Does anybody else feel like they work practically all the time? And then they keep finding new things that interest them and stuff to do and it all just starts cramming together into a blob of being busy all the time?

I know we need to find time to do things like get outside and run, but it’s either the only day in two weeks to relax, or there’s bad weather (not lately!) or there’s some pressing political rally to attend and I feel like I need to do that instead.

Life is mostly good though. I’m having a great time teaching college students in addition to my private students. I’m playing some fun music (today, Perseid Quartet concert!) and meeting new people all the time. I’m still getting better at the violin, even though I should have gotten a bow rehair and new strings for today’s concert. I’m taking strides to put myself first sometimes and other people first the rest of the time. And I realized the other day that I felt differently than I had in perhaps a decade, that I can do this, that I am in charge of my life, and that I feel more strong and confident than I have in a long time.

Honestly, moving to St Louis was one of the worst life moves I’ve made, but through it all I’ve made the best of it. I still feel sad occasionally about all the great opportunities I left behind in Cleveland, and then I get angry remembering how my ex used to disparage my career and life there. Good times! But now, I have a decently thriving private studio, two adjunct teaching positions, a somewhat successful string quartet (we have a GREAT time and that is probably what matters most, but we also do some good work), a few good friends…and a boyfriend who is supportive of my long hours and aspirations, and attends most performances too So it’s all pretty good, and the other things I’m doing here is working hard to make my life the way I want. Sure, the house needs work (lots of work) and I don’t make as much money as I should for the hours, but I mostly work for myself and I’m in charge…mostly.

I’m rambling again. Well, as usual. It’s been a busy few weeks, and though I feel like I’ve spent most of it dealing with email issues and other computer issues creating by the very people I work for (unintentionally I’m sure) at least some of it has been fun, and some of it worthy. Or something.

I’ve spent several meals at restaurants run by immigrants. Since immigrants are on the attack here in our country, I feel one of the things I can do is support businesses run by immigrants. Luckily I live in a city where there is no shortage of these businesses, and I’ve done my best to support them. This is the least I can do, while getting delicious, usually fairly inexpensive meals. After all, ethnic foods are cheap until white people start making them fancy, right? (That’s a whole thing to think about…)

Yesterday morning we attended a march in support of Planned Parenthood. Evidently some protests against Planned Parenthood were planned and people wanted to counter protest. However, the folks at PP didn’t want counter protestors protesting on site because that would still upset the people coming for care, so the March met elsewhere and then marched BY Planned Parenthood. We were instructed to not speak while going past the clinic, and not to engage with the counter protestors. We started marching, and were chanting and stuff, and then once we passed by people with signs that said “silence” we all fell quiet. It got really emotional and intense as there were people holding anti-choice signs, signs with pictures of fetuses, and more. One man kept yelling “why do you hate babies” at us. There was a line of policeman on bikes in between us and the majority of protestors, and we kept marching. I cried.

There was an article from NPR that said there were 4000 of us and that we walked by the clinic for 30 minutes. I hope that was a powerful statement of support for women’s health.

I feel a little nervous writing about this, because I know people get so worked up and angry…But that’s okay. I can’t worry all the time. I’m a strong, confident, woman, who is standing up for people who need support. I will use facts and statistics.

And then while walking the dog later…

Last thought for today: I see the argument, well, if you care about <insert cause> why don’t you do something about it yourself? I give money to various organizations that support my causes. And like I’d said before, my music, my purpose in teaching violin, is to make the world better through music. Let’s keep at it!

I’ve probably written a million blog posts titled Groundhog Day. We all think of the Bill Murray movie today, don’t we?

It’s been a busy week. And sad. In addition to everything else going on in the world, one of my students lost his father suddenly. Life is so short and we just don’t know how long we have. I am so sad for him and his mom, and hope they can keep moving forward.

Not to sound cliché, but this is why we work to make the world better. More inclusive. I teach. I practice (not as much as I need to, but it’s hard after opera week). I protested outside of Senator Roy Blunt’s office, against the ban on people from 7 countries, primarily Muslim. No, the executive order doesn’t say “ban”, but trump did, and Giuliani did, and many others did. There is, as always, a lot of misinformation going around, and it’s important to check your sources, but the fact is, this ban disproportionately affects people who are more likely to be Muslim, and that is not okay. Next it’ll be somebody else, or it’s be the Muslims who are already here, and that is not okay. None of this is okay. I’m sorry to dwell on this, but it’s a real danger to our way of life. People want Facebook to be “fun” again…well, don’t we all. Too bad the US elected a fascist for president.

If my schedule permits, I’ll be at another rally this Saturday.  We are the majority. I will hold out hope that we can make a bigger difference.

I’ll go a little more light-hearted. Tonight we are celebrating Taco Thursday at Seoul Taco. Saturday night I’m playing a concert at a retirement home with a flute/violin/piano trio. Sunday is brunch and who knows what else. I have several new students at the colleges and they are all really fun to teach. I suppose I missed my calling somewhere along the way

Today is my last day before vacation (for two weeks, mostly…one gig)!! I’m thrilled.

Christmas has snuck up on me this year. I think this year has been a tough one, as I’ve said, and honestly, I won’t be sorry to see it gone. Not that years matter because a calendar year is an artificial construct. But I’m ready to get away for a few days and hopefully get to relax a bit and then to come home and start up again fresh.

It’s never really fresh—the house needs a lot of work and is constantly a mess and it really starts to bother me. I can’t do enough about it though to get to where I want it to be. Sometimes I feel very helpless in life!

This time last year we were struggling with a large variety of pet health issues. Now we are single pet owners and while the medicine schedule is crazy sometimes, Mackenzie’s illness is well under control and it’s a wonderful thing. Her fur is thick and she has been shedding her normal, fairly obscene, amounts all over the house.

I haven’t done any baking this year. Really I haven’t baked much in awhile. Part of it is my current kitchen situation: it isn’t as conducive to wanting to bake! Another part is how busy I’ve been, and when I’m not working I’ve wanted to just read or sleep, or lie very very still. But yeah, the kitchen is in the basement, and it’s not my favorite place. I got ingredients for pumpkin bread and jam-filled butter cookies but never made them! The ingredients will keep though (maybe not the eggs, but otherwise) and maybe when I get back I’ll make a few things. I am planning a sour cream apple pie for Christmas dinner though

I feel like I’ve been posting when I’m overwhelmed and stressed and not enough other times. I’ve been thinking about goals for the new year and one is to write more. It helps me think through everything and helps me keep track of where I am.

So, did I tell you? We are going to California: to San Francisco, Berkeley, and the Sierra Nevadas (near Bear Valley). The good thing about Bear Valley is that it is winter so there shouldn’t be any bears. Though I remember learning from an old computer game that bears don’t hibernate, they actually just sleep, so they COULD get up and walk around in the winter.  (I tried to find what the name of the computer game was and couldn’t but then fell down the hole and am reminiscing about the game “Lemonade Stand” that we used to play a ton until we figured out how to beat it and then it wasn’t quite as fun. Does anybody know this trivia game? I recall we played until we memorized all the answers…)

I hope you have a great rest of the year. I’d say Happy Holidays but I hear that now we are required to wish everybody a Merry Christmas because it’s in the Bible and there is a War on Christmas (very evident as when I go to stores there is not sign of the holiday!).

Happy New Year too. Am I allowed to say that?