff we didn’t want! Also there is way more storage, which is great. But basically it stays clean and neat enough with much less effort, which is calming and makes me feel so lucky to live here.
You can bet Miles never takes it for granted.
I honestly sometimes just wake up and go, wow, I love my house, and start thinking of that song from the Sound of Music about how somewhere in my youth of childhood I must have done something good. I realize that’s not about a house, but is about love, but technically the two go hand in hand for me, and I want to remember how lucky I am. I think it’s easy to forget and start to take too much for granted, and I don’t want to do that.
This week is easier than some. It’s the end of the grading period at my school job, so we have off Friday and then the following Monday. So while I’ll have to do grades, I’ll have those two mornings off (well, the early morning). And then Friday is my niece’s birthday and also Louie’s mom’s birthday, so we are going out to dinner. Unfortunately my niece lives in Arizona, so I can’t celebrate with her, but I sent some books as a gift which she will hopefully enjoy.
What’s going on in your world? Are you getting fall weather finally as well?
We had another weekend hosting house guests and it went very well.
Louie had gotten his PhD back in August and then participated in a recognition ceremony in December, but he hadn’t gotten to do the “hooding”, where his adviser puts his hood on. He had some family that wanted to attend the May ceremony as well, so it was on.
People arrived on Friday, and came over to the house. Saturday was spent hanging out and prepping things for Sunday, when we were hosting everybody for a dinner. Saturday night we headed over to Louie’s mom’s house for a party.
That’s where I ran into trouble. There had been a big storm, and unbeknownst to me the sidewalks were very muddy. I ended up slipping in the mud…slowly…one leg went straight forward and the other bent off to the side. At first I thought I was okay except super muddy, but by evening my knee was hurting quite a lot.
I ended up missing the actual graduation ceremony and watching it online instead.
I had trouble walking, but my knee never swelled up or anything, so I was hopeful it would be getting better on its own. Resting that day seemed to help a lot as it is definitely better but still with twinges here and there (not the knee, but the side of the knee). Hopefully it won’t negatively affect our trip too much as we plan to do a lot of walking and hiking…
When Louie’s name was called out the place erupted in cheers. Many of the graduating students have taken classes with him, so they cheered him and even stood up! It was very moving to hear. You might be able to see the videos on my Instagram. you
In any case, we managed to host a bunch of people for dinner. We had planned on using the grill but nature has its own plans and there was another huge storm and rain so we all sat around the table and cooked on the stovetop. It worked just fine.
We had Louie’s parents and stepparents, his brothers, his in-laws and me. It was a good time!
Monday morning I had my last class at my school job, and Louie took some people to the airport. I’ve been finishing up teaching, recuperating from my silly knee injury, doing grades (done!) and finishing up my summer teaching schedule. It’s been really nice sleeping in–I got up at 8 am this morning and it was so ridiculous and decadent.
We finished watching Jury Duty–I loved it, and highly recommend you watch it, so funny! We’ve been watching The Sinner lately, which is pretty good. We accidentally watched the last season first, which mostly worked but did spoil a few things, so don’t do that if you can avoid it. I have been reading some good books lately, and especially enjoyed “Cutting for Stone” by Araham Verghese and “Happy Place” by Emily Henry (though it was fairly predictable, still very fun to read). I’ve been reading a bunch of cozy mysteries by Lynn Cahoon as well.
I was happy when people seemed to think we had really done a lot with the house so far. It’s been really fun getting to show the place off (a feeling I am quite unfamiliar with!) and I am tickled and proud when people compliment my decorating choices. We still have things to do, the shelves, the walls, the kitchen, and the sunroom, but we’ve done a lot and are really happy with how the places looks and feels. We are excited to host more people this summer (both my sisters) and look forward to having this house for a long time.
Louie is glad to be done with graduation and the semester as well. I couldn’t’ be more proud of him!
I mentioned I was having surgery, so I thought I’d check in and tell you a little about how it’s been going.
I think there are moments in your life, little moments, that change you all the time. And then there are moments in your life, big moments, that you know you will never be the same after. This fits into the latter. I’d had some medical procedures, but this one has changed me forever. And I don’t just mean physically, but with everything.
How do I mean? Okay, so without specifically putting my entire medical history onto the internet, I will say I had laparoscopic surgery on some issues with my lower abdomen. It was what needed to happen to resolve some issues I’d been having. I knew back in May that I would be having this surgery, so it was scheduled for several months.
I was so stressed about it. I pretended I wasn’t, and put on a good face for everybody, but I was. I was scared of the pain. I was, well, afraid of my own mortality, because I thought, this is the first physical thing that I have had that is truly irreversible, I’m getting old, nothing will ever be the same again, what if I never wake up from surgery even, those sorts of thoughts. And I was scared of the pain, that it would hurt and how I would deal with that.
Muriel never lets things bother her. Not actually true, as evidenced by her anti-vet behavior, but she certainly knows how to relax.
I realized, and this is stupid of me for realizing so late, that other people likely feel exactly like this going into surgery. How easy it is for us to compare our insides to other people’s outsides! How many times did I tell people good luck on their surgery and remind them of how successful it would be and that they had nothing to worry about? How likely it is that on the inside they were also terrified?
I had been so stressed that there were a couple of late night moments over the summer where I had a quasi panic attack, started crying and hyperventilating, that sort of thing. I just couldn’t imagine it. One of my coping mechanisms for life is visualizing outcomes, and for this I didn’t have enough to compare it too.
Luckily I had already been to the procedure center however, for an earlier procedure, and I did know what it would be like going under anesthesia, it was just the afterwards, and staying in the hospital, and being in pain that I had trouble with. And feeling like this was a decision I made, (the right decision, I believe) but still, I was doing something for an issue that wasn’t even causing me any obvious trouble.
As the time got closer, it became harder and harder to think or talk about, and the days just ticked down. My sister Leslie visited the two nights leading up to surgery as she was en route from her summer workplace to her home the rest of the year. It was a nice distraction. I had to drink a bunch of ensure drinks before the surgery, and wash with special soap.
Leslie’s cat Albergo enjoying my teaching chair.
Louie and I got up early a week ago, and arrived at St Clare Hospital by 5:30 am. Things got moving from there, checking in, paying, getting into my gown, getting my IV placed on my arm, etc. I was tired and stressed but also just ready to be done. The anesthesiologist came in to tell me what they would be doing, my doctor/surgeon came by (she was ready early, but we didn’t get started early), a bunch of other people stopped by, and then I was saying bye to Louie and they took me down the hallway to the surgery room. The people taking me (I don’t know if they were nurses, doctors, orderlies, whatever, you see so many different people) were joking amongst themselves about driving the stretcher, and seemed to enjoy their jobs. I imagine the sedation was already starting to kick in, but it was funny observing how my stretcher kept gaining people walking with us, from 2 people to 4 or 5 people. And then we stopped and I helped move myself from the stretcher to the operating table, and that’s all I remember of that.
I woke up in the recovery room with a nurse by me who I had met before. I was in pain, I felt cramping, pain, and also an intense feeling of having to urinate. She told me I shouldn’t have to but I insisted I did (I did) and I asked for more pain meds and asked how it went. She said it went very well, just as planned. I remember going in and out of sleeping there, and feeling like the pain was worst than I had imagined and wondering what on earth the anesthesiologist had meant about how they would make sure I was comfortable. I will say this: though I was able to sleep off and on, I was in no way comfortable. I don’t know if that is normal for surgery, but I was in quite a lot of pain for the rest of the day, and always wanted more medicine than they were willing to give me.
After awhile they took me up to my private room for the rest of the day and overnight. Louie was already there, and I was situated on the bed. I was more alert (likely not too much) but I wasn’t feeling well. The nurse tried to get me to eat some, and I was feeling nauseated. I finally did eat a little when she told me if I ate something she could give me a stronger pain medicine. I rested the afternoon away, and Louie napped as well–the room had places for family to sleep.
Anyway, I was up for eating by dinner time, so I ordered some food. I ended up not having much of an appetite, so I didn’t eat much of the quesadilla I’d ordered, but I did enjoy the chocolate brownie. (If you are staying at St Clare’s Hospital in Fenton, order the chocolate brownie). I was surprised by how many items there were on the menu to order, and I could have anything I wanted! It is too bad I was sick and wasn’t able to really take advantage of this.
I was still mostly lying on my side because of the pain and cramping, and my right shoulder also hurt tremendously. It had been hurting the previous few months and especially during opera, so I wasn’t super surprised, but since then it’s been fine, and I think that oddly the surgery made it worse! (this is a real thing.) At some point after dinner, Louie went home to sleep and see the cats. My night nurse gave me something to help me sleep, I think, and I ended up having the best night’s sleep I’d had in a long time! I believe I slept from 12:45 (the last time I called her in to help walk me to the bathroom) until 7 am.
Hospital selfie as I waited for check out.
I woke up and got my vitals checked (they did this periodically), got my medicine, and ordered my breakfast. I was pretty hungry but didn’t want to eat too much (they warned me not to because of digestive issues), though I could eat anything I liked. Louie came back after awhile, and I got discharged mid-morning. They took me down in a wheelchair and helped me into the car and we went home. I really can’t say nice enough things about the nurses and the staff at St. Clare: they were fantastic across the board and I would gladly have stayed another day for their help.
Getting home went well, and then getting into the the house wasn’t so bad. I couldn’t walk too well, it was impossible to stand upright, but I made it and he helped me get situated on the bed. And that was the day really. Each day has gotten a little better, and today I woke up feeling the best yet, thankfully. I am still not sure if I can sit up for a long time–it’s easier to stand up or lie down, but I feel like today I might be able to sit upright longer than before, and will try to walk around the house even more. I’m not on the stronger pain pills anymore–I started cutting those off on Monday but I’m still taking regular ibuprofen and tylenol. My incisions hurt sometimes, and itch sometimes, and definitely freak me out, but they look like they are healing just fine.
My handy-dandy water cup from the hospital. They kept refilling it with ice water and it was the best thing ever. I am still using it and using the ice water as well.
The days have passed quickly, and Louie has been the best at helping out: the first few days I needed him for absolutely everything and he was amazing. We had people stop by and bring food and visit and that has been really nice too, much nicer than I realized. I didn’t share much beforehand with people, and I shared on instagram, and the well wishes really lifted my spirits. I’d been feeling stressed out, and a bit lonely and depressed, and it is so wonderful to be on the other side of this. I am thankful to my family and friends for being there for me, and for being supportive and helpful and kind and generous.
I don’t know if I’ll ever have to have another surgery, but if so, I think I’ll have a much better idea of what to expect. I also hope that I can better support my friends and family who might go through a similar thing.
Muriel, lending her support.
I am still feeling okay sitting here typing, but I might go lie down again soon anyway. The one thing people keep emphasizing is to take it easy especially as you start to feel better, and that you might get really tired all of sudden. I am planning to do some teaching starting on Monday, but I need to be able to sit upright for several hours at a time for that. I think I should be okay, as today is only Wednesday and I can tell I’m feeling better today than yesterday, but continuing to rest and do light walking around the house will probably help the most.
I had been unsure of what to pack for the hospital. I packed some toiletries, pjs, a change of clothes, my kindle, chargers, and an extra battery pack for charging. I didn’t need most of this: I wore my glasses the whole time, I did brush my teeth but not the first day. The battery pack was useful though so I could have my phone near me overnight without risk of it dying. I couldn’t concentrate well enough to read my kindle, and of course I was wearing the gown and slipper socks they gave me and that was fine. I was glad to have my things with me in case though, so there’s no harm in packing more than you need, but I guess I really only needed my phone battery pack and charging cord, my toothbrush and toothpaste, and a ponytail holder for my hair.
So that’s it, one week later. I think it was just about one week ago exactly that I was waking up, so I’ve come a long way in that week. One last thought, as I was waking up, I remember thinking to myself that while I could wake up, it didn’t matter, because I had the rest of the day off, and I could finally just rest. It has been nice having time off just to rest, and letting myself heal, and knowing that that is all I really have to do.
I remember when I was a child my mom would say, oh I can’t believe it’s almost Christmas again! And I would think, what are you talking about lady, it’s been FOREVER since last Christmas and this is the slowest month ever! (I wouldn’t actually call her lady, I’m taking a little poetic license here.)
In any case, I definitely understand her sentiment now. Didn’t we just have a Christmas and now there’s another one? I’m so glad I had a huge family gathering last year and that we got to spend a few days together, since things look…a little different this year.
But things are good. I’ve done a fair amount of baking, and I added some decorations. We’ve also been celebrating Hanukkah in the household here since that’s also part of Louie’s background, and I figured we should celebrate his background as well as mine. I’m sure our holiday celebrations offend equally, but I’m also sure there are plenty of households out there who have reason to celebrate both holidays, and this year is definitely a year to find celebration where one can. It’s good to sit and reflect, and (in my viewpoint) consider where you’ve come from and what you can do in your life to make the world a better place. I hope my violin lessons and classes do that, help each student to have a better day and to be a better person through music.
I had bought a cheap tree topper star a few years ago at Target and it broke this year. I was looking online to see what to have and found an awesome and gaudy light up star that you just plug into your existing light plugs (which I happened to have on top of the tree.) It did require a mechanical engineer to get it to stay on top of the tree, but it brings me great joy.
I’ve been doing a “series” on Instagram with an ornament a day. This violin was a gift from my first violin teacher and I love it.
The cats enjoying each other’s company. Or something!
This little fellow is happy even without one of his arms!
The first night of Hanukkah. Latkes, beet salad, a bit of caviar (we are fancy like that). We even played a bit of dreidel as we watched the candles burn.
I made a delicious orange chocolate chip ricotta cookie that will go on my “make again” list.
I remember reading a book in which the Gingerbread Man was a dangerous serial killer but no one could catch him. What book was that? Jasper Fforde?
Louie mentioned that eating blintzes was something he had done as a boy during Hanukkah so I made some one morning. They were great!
I got a new nutcracker from World Market. They do a limited edition each year and I’ve gotten in the habit of buying it (at least I have the past few years.) Each year it’s a different Santa, usually something from around the world, and this year was Mexican. He is a cute little guy.
A few more nights of lights. We don’t have a good place to light the menorah safely in front of a window (cats, cats, cats) but I have a delightful electric menorah in the front window that I turn on each night of Hanukkah.
Louie isn’t a real “plan for the holidays” sort of person, but I realized after a few years of decorating for Christmas that he was feeling like it wasn’t exactly right for his traditions without including Hanukkah. Since doing so last year, I could tell it meant a lot to him and that he enjoyed feeling more a part of the celebrations. He’s not a religious person, but he has his own traditions and sense of self, and holidays are such a part of that, aren’t they?
Blue crinkle cookies in honor of our shared traditions. I started making these…last year..and I took a recipe, made it vegan to share with Louie’s brother, and they tasted sort of weird and like playdough. I made them again this year but a different way and they taste like weird cookies with a fake banana flavor, which is crazy because I used real bananas!
How is your month going? What unusual or strange traditions do you have in your house?
You guys! I’m officially on vacation. This is my second day off of the month, and I slept in (even though I think I woke up because of a knock at my door, but I didn’t answer.) I haven’t slept in in a long time—I actually slept till about 10 am which is frankly, outrageous. I have some house things to do today, and one violin thing to take care of, but basically I have a day ahead of me and not a whole lot to do, and I’m very excited.
I had a very nice Christmas Day. I played a Mass in the morning (I normally don’t work on Christmas Day, but since Louie was traveling anyway I thought it might be worthwhile), and then after a nap, went to my friend’s Amy and Ana’s and had a delicious dinner and good times hanging out with them and other friends.
We opened a bunch of Christmas Crackers, so I tried on a few crowns. And I brought a nice plate of cookies.
It was a really nice day! I’d been sick (with a cold) for a few days leading up to Christmas, so I was happy to have a low-key celebration.
Working backwards, the night before was Christmas Eve, which is traditionally a day on which musicians can make as much money in 1 days as they normally make in 4-6 days. I played two very nice Christmas Eve gigs which were the same as last year. If I played them again next year I’d be very happy. I know it sounds a little greedy, but for performing musicians, you have to push hard through the holiday season because there is a lot less to do in January. Teaching for me helps even my income out, but there’s still nothing like the month of December for gigs, usually!
Another fun thing I got to do was hang out with my friend April! I saw her on Christmas Eve Eve and we went to Rooster for brunch with her and her boyfriend, and then made cookies all afternoon. I progressively felt worse as the day went on and had to skip a party that evening I had been invited to and instead went to bed early, but it was so wonderful to see her. I definitely miss having as many close female friends as I used to!
I made a fun Christmas Card Tree on a door. I sent out quite a lot of Christmas Cards, and hope to continue that tradition next year. I received a lot back and especially enjoyed seeing a few personal notes and Christmas Letters, along with some nice pictures and that sort of thing. In today’s digital age, there’s still something about an old-fashioned card, isn’t there?
So I’m off to do a few things around the house (laundry, trash), make up a few tunes on the violin, do a workout, and read a cozy mystery or two…hope you aren’t having to work too hard today (and if you are, don’t be jealous, this is only my third day off since early November).
We’ve been back home for Colorado for nearly a week now, and my sister Leslie and niece Athena came to visit after that. Athena is slightly over 3 1/2 years old, and Leslie a bit older than that. I’ll tell you more about our Colorado trip in a day or two (or you know how I am-I’ll get to it, though!) but I thought I’d pop in tonight and say hello to you all and give a quick overview of the week here!
It’s fun having family visit, because you really do all the things in town that you don’t normally do. I took the week off to spend with them—I had to turn down some really fun opportunities, but I think that sometimes you have to pick what’s important, and I decided that the Colorado trip and family visit was very important, and would be what I remembered down the line.
We went to a lot of great attractions in town: the Zoo, the Science Center, Grant’s Farm (an annual affair)…we got pedicures and had high tea at the London Tea Room. We went to Olio, Union Loafers, House of India, Bing Bing, and Seoul Taco. We rode a train, a tram, a carousel (some of us twice), one rode a pony, we fed goats, parakeets, we saw elephants and bison and elk and ostriches and MORE. We read books, played games, taught Athena how to talk to Alexa on the Echo, and basically just had a great time. I’m completely exhausted just thinking about it!
Elephants at the Zoo.
On the Zoo Train—you pay one price and can hop on/hop off all day long.
Pretzels and beer at Grant’s Farm—and lemonade for the little one. The beer is FREE.
Feeding the parakeets.
It was a really fun visit with them, and I’m sorry we don’t live closer to each other! Athena was shy at first, but after a few days she was right at home bossing me around and telling me how to use my windshield wipers.
High Tea at the London Tea Room-a gift from Leslie.
We ate all those tiers of goodies. The scones were especially tasty, and the cucumber sandwiches were a sleeper hit.
Athena had a nice time with Muriel the cat too. We are still so sad and missing Mackenzie, but it’s been good to have a lot of things going on to distract us. I tell myself that she had a good long life for a dog of her kind and I tell myself that she had a wonderful and fulfilling life, lots of people playing the violin, walks and hikes, good food and friends and hugs and pets…
But this isn’t the day to be sad. We had a big storm the other night, lots of rain, a bit of hail, and afterwards…a huge rainbow.
It was a double rainbow, and Louie sent that picture from work. I was at home, and could see it, but the picture wasn’t as good, plus the rainbow was obscured by the neighbor’s house.
It was sad that Athena didn’t get to see Mackenzie again. I was looking forward to that, but that’s how things go.
But, life goes on, doesn’t it? We have a ton of things going on in the next week as far as culture and recreation, and I’m back to work too. I played at Showcase STL today with my band , Third Millenium World’s Fair. I don’t consider that work, but play, but I’m back on the violin, and the emailing, and the trying to organize lessons…but it’s easier in the summer. It’s hot, it’s sticky, it’s buggy…and summer is definitely here.
Goals for the next few weeks: stay relaxed, work out almost every day, practice violin and viola, continue decluttering the house and see more of my friends than I have been.
