I love that there is now a word for sitting around with slippers and a warm blanket and reading a book. Of course it must be a Scandinavian term to be truly trendy, but it’s always been a great way to make it through the winters. I am as guilty as the next for complaining about dark afternoons and frigid temperatures (and snow, why is it snowing again, though it doesn’t look like it’ll be too bad), and there is something about spring and rebirth and such that is lovely, but winter is, at heart, a lovely time. And what’s wrong with spending more time indoors?

I’ve been feeling pretty stressed out about this week but trying to manage it. It’s mostly because of this viola gig tomorrow, isn’t that silly? I did get (most) of my students figured out, and then Monday’s schedule, and yesterday’s, was even lighter than anticipated due to a couple of sick students. Today is not bad, but after teaching we have a band rehearsal, which (okay, maybe I’m contradicting my attitude in paragraph 1 but) means it’ll be cold and dark and I have to go out in it. (I say winter is best INSIDE wearing cozy clothing). We also have a quartet concert this weekend, and while I’m not particularly stressed about it, it is another THING to do. And I have to copy programs and talk about one of the pieces beforehand. Sigh.

Really it’s all fine though, this is how stuff is, for everybody. Little stressful events and life chugs along. The snow falls and covers the sidewalks.

I was reading online a bit about the Midwest and how people on the coasts don’t understand its beauty. Firstly, we must decide whether Missouri is part of the Midwest. I would agree that it is. I think no matter where I go, I appreciate the beauty of the landscape. This wasn’t true as a child, but you know how things are: you grow up and start to appreciate more of the things around you! (I remember being bored of seeing the Grand Canyon as a kid). I do think it’s possible to admire the quiet beauty of the Tallgrass Prairie National Preserve in Kansas or enjoy a quiet hike in Babler State Park, but also appreciate the Rocky Mountains and the Golden Gate Bridge. Many people seem to think only travel is only worth doing if you go to Europe or Asia, but I think no matter where you go you can appreciate the beauty of the land, and you can learn something new. I’ve been stuck (by choice, as obviously I have the privilege to be able to go away when I like) in St Louis since getting back from our trip in August, and to some of you that may not seem long, but I’m feeling a bit stuck and wanting to see new places. Some of that just means I need to seek out places here, and we do that when we can (one thing I do is work entirely too much when I’m here, so that does cut down on local sightseeing) but going away is such a lovely thing, isn’t it?

I realize this is a random blog post. I had a sort of resolution to blog more often and to be more detailed in my blogging. Why do I continue to blog even when this is supposedly a dying activity? It’s my public journal, and I enjoy it. But I also want to feel it is worthwhile! I don’t want to just be yelling into the abyss (I’m not generally yelling, but you know…) about myself. The world is a terrible and uncertain place, but this is still fun.

We have had a fair amount of snowy days. We are all getting more used to it, and just deal. It’s been colder too, which is I suppose correct for January, but after such a warm Christmas, I don’t like it!

I’m used to being busier again. It’s funny, isn’t it, how you can be on a vacation, and think, oh, this is so nice, why do I work so hard? and then you are like, oh no big deal, I only have 6 hours of teaching students plus an opera performance, it’s totally fine because that allows me a 15 minute lunch break and another hour break in the afternoon in order to change, pack dinner, and maybe even answer some emails!

I am aware that not everybody can maintain my schedule. I barely do, on occasions. There was a point where I wasn’t so busy, but it was never when I was freelancing and teaching enough to happily live on. It’s not for the faint of heart or for those that don’t derive great happiness from working long hours. I think it’s important that we all admit that: this isn’t a job you can make an easy living at. And when I’m not working paid hours, there’s still plenty to do, and there’s always practicing to be had, and since my sort of year long break from practicing is over, I’m back at it!

My students will ask me how much I practice, and I find that hard to answer. On a good day, an hour! I do play practically all day, lots of slow scales, shifting, long bows, all the technique stuff they have to learn. But really practicing and learning music…not so much. I wonder if this is normal or if others manage to do better? Symphony players claim they need their easier schedules so they can practice their music, do they spend that time doing so? Practicing is always one of those things that nobody feels they do enough of, and it really is the “magic bullet” that makes the different between “talented” and “not talented.”

I’m mostly just rambling on a Friday morning. You guys! I was looking back through my old posts of my trip to Paris way back when, and I used to be so much funnier. It’s really unfortunate that I’m not anymore. I suppose that comes with getting older and getting divorced and being tired, but hmm…there’s a chance we are going to Paris this summer due to a work conference and I am super excited. I’m researching small house museums and what to wear on the plane so you are comfortable and not freezing, and what shoes to wear…shoes are always my city issue. I will wear a pair of shoes that I think is comfortable but then end up with terrible blisters. Or my feet will simply be numb by the end of the day. I need something that I can wiggle my toes in and feel like my feet can move and breathe, but that won’t rub them raw. And yet is perhaps a teensy bit stylish so the french people don’t laugh at me. (I.e. I’m not wearing hiking shoes). I have a few new ideas. Oh, and not Toms, because while I love wearing Toms and they fit the bill, I also need a shoe with a sole that won’t make me slip and fall on the marble steps (has happened twice in Europe before!).

We don’t want to spend the whole time in Paris. I’d also like to get out and spend a couple days in a smaller town or more country area, to get a sense of something else. Ideally somewhere we can just take the train to and get around by walking or taking public transportation. If any readers have any great ideas, let me know. I’m not certain this trip will happen, as it’s contingent on a few factors out of my control, but if it does, it’ll be in the summer, and will be at least 10 days in Paris.  (And I’m not opposed to spending it all in Paris, but figure that mixing it up a bit is a great idea too.)

As busy as today is (oh, and it is busy…any day you have to pack lunch and dinner is busy) tomorrow is a day off from work. We have a jazz show at night (so many these first months of the year) and dinner plans with friends, and I am planning a few projects at home, and working out, and it should be a lovely day. Sunday evening is free as well, which hasn’t happened in a few weeks, so I’m really looking forward to a nice weekend.

I’d better wrap this up so I can get to teaching. Have a great weekend, readers!

One of the things that Louie and I enjoy doing together is going to concerts, mostly classical or jazz (he’s introduced me to jazz, before that I was strictly a classical girl!). This month has been kind of crazy…I think because last fall was busy with shows for me, and then there was December which is mostly just Christmas, we have a lot of jazz and symphony concerts.

We subscribe to the Symphony here, which means we get 6 concerts a year chosen for us, but we can trade them for anything else (it’s very generous). For the jazz shows, we’ve been doing a pick-your-own series at Jazz at the Bistro, which means you have to choose at least 4 concerts, and this year we chose 6…two of which are this month and one next month. We also subscribe to the Great Artists Series at Washington University (highly recommend) and then try to attend other concerts there as well as I like to attend my friends’ concerts when I am able. All this to say, we’ve been attending two concerts a weekend all month and it shows no signs of slowing down!

Friday night we saw Jean-Ives Thibaudet play a concert at Wash U with members of the St Louis Symphony. Saturday afternoon I attended a show of Peter Pan, junior, that some of my students were in. Saturday night we saw Jean-Ives Thibaudet play with the St Louis Symphony. It was a busy weekend! Last weekend we saw the Bad Plus and next weekend is the Delvan Lamarr Organ Trio and Winter Opera.

But as much as staying in and watching tv can be appealing on a cold, rainy night (especially Friday night was like that…freezing rain!), I always enjoy the concert, and it is definitely adding to a more memorable life. We often get dinner with friends before the jazz shows and occasionally before other concerts too. I get tired sometimes, and don’t always want to go, and I’m a little worried we’ve over-committed ourselves with concerts over the next month (it does seem like everything good is happening this month and next) but I think we won’t regret it.

All that being said, I do regret overscheduling sometimes in advance of the things I’ve overscheduled, but we always enjoy cultural events. I would love to get to more museums and such as well, but it’s easier to make yourself go to a concert you have a ticket for, isn’t it? I think I’ll try to get to a few art museums this year though…it’s hard to do it all, but I’m so glad I live in a place with too many things that I want to do!

My own performances are ramping up as well. There is Winter Opera coming up, a Perseid Quartet concert, a Third Millenium World’s Fair benefit concert, and another chamber music concert at the Gatesworth (a retirement home), all in the next month. I feel like I sufficiently got over being a bit burned out with my week long staycation, and now I’m ready to make music (which means practice) again.

I’m also trying to read and work on my hobbies as much as I can…I have almost finished a few of the cross-stitch projects, and I have a bread-making project planned as well as a jam canning thing I’m planning…I ended up with too many cranberries and I thought that might be the thing to push me to try some small batch home canning. Wish me luck! It’s all really too much, but I love having a bunch of things going, and I think I’m really leaning in to some of the more traditional “at home” things to do. I should probably learn how to do more actual home improvement projects, but we’ve got to eat too.

We’ve got some potential travel this summer, so I’m also reading to learn and be inspired. Work-wise I’ve mostly only been doing the scheduling side of things, so I have some work ahead to prepare and cajole students for April’s festival, and I have a few things to do for my SLAMTA board position as well as a review or two to write for another volunteer position I’m on. I like being involved, except when I prefer just to sit on the couch.

All of this is sounding a little overwhelming to me right now I never know if I come across as sounding a bit crazy on the blog for having too much going on, or if it’s all fairly small stuff. I feel like on a weekly basis I usually have plenty of downtime, but not always on a day-to-day basis. Some weeks are busier than others, and though busy is such a bad word these days, the truth is life is always a bit busy for me. “People” say you shouldn’t use busy as a badge of honor, and that being busy isn’t a good thing, but…as a freelancer, (I’ve said this before) busy pays the bills. Busy means a nicer vacation down the line. Busy means more money in the bank. And busy means I have a lot of interesting things in my life…I get more done when I have slightly less time, and I enjoy most of what I do, so it’s a win-win.

Maybe I’m trying to convince myself, and not you! In any case, I’d better wrap up this post. We are going to brave the bitter cold to go for a nice walk in Forest Park before I have to work again today. I am looking forward to the week ahead… my weeks this semester get busier towards the end, so Monday through Wednesday are much lighter and Thursday/Friday are jam packed with students. Every semester is different!

It isn’t so often that I have a long period of time off work yet at home. After my family left on the 29th, I was left alone for a whole week to myself! Louie is off visiting his family and I chose not to go as I would be going later due to my family visiting, and I had already accepted a couple gigs when we discussed it. I also thought it might be nice to have a little downtime at home.

Don’t get me wrong, I love traveling, and there have definitely been times this week that I regretted staying home. But there have been other times I’ve been so thankful that I’ve been able to take this time to myself!

I have been cleaning up a bit around the house, putting away decorations and such. I was able to finish all the leftovers and hardly waste any food at all (we had a lot of leftover baked potatoes, for instance, so I made potato salad and a spanish omelet type dish.) I ate pies for a week, but I’ve decided things are dire now and I need to have at least a week with no dessert, maybe even the rest of the month. I did toss out a few cookies this morning, and there are still some in the freezer, but I suspect those will still be pretty good closer to Valentine’s Day and maybe we can take some to work then. I have finished several small cross-stitch projects and done good work on another. I practiced (I have a couple of performances coming up). I worked out many times, and have planned a good regime for the next few weeks. I set up my courses online for one of my colleges, and am already trying to organize my schedule…this won’t actually be finished until closer to mid-month, but it never hurts to get started. I have read about 5 books and am part way through another. I bought some clearance Christmas decorations for next year, made some returns, and ordered a few more things that I needed and wanted for the house. I slept in and woke without an alarm clock most days. I got a facial, and I did a few things with friends.

So it’s been pretty good and relaxing. I’m looking forward to Louie’s return, and I’m looking forward to getting back to being a more productive member of society. I do enjoy spending a long time sitting and reading, but I feel like I’m probably too young still to make that my full-time dream. And I could use some money coming in rather than only spending money!

But this has been really nice, and I might have to schedule myself another staycation at the end of the semester or something.  If Louie were here, he would have wanted to go out more and do things, and I am much more able to be happy staying home all day with perhaps not even leaving the house. So it’s been extra relaxing for me! Don’t get me wrong, I do love doing things, going to concerts and parks and hiking and traveling. But so much of my life is scheduled and so many of the scheduled things are things that I really cannot be late for, that it has been extra relaxing having a few days to have literally nothing scheduled, and a few others days with very little scheduled. (I do have a wedding this afternoon, so this day isn’t one, but I have very little to do and the wedding will be with colleagues I love.)

Keep in mind that I usually work 6 to 7 days a week during the school year, so I don’t get weekends to recharge. This is my own fault, yes, I recognize that, but the only way out of it would be to stop being a musician and that is simply not an option.

A few random thoughts for the new year: I’m planning to use more candles. I loved celebrating Hanukkah for the candles, and watching the candlelight. I’ve decided we need more candlelit dinners and more candles in general (with supervision, obviously, because of the cat). I’m also really going to dig in and try to lose some weight. I’m tired of seeing pictures of myself…I let myself be too stressed and eat junk because of it. I am going to really make an effort to eat better and move more. I don’t want to become obsessed with it, because I don’t like that either, but I think a few simple tweaks will work, and it’s just a matter of really meaning it. I sometimes feel like people are judging me for being overweight, and while I don’t actually think that’s true, it still makes me feel uncomfortable, and I think the best thing to do (for me) would be to try to do something about it. I’m only saying this here to make it more real rather than pretending. I have been doing pretty well with exercise over the past year, but you can’t run away from eating too much junk! And while I don’t want to give up desserts forever or be too strict, I think a week or more of no sweets would reset things a bit, and trying to limit snacks to only fruit would be another great step. I think I sleep better too, the better I treat myself!

Perhaps you’ve noticed there are a fair amount of cat pictures in this post. Happy Caturday!