All posts by hannahviolin

I am a violinist. I also enjoy running, working out, reading, and hanging with my friends and cat.

No one is immune

All day today I kept thinking it was Friday. That’s probably because I’m not teaching tomorrow and I just have a noon time gig.  But it was weird, because I kept thinking of emails I wanted to get sent before the end of the day because who checks their email over the weekend, right?

Now, to be fair, I do. I have to, otherwise some people get annoyed if I don’t respond right away. But other people take the weekends off. And let’s not get started on the people who call in the late afternoon and then tell me to call back in the evening and then call again the next morning wondering why I didn’t call.  Gee, I couldn’t have been busy until late the night before.  No way.

Where was I? Oh right. Emails.  Friday. But it’s actually Thursday, in case you weren’t aware (though we are just three short hours away from Friday so there’s that.) Tomorrow is a big deal: Chris’s parents (that would be my parents-in-law) come to visit for approximately six days.  We have dinner reservations at Trattoria Marcella for tomorrow night and I’m really looking forward to it. Other than that I don’t know what we’re doing while they are here.  I’m back to work plus extra gigs starting Saturday so I’ll be counting down the weeks until June now…

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This morning I played for a funeral of a man I didn’t know. (This happens when you are a musician. Yes, I can play the violin while crying, thanks for asking.)

I’ve started reading “The Still Point of the Turning World” by Emily Rapp. It’s a fantastic book, written by a woman who lost her baby to Tay-Sachs disease—one of those genetic diseases you learn about in high school biology but statistically figure would absolutely never affect you or somebody you knew.

The other day on NPR Terry Gross was interviewing Emily Rapp and what made me want to get her book was that she said something about how grief and loss are just as much a part of the human experience as happiness and joy—in fact, we are all going to die, and we are all going to lose people we love and people we know, and no one is immune to it. That really spoke to me.

This morning during the funeral I was thinking about that—how the speaker who basically my age, was  eulogizing his dad who died of pancreatic cancer (after a THREE YEAR FIGHT!!!) It could have been me giving the eulogy…this (barring illness or accident) will be me someday (hopefully not for a long time, I’m not wishing anything here of course!)—someday I too will be giving a eulogy for a parent—or sitting in the pew with my siblings watching another sibling do it.

And of course I cried along with the speaker. Nothing makes me cry more than when a guy is crying.

Anyway, the thing Emily Rapp was saying was, people say, oh I’m so blessed or I’m so lucky, and she doesn’t think that’s true. We all experience loss and grief, but that doesn’t mean we don’t also lead full, rich lives that are full of love. No one escapes this.

I know I went from “it feels like Friday, why do people keep calling me?” to “Hey who’s going to die of pancreatic cancer next”…but that’s life isn’t it?

Dead lifts

I’ve mentioned how much I love and hate dead lifts before haven’t I?  I love them because they make me feel really strong and powerful.  I hate them because I am fairly incapacitated for a few days after.

Yesterday Mike had me do a whole bunch of them.  We did a couple sets of 8 or 10 (can’t recall, I pay him to count) and then he added weight (I complained) and did another 4 sets of 6.  Afterwards he said it was the most I’d ever done.  110!  I was super proud of myself.  I’ve put on a little weight this year (emotional eating combined with less cardio) and I was feeling very fat going to gym…after the dead lifts I felt STRONG and AWESOME.

Some people will think, wow that’s a lot. Others, huh that’s easy. We are all different—but it was the highest I had ever lifted for so many sets.

I don’t understand people who complain about lifting weights.  I love it!  Bring me your squats, your dead lifts, and your lunges. I love when I’m carrying in all my groceries at once and I realize that a year or two ago I would have been struggling and now it’s totally no big deal.

Of course I woke up last night and my back was super sore, and today I’ve been crazy sore—every muscle in my back (I think, I’m not a doctor) and my hamstrings are starting to really hurt. But I’m still thrilled.  I may be a little heavier, but I’m a little stronger, and that’s good enough for me right now.

Well it’s not entirely. But I’m happy to feel strong.

I could pretend I haven’t gained weight. I’m up about 15 pounds from my wedding weight…I guess it’s the “newlywed 15”.  I’ve had to buy new pants. I may need to buy new running shorts when the weather gets nice. Eating healthy and getting out there for a run has been proven to be a struggle over the past few months.

I think spring will help though. I am over the cold weather, seriously! I’m still going to push myself through the Go Half in a couple weeks though my goal is to finish before Leslie finishes her full (not really—my goal is to finish and not kill myself, and use my lack of training to motivate myself to do better in the future and to remind myself that I am not perfect, life gets in the way, and sometimes it’s okay to just half-ass parts of life when other parts you’ve been giving your all.).  And I’m considering a fall marathon so there’s that too. It’s still a goal I have and I know I’ll have much more time and energy to train over the summer.

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I used this creepy Hannibal Lector style mask tonight. It was scary, but it felt really nice on my face.

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And I’m relaxing tonight, enjoying a rare Wednesday night off—watching movies and drinking wine and hanging out with this fine creature.

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Is that your expert opinion?

I keep thinking I should write a post about auditions. My casual readers won’t care at all, but musician readers would care. I’m not the Bulletproof Musician though—I don’t have any real advice for you—I haven’t shown tremendous success in the audition world—and I don’t consider myself an expert on auditioning. But I think that’s part of the charm of my blog: I don’t pretend to be an expert on things that I am NOT an expert on. (Many do. I think this is a big problem with the world—too many “experts” and too little actual knowledge.)

What do I consider myself an expert on? 

Well…I’m starting to feel that way about teaching violin.  The more I do it (going on what, 15 years or so now?) the more I feel like I’m starting to know what I’m doing. You say, what, that’s ridiculous, of course you’re already an expert on violin teaching. I say, I am learning every day. I learn from my students what works, what doesn’t work. I learn from talking to other teachers. I learn by reading a couple of blogs and journals. I learn from taking workshops and classes. I will likely never consider myself to be an expert, because I consider myself a constant student. But I do know that I am a better teacher NOW than at any point in the past and that I will only continue to grow. So check back—maybe in two years I’ll say, yeah I’m an expert violin teacher.

I’m really good at playing for weddings. I still get a little stressed about timing and I’m no expert at dealing with brides—I do my best, but people don’t always respond well to me—I tend to have a dry sense of humor and sometimes my efforts to calm people down don’t work! I have a fantastic smile though and often people respond well to that 😉 That said, I’m great at playing the music, I’m great at keeping an eye out for cues and knowing when to start and stop.

I used to be a really good orchestral player. Or at least I thought I was. I probably still am—I just don’t get as much of an opportunity these days. I’m great at playing in a section and I’m a darn good concertmaster for Winter Opera St Louis.  Expert? I’m always improving.

I guess it depends on the definition of expert.  Merriam Webster says the definition of expert is: having, involving, or displaying special skill or knowledge derived from training or experience. 

By that definition, I’m definitely an expert violinist and violin teacher. I have special skills AND knowledge.  Maybe I’m an audition expert too? I’ve certainly participated in enough to consider myself one, and playing for a judge has been a skill I’ve used since I was a young girl, both for violin and piano.

Maybe I’m afraid if I say “expert” that I’ll sit on my haunches and think no one has anything else to teach me? I’m an avid reader (as you know) and I’m constantly looking for more information about life, the universe and everything…I often feel that many people lack the intense intellectual curiosity that I have, but that might just be me thinking I’m smarter than a lot of people.  (I do think that but I’m especially tickled when I realize a friend really is smarter than me!)

So what do you think? Can I consider myself an expert but also admit that I have tons more to learn? I’m sure I can, but I’m hesitant to do so. Or I just have low self-esteem 😉

Really though, we have so many self-proclaimed “experts” in the world.  You see it on other blogs, you see it in the mainstream media. How many of those people are truly experts? Very few! Most just seem to like to hear themselves talk.  Now, don’t get me wrong.  I like to read my own writing, which is very similar, but I’m not pretending to be something I’m not.

All that said—I should write some audition posts. I know some readers have asked questions about my most recent experience (which is STILL very raw) and my past experiences…maybe I’ll add that to my blog “to do list”.

 

 

Power Outage

After I did a few things yesterday (errands and an airport run for a friend), I decided I wanted to be lazy (continue being) and watch TV and maybe a movie, all night long. 

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While I was watching I could hear a big storm coming through, but I didn’t think anything of it—I was safe and cozy in my home…until the power went out.

NOOOOOOOOOOO!

Step one: locate candles and flashlight.  Step two: go out to car to charge phone and bit more.  Step three: Annoy people on twitter?

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A picture of the houses in the area from my car. You can how dark it is 😉

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After about 2 1/2 hours the power did come back on, luckily.  I’m more accustomed to extensive power outages, OR power outages where you can’t run water either (at my parents’ house if you lose power, you lose water too because it is from a well, so you get ONE flush. Use it wisely—) so this really wasn’t a big deal at all. And I started rereading the Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy.

Do you guys remember or were you affected by the big power outage in the fall of 2003? I was just moving back to Cleveland, caravaning with my sister Leslie when the power went out. Things that suck: trying to move into a new apartment when there is no electricity or food, and all of the stores and restaurants have shut down because they have to power. We spent the night eating dry “Honey Bunches of Oats” and sweating from lack of fans and having to share one bed since that was all that we could manage to set up in the dark with just a flashlight.

The next day wasn’t much better—some restaurants were open so we were able to eat, but the restaurant didn’t have fountain Diet Coke! It was a nightmare.

We did finally get our power back on a few days later and in retrospect it was a wonderful adventure. Considering that the day I moved to Charlotte was September 11, 2001, the great Northeast Blackout of 2003 was really no big deal. I think the day we moved to St Louis was really uneventful in comparison though—the key is to have a day that doesn’t have a Wikipedia entry on it (the best I can find is it was the day Barack Obama was officially nominated for the Democratic Candidate for President, but that was a fairly foregone conclusion at that point anyway…). And I’m cheating a bit—my move to Charlotte was a multi day process—one day I moved from Cleveland to my parents house, then from there to Charlotte, and I made more than one trip. 

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My sister sent this picture of her new kitty, Catalunya. I wanted to just share it randomly.  I don’t know how her little body is able to support that head…

Were you affected by the blackout in 2003? I probably wouldn’t remember it so strongly if I hadn’t also been moving at the same time.

Who wants chowder?

I’m sort of on Spring Break—the school where I teach is on Spring Break so that means I have three days off this week! You’d think I’d be catching up on all kinds of stuff, but mainly so far I’ve watched a lot of TV, slept a bunch and hung out with friends.

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Seafood Chowder and Crab Cakes from Robust Wine Bar last night (not sure why that one picture is sideways…)

Even the cat is bored by this blog post

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You know how bloggers like to take pictures of their outfits? I’ve started doing this…also I was inspired by a friend…

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It’s stupid and I love it. I’d tell you where I bought my clothes but we all know it’s just Target…I’m SUCH a fashionista!

So how has your weekend been so far?

Nearer my god to thee

You guys.

The violin used by Wallace Hartley as the Titanic sank

It’s the violin from the Titanic. Go here to read the article about it! (Also here to read another article I just saw a student shared with me!)

I had a good day on twitter.

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I’m right, and I have amazing intonation. What else could a girl want?

(I debated tweeting this screencap…but instead I’m blogging about it.)

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And one of my friends sent out this tweet. We are obsessed with the banana emoji on many levels (not the least of which is my nickname for years has been Hannah Banana…).

I’m coming up on Spring Break from my school. I have a couple of days off teaching, and I’ll have some spring cleaning and catching up around the house to do. Mainly I’ll be blogging and watching TV I imagine 😉 And Twittering, and taking pictures of the cat, and doing some extra working out, and maybe even practicing again (I’ve been taking some time off to let my shoulder recover to not risk another incident like last year.)

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Hey, there’s a pair of socks on your back!

Yeah, I should probably get to bed, huh? Happy Friday!