All posts by hannahviolin

I am a violinist. I also enjoy running, working out, reading, and hanging with my friends and cat.

Busy and Tired

I’m overly busy, and I’ve had so much going on, not all good. But I’m here, and I’m getting through it, and Thanksgiving will be lovely!

I’ll write more later, but I just wanted to pop in in case you are a loyal reader and wondered what happened to me. Louie and I went on a lovely hike one day at Buford Mountain, that I’ll share with you more later, but then I found out less than two days later that my grandmother passed away and that just threw everything into a whirlwind mess of figuring out how to get to Ohio and how to cancel or reschedule things. Then I came back and now I’m playing three weeks of a show at the Fox Theater here and things are just crazy. Oddly (for a musician especially) December looks way better, and I’m planning some fun holiday activities for us to relax and enjoy ourselves more. It’s been a bit too much, honestly.

But I’m still here. Things are okay!

Pere Marquette State Park

Louie and I had Sunday off, so we decided to drive up to Grafton, Illinois to hike at Pere Marquette State Park. I’d been there before to play a couple of weddings, but never to hike. I knew the drive would be beautiful as well-after you go through Alton you drive along the Mississippi River on the Great River Road.

The weather was sunny and a little bit cool, so perfect weather for hiking. We parked by the visitor’s center (which was closed even though the parking lot was practically full—make a note of that if you expect to pick up a trail map at the visitor’s center) and headed out.

If you look at the trail map, we went up the Dogwood to the Ridge Trail, (to the highest point,McAdams Peak) to Hickory, to Hickory North, and then back around on Hickory South. We debated the Fern Trail, but decided to go head for lunch instead. We’d hoped to hike the Goat Cliff trail, but it was REALLY muddy/looked flooded at the beginning so we decided against it.

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The fall colors are here, though not super strong, and it was just really pretty.

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It’s worth pointing out that the river was pretty high all along the road, and on the river side of the park we saw a picnic shelter which was partially under water. After our hike we walked over to check out the Lodge, which was built by the CCC in the 1930’s. It’s worth checking out if you are in the area.

Next, we headed back towards Alton to visit the Old Bakery Beer Company. I’d heard good things about the brewery, and when I saw they had an Impossible Burger and a vegetarian Reuben on the menu I knew we had to try it. It was good! We split a flight of beers and had sandwiches.

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All in all, it was a really nice day. Nothing too strenuous, but just fresh air, good food, and good company.

When we got home I of course had a headache from (probably) the beer. Afternoon drinking is never good for me, even though I enjoyed tasting the beers. I had thought to go to a concert at Wash U that evening, but I just didn’t have the energy and thought it would make my headache worse, so I just relaxed and lay down while Louie did some work.

We both have this Sunday off again too so we are planning another Sunday Funday! It’ll be the last one before Christmas, so hopefully the weather is good enough to get some outside activities in. My backup plan had been to go to IKEA, so that’s always an option Winking smile

Finding Joy

I sometimes wonder if I’m having a mid-life crisis. I am just busy enough that I do occasionally have time to reflect on how busy I am and wondering if I’m doing this wrong. I think that other people are able to make time to see friends and do things in the evening other than collapse into bed. Then again, based on the memes people put on facebook, I’m not sure if that many people do!

I have a little downtime now. I have students in about 45 minutes, so I thought I’d blog before then. I thought I had a student this morning, but I guess not. I got some practicing done and some errands though, and got a pretty intense workout done before that. I have been listening to the podcast, The History Chicks, while I drive around, and right now it’s about Louisa May Alcott. There was a bit where they talked about how much she loved the outdoors and running around, and such, and I thought to myself that in all honesty, my greatest pleasure is reading a good book. But I do enjoy the outdoors, and I always feel good after I exercise, but those things still require a mild struggle. There is no struggle to sitting down with a book! Louie is the opposite—he totally loves going out, he loves going for a hike or a run. I enjoy seeing new things, I enjoy getting out into the woods and the mountains, and I especially enjoy taking pictures and planning things.

It’s funny, isn’t it, what brings us joy? My cats don’t question these things. We got a new, larger, cat tower, and they don’t worry whether they are enjoying the tower enough. (The answer is, probably not enough yet but I’m hopeful they will use it more once they are used to it). They just are. They scratch, they meow, they sleep, they groom, they don’t seem to worry about anything.

Not that I can be like a cat, because the cats have a me, and I don’t have a me unless I am me. But that I can take some ideas from them: one is to try to enjoy my downtime. Yesterday morning I woke up and was really stressed out, even though I really had the morning free! I ended up not getting to enjoy my downtime as much as if I’d said to myself, yes, you have the morning off, so let’s drink some coffee, let’s read, and let’s not stress out about what comes next.

I don’t want to cut back on my work schedule right now, for a variety of reasons. But I do want to find more joy and enjoyment in my life. Sometimes I feel like the only thing all day that I look forward to is eating and having a drink at the end of the day, and that doesn’t seem quite right. I want to enjoy what I’m doing as I do it (…some students make this easier than others for sure!) and I want to have things in my life that I enjoy, that I look forward to, that I can just do and have fun with.

Granted, my philosophy for life isn’t centered around my own happiness as being the number one, but you read a lot of stuff about “self-care” and how you can’t help others if you aren’t doing okay yourself. And while I don’t think I’m dealing with any real depression right now, I have been feeling a little bit down, and feeling a little bit lonely in the world. I often feel like whatever I do is letting somebody down or upsetting somebody else. I know that that’s probably not quite true, and that I shouldn’t worry so much about other people, but…it’s always easier said than done!

But on the bright side: Louie’s birthday is coming up and we have some fun activities planned. We are heading into the fun part of the year with holiday after holiday. I’m making progress on a variety of home projects. I’m not managing to lose any weight, but I’m getting in much better shape, which is the true goal anyway. I should reevaluate some aspects of my diet, but I’m happy that I’ve gotten into a regular exercise routine again. I decided to treat myself and ordered a few actual paintings from Etsy that I really loved, so I’m looking forward to seeing those in person. And tonight will be pizza at Union Loafers with Louie and a friend (yes, I’m looking forward to food, but also seeing friends). I haven’t been able to get to Union Loafers for pizza in months, so I’m super excited! (It’s my favorite pizza place in town, currently.)

I know I need to focus on the positive. I’ve always struggled with feeling satisfied and finding joy in my life. I’m lucky that I have a full studio, a fairly full gig calendar, a loving partner, two adorable cats, some good friends even though I don’t have time for them, and family around the country that will always be there for me. I’m also lucky that the library lets you borrow ebooks for free, that I paid off my student loans over a year ago, and that the cost of living in my city is low enough that I can make a decent living as a musician. (It helps that I get my health care from my partner, because that is an expense that is MUCH cheaper through his employer.)

That is a lot of good things! So glad we had this talk. Also, I’m wearing a velvet top, which is a great thing about fall—fuzzy tops and sweaters. Related to fall: Louie has never had a pumpkin spice latte. I might have to have us make a stop over the weekend to indulge. He might hate them, but I won’t.

Shaw Nature Reserve and more

Yesterday we got some of our concrete steps redone in the front of the house. It was a bit of a wait to finally get to this point, but today they look fantastic! We also had to deal with our furnace not working over the weekend—we bought a brand new furnace last winter, and since then we’ve had to replace the circuit board twice and something else once. It’s not promising for a long life for the furnace, but we will make sure that the company is the one with the problem. You think that if you throw money at an issue it means you won’t have to deal with problems, but that’s just not true. I guess if you throw enough money around you can pay somebody else to wait at your house for you or something?

Louie and I had off during the day on Monday due to various Fall Breaks  so we decided to go out for breakfast and then for a hike (before having to be back at the house to meet the heating repairman). We went to Southwest Diner for breakfast—one of my favorite breakfast places, I think, and then decided to go to Shaw Nature Reserve. We hadn’t been for many years—they don’t allow dogs so we never went with Mackenzie. But seeing as how the weather is lovely for hiking and sadly Mackenzie is no longer with us, we thought it would be a great idea.

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We did one longer hike and one shorter hike—we started with the Rus Goddard River Trail. Part of it was closed, but this one did take us down to a gravel bar along the Meramec River. It reminded us that we never got on a canoe trip last summer and that this summer we shall try harder for that.

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The hike was relaxing, the air was brisk, and we only saw one other person while we were there!

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We had enough time for another short hike after that one, so we went to the Wetland Trail.

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This one wandered around a pond with lily pads and had two small buildings to observe wildlife from. There was also a stretch of boardwalk to walk along.

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We only had a short period of time to explore, but we enjoyed our trip. Admission is $5 per person, but if you are a member of the Botanical Gardens it is free. We talked about joining, because we’d like to belong to things like that, but we really don’t have time to go very often. Maybe if we joined we’d make the time?

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I do find that buying tickets to things makes you go. Does a membership do the same or is that not a specific enough purchase?

Over the weekend we went to two concerts—one at the Sheldon: Wynton Marsalis with the Jazz at Lincoln Center Orchestra, and then to the St Louis Symphony the next night (we subscribe so we go to 5 or 6 concerts a year). My weekend was busy but pretty good—I have been having a hard time with my work schedule and needing some downtime, but I made it through. Barely. I may have have a series of small breakdowns but I did make it through as I’m still here.

One of the cool things about seeing a concert at the Sheldon is there are art galleries to browse beforehand or at intermission. There was a display of musical instruments.

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I liked that one and imagined it would be even more amazing if the little man carved on the scroll were playing an instrument with him carved into the scroll, and so on.

I played at the Artica Festival with part of my band. It was chilly but fun.

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And I managed to get some time to hang out with the cats, of course.

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Friday FreyDay

Those are pronounced the same.

Today I only have 4 hours of teaching. I slept in a little bit, worked out, did the usual emailing and checking to make sure I’m up to date enough on things, and prepped some for my weekend activities. I have a little bit of time before I have to go teach a student, so I thought I’d pop in and say hello here!

I’ve been a little down lately—being so busy with work and feeling like I don’t have any time to spend with friends has been difficult. Sometimes I worry I’m working too hard and I’m missing out of some aspects of life that I’ll regret, but I don’t know. I saw a fellow musician on twitter asking others how to deal with work-life balance, and I didn’t weigh in, because the truth is, as I’ve said here lately, I’m choosing to work more rather than life. I’ve tried it the other way and that didn’t really make me happy either, so *shrugs* here we are!

It’s not than I’m unhappy either, it’s just the general blahs. I think the election and the news and all of that are my starting place of mild depression and then everything piles on. I’d love to just ignore what’s happening, but I can’t do that in good conscience, and I can’t do it as a woman. I can’t believe that 41.5 percent of people approve of what our government is doing. Making 5 year olds sign away their rights. Being okay with a reporter being killed. Being okay with women getting raped and assaulted on a daily basis. Being okay with hundreds of immigrant children, many who were here to seek asylum, being locked up in camps, where they are often molested and raped. You can argue that the previous administration also allowed these things to happen, but you would be putting up a false flag, and you would also be saying that you are okay with these things. I am not, regardless of who is committing these atrocities, to be clear. I would link to all of those things, with reputable articles from reputable sources, but google would work just fine for you, and I work 80 hour weeks because I’m worried about my health care, my retirement, and the future of our country.

I hate getting so political, but politics are life for so many. It’s political to be upset about children in cages! It’s political to be upset that women are assaulted and yet the word of the man means more than the word of dozens of women. It’s political to feel that my body should be my own. It’s political to think that my friends should be able to marry the person they love. It’s political to want our planet to have a future! (This, this climate change is something that I can’t even think of, because it seems like we have known for years and decades and nobody freaking cares!)

Enough ranting. It’s a lovely rainy fall day. I always write more when I’m annoyed. This weekend should be lovely, with two concerts to attend, one to play, a festival, a wedding, and festival event for my students. Monday I get the daytime off due to a fall break, and we might go to Shaw Nature Reserve, or something like that. If the rain isn’t too much more—I hate mud!

My cats are adorable, my niece is having a birthday soon (though I can’t attend the party, but I’ll see her in a few months), I have new purple shoes…life is mostly good. Isn’t it funny how I feel the need to convince you that I’m okay? I’M FINE EVERYTHING IS FINE.

I’m trying to decide where to take Louie for his birthday dinner. Any new amazing places with excellent pescatarian options in town?

How’s your day shaping up?

Southern Road Trip: Finale

After Savannah and Macon we headed to Charleston for two nights. I’d rented an AirBNB that was a little camper, located about 15 minutes drive from the downtown Charleston area.

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We had a great two days there. I’m doing highlights now, because it’s been too long to do more, but I want this here for me and perhaps for you!

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Dinner: FIG. Amazing. Highly recommend. I got reservations early for this one.

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Dinner: The Grocery. Also amazing, and not busy enough. This place was really great and needs more buzz—so many people had never even heard of it!

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Brunch: Husk. Loved our brunch—I couldn’t get dinner reservations at Husk in Charleston so I thought brunch might be good instead. It definitely was, though the peach pancake was out of control and I’m so glad we were sharing it rather than one person eating it. SO sweet! The cheese grits were unnecessary but the best cheese grits of my life.

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Brunch: The Early Bird Diner. This was near our AirBNB.

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Drinks: Prohibition. Loved this place—the drinks were good, the ambiance was cool, the bartenders were dressed with suspenders.

Sightseeing: We went to the McLeod Plantation and it was really interesting. I chose that plantation because it told the story of the place from the point of view of the people who worked there: the enslaved peoples, and then later, the formerly enslaved people and the children of those who were enslaved. I feel like this is an area of our country’s history that we often try to pretend didn’t happen, or didn’t matter much, or frankly, doesn’t affect things today, when from the things we learned on the tour, it obviously still does. I didn’t want to just ooh and ah over what rich people got for themselves by owning other people and forcing them to work for nothing. It was a great tour, and I highly recommend.

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Otherwise, for sightseeing we just walked around all over the city. The Battery, College of Charleston, King Street, and all over.

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Camper thoughts: the hosts were wonderful, the bathroom situation wasn’t so great—it was not a regular toilet but something else-a marine toilet? and it worked okay, until an incident the last morning that I’m not going to talk about.

After Charleston, we drove to Edisto Island and Edisto Beach State Park. I’d had fond memories of camping at the beach with my family as a kid, and thought it would be fun. It WAS fun, but it was very hot and our campsite was not at all shady. We did have a tarp that we set up that helped a bit. We were within walking distance of the ocean though, which was very lovely. We spent some time in the water, but ended up getting more red right away than expected and our beach day wasn’t quite as fun as we’d hoped.

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Sightseeing: We went to Botany Bay Plantation. There isn’t much left of the Plantation except a stretch of totally untouched beach. Oh, and this bird that slowly walked in front of us while we were trying to drive.

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Food: We ate at the campsite some, but we had dinners out. We loved Whaley’s Restaurant and shared a fried seafood platter there. We also ate at the SeaCow Eatery for dinner and it was fine.

Then we drove to Clinton, South Carolina to visit my parents. We stayed there for two nights also (everywhere on this trip was two nights.) My mom and dad had some sightseeing planned as well, and we walked around Presbyterian College the first evening, played games, and then spent the next day in Greenville wandering around Furman University, up to Paris Mountain State Park and to downtown. Downtown Greenville has changed so much since I was younger—I never even really went there when I was young because there was no reason to. Now it’s very lovely. We ate lunch at  Tupelo Honey, walked around the Reedy River, and looked at an electric assist bike shop.

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Our final stop on the trip was Atlanta to see my friend April. She didn’t really have enough space for us so I’d found a place within 15 minutes drive of her that was a teepee. Yes, a teepee (through AirBNB). It definitely seemed to have air-conditioning, and access to bathrooms so I though it would be okay. It ended up being amazing!

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There was a huge backyard with two different teepees and a camper—ours was in the corner away from things. The hosts were really nice, and there were animals all around—7 chickens, a dog, a cat, a rabbit, and a fenced in area with goats and ducks! It was such a fun place to stay. I couldn’t recommend it more—we didn’t even take advantage of everything, but if you lived nearby it might be a great staycation as well.

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Brunch: Murphy’s Restaurant. I’d been there before because it’s an excellent brunch place within walking distance of April’s house.

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Museum: Atlanta History Center. We didn’t get to explore the grounds as much as we’d hoped because a huge storm came through! But it was really interesting and definitely worth a visit.

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Anyway! That’s it for the trip! It was a very nice time. I think Louie and I wished we’d been able to do something a bit less hot and more mountain-y but it was great to see family and friends, eat some wonderful meals, and enjoy almost two weeks of vacation.