I feel like this summer has been one big race to the end of July. That’s not to say that I haven’t been trying to live in the moment (whatever that means, since all we DO is live in the moment we are in…) but that there are so many things happening at the end of July and then in August that constant preparation and practice has been required, which makes the end of July the goal, which makes the summer a big race. And today is one of the big goals along the way, for my little sister Carrie is visiting and staying overnight with me and playing a concert with her trio at the Tavern of Fine Arts. I’m finishing my house cleaning and preparation (okay, so house cleaning isn’t exactly a forte of mine, but I do my best, or at least kind of my best) and hoping to get a good amount of practice in before their arrival.

Sometimes I feel that I am torn into many different pieces and directions, often failing to do any one thing good enough, much less all of them. And then other times I feel that indeed I can do all of these things, and more, and that I have spent my whole life building the skills required and working towards it. Right now I feel like my efforts toward the play have been really working out and that I am doing far better than I hoped. I feel underprepared for the upcoming recital, for a variety of reasons, but I know it’ll be a fun performance anyway, and that sometimes it’s good just to get up there and play for people. Let me remember that summer is not the best time to schedule a solo recital! I feel like I’m finally getting on top of my teaching scheduling for the fall, and I’m ready for our trip in August, for the most part. All the planning and lists are there, and after Carrie leaves it will be time to start actually pulling items off shelves and putting them together in piles or boxes. So perhaps, when I list it out like this, most of what I’m doing is happening well enough, some will work out in the end (another week is key to recital preparation, I think!) and other things aren’t entirely up to me, for instance, I can only hope that my students don’t suddenly come up with activities that conflict with their violin lesson time and expect me to fix it. (Lesson scheduling is always a very elaborate house of cards.)

I decided to socialize last night rather than get a good night’s sleep, which was needed (all work and no play makes hannah a dull girl?) but is definitely making the morning more challenging. Probably the cause of my rambling introspection as well, and will also accompany me as the excuse as to why I don’t have any photos here—I just haven’t uploaded anything recently! Trust me, once I get to traveling soon I’ll have so many pictures. And I have still been posting on instagram, so check me out there 🙂 Time to work now!

Time just flies, doesn’t it? My last blog post was June 22, and here it is July 3. I’ve been busy as usual, though not particularly MORE busy than usual. I often think of things I’d like or want to blog about, but then I just don’t sit down to do so. Right now I have a couple of hours to fill until it’s time to go to dinner, so I thought I’d make an attempt to talk about myself.

Not that talking about myself is hard! Simply that I’m a bit sleepy, and thinking about how I should be practicing or doing something more productive than blogging. Which is ridiculous, as blogging IS important to me, and is productive enough as it stands.

My parents were in town yesterday and today Louie has a guest of the family visiting us, so we’ve been doing some touristy things. I’ll work backwards.

Today we went to the Cahokia Mounds. I’d been a few years ago, directly after my separation, but this was a much more pleasant day. Time is a funny thing, isn’t it? You think you’ll always feel how you do, and you don’t.

I wouldn’t have guessed that I’d be back to Cahokia Mounds a few years later with these folks, because I didn’t know them. But I’m definitely for the better!

There are nearly 80 mounds in the area, but the biggest is called Monk’s Mound. We climbed up it, and there was a lovely view of the skyline! I presume that’s why the Cahokians built the mounds 😉

The city of Cahokia, a Native American city, was inhabited from 700 to 1400 AD with the peak between 1050 and 1200 AD. There were up to 20,000 people living there, which meant that it was not surpassed in population by any city in the United States until the late 18th century.

In contrast, Orvieto (where we went on our trip in May) had a population of about 30,000 by the end of the 13th century. It’s just really interesting to think of how different people lived in different parts of the world at the same time!

Working backwards. Yesterday my parents and I went to the zoo. I’d only been to the zoo for one other visit with them last summer, so it was great. I sometimes forget how much I actually do like animals, especially when the zoo isn’t terribly hot and crowded.

Giraffes really are the weirdest looking animals, aren’t they?

The orangutan was really strange. He or she was wearing a blanket of sorts like a shawl.

We spent a long time watching this polar bear splashing around in the water playing with a large ball. He was having the best time!

And the penguins. Love them. It was really cold in the penguin display house though, which makes sense but still! I am allowed to wish I’d brought a jacket.

My mother brought along my old trip journals from when I was a kid. We took two big “west” trips with my family, one in 1989 and one in 1991, and she encouraged us to keep journals. They are hilarious and wonderful to read! I’d thought it would help with my planning for our August adventure, but it didn’t really. It did make me nostalgic and laugh at how my criteria for a nice campground meant it must have a pool and how I documented every food item I ate. I was blogging but on paper. It makes me want to keep a trip journal on the upcoming trip, but more likely I will just take notes along the way and then blog later.

So what else have I been up to other than doing sightseeing around town? Practicing for my July 31st concert at the Tavern of Fine Arts…Rehearsing for the play I’m in—I am playing the part of “The Fiddler” in a play this month. It’s not a speaking role—it’s a “playing the violin” role, but it IS a role and rehearsals so far have been both fun and really interesting. The acting world is very different but we have similar goals (to say yes to so many things that cut into our actual income sources in order to keep ourselves too busy, I think?) and I’m learning so much…teaching students, RESCHEDULING students due to play practice…doing all kinds of stuff around the house…planning vacations…and feeling like as usual I don’t devote enough time outside of the house to doing things with friends and as a result I have no friends left (I don’t actually think that’s true, but I feel bad not seeing people in forever!).

There was a ton of housework involved in order to prepare for the guests! But I’m more pleased with how my home looks right now than since I moved in, so that’s real progress. I’m starting to feel like I’m getting ahold of everything I’m trying to do, even as I continually consider that I am trying to do too much! At least I’ve had a few days to relax and regroup, and having an hour here to blog before I want to get a bit of practice in is nice too. We have dinner plans, and tomorrow is a holiday, and I’m trying to remind myself that I’m basically on top of things and I don’t need to be so stressed, but it’s hard sometimes! Maybe it’s a sign that I am taking on too much, or that I need to work on some better relaxation or coping mechanisms, or who knows. I do sometimes think I worry too much and don’t do enough…which is probably a little crazy sounding.

So now, I can choose. Nap, practice, read…what should I do for an hour? How has your July been going so far?