I’ve had a wonderful weekend. I’m not going to lie. It’s been awesome and lots of fun and I’m sad that it is nearly over.

The fun started Thursday night when I met April for dinner at Gringo. I don’t know if I’ve mentioned but Louie and I have decided to follow a vegetarian diet for about a month. So it’s been a fun challenge to see how to avoid eating meat. We are still eating cheese and eggs and all those delicious animal products but avoiding actual flesh.

So I read the description of my meal and I’m not sure what I expected but it was basically nachos with egg and avocado. Not too bad but not what I thought I was getting! We also split the guacamole which I love and had a few margs…well I did at least 😉

Friday was a busy day. It started with a trip to the dump and ended with dinner at Ranoush on the Loop and watching The Imitation Game. The movie was very good but I had a lot of questions afterwards about what was fact, what was fiction, and how a bunch of cryptographers failed to initially check for the most common word combinations when trying to crack a code. Turns out that part was fiction.

Saturday afternoon we took a hike, another from the book, 60 Hikes within 60 Miles of St Louis. I picked a hike around Howell Island Conservation area, but we made a few mistakes with that. Firstly, it was incredibly muddy at the beginning of the hike…which was also the end of the hike. And we didn’t realize there would be hunting. I think I read the phrase “conservation area” and assumed that meant “not killing stuff” and didn’t keep reading. But we did the long loop anyway, didn’t get lost in a field where the trail went kind of cold, and had a great time.

It was kind of a bleary day, but was actually really nice for January. It started drizzly towards the end and we got a bit nervous but it never turned into much.

After the hike we decided to go out to dinner, so we hit up Stellina Pasta since they had a few good looking vegetarian options. I got tagliatelle with spinach, mushroom, and a garlic cream sauce and it was really delicious. I wouldn’t ordinarily order food with a cream sauce, but the beauty of not eating meat is that you can get your calories from other fatty sources. Or at least I tell myself that. It’s nice, by the way, following a diet that isn’t about ME and is about not eating meat. I don’t know how I feel about this sort of thing sometimes…it’s hard to know what the best thing to do is, but it does seem that eating less meat is probably a good thing. I haven’t missed it too much because I’ve upped my pasta intake. I also plan to return to eating meat, because I don’t want to WORRY about things.

Today we had a family brunch (well, Louie’s family) with delicious pumpkin waffles made by his brother! I think I ate about 100 of them. Or four. Also the grapefruit was excellent. Then I actually had to do some work (ugh, work!) on the computer for a variety of things and we did manage to get to the gym. One of the things we are both trying to do is get workouts in when we can, and if that means mostly on the weekends (this time of year my weekends are light and freer) then we do it then. It works for me. I’m trying not to stress over what I can’t do and focus on what I can.

Oh, and I’m NOT watching the super bowl. I didn’t get any party invites and I don’t watch football (possibly related) so I’m just at home, thinking about dinner and Dr Who. And my to-do list for the upcoming week, which is of course huge and much more than I will actually accomplish.

I considered waiting to publish this until tomorrow due to the game, but then I remembered 1) any readers won’t be watching either, they will be just playing with their cats and 2) I don’t ACTUALLY have any readers since I don’t blog regularly enough nor on any actual topic.

This year I took an additional week off from teaching in January than I often do. It DOES make the month fly by! This week I started up again, and though I must admit I was dreading the first day of lessons, it ended up being a fun week seeing everybody again and getting back into the swing of things. Some of my students impressed me and practiced tons over the break. Some took some time off and are (hopefully) ready to get back into a routine. One told me he hadn’t practiced much at all, and while we were discussing how much he could practice this week to try to get back on track his mother overheard and told me that he had actually taken one week off from practicing over Christmas but then after that practiced every single day except the day before.

Incidentally, it’s been a busy week. I’m practicing for a quartet concert and a sonata concert in February. I met a couple of new people for “networking” purposes, one a long time twitter friend and freelance photographer, another a musician who lives nearby. I found out that the director of the band I gave way too much time to last year has decided to “let me go” because he deemed that a violinist who can also sing backup would be a better asset…which is okay because several of the other players that I admired most and enjoyed working with won’t be returning either, nor was I planning to, I was just waiting to get paid…(sigh).

One of the things that came up during one of my coffee meetings this week was my freelancing life. And it also came up talking with a friend from the band. That I am a fairly successful freelancer AND somewhat experienced at it. I keep forgetting how long I’ve been doing this…sometimes it feels like I just got started. But then people ask questions, and I find that I have (some) answers, and that while I make plenty of mistakes, and don’t make enough money, and probably let too many people walk over me, I have learned quite a bit over the years and might have advice to give people.

Okay, this sounds ridiculous, but it really struck me the other day when I thought, HEY I am doing some things right and I do have knowledge and experience in this and I am doing okay! Like, look at me. I’m a freelancer. I make a living playing and teaching the violin and (here’s the real kicker) some people might think that that is pretty cool and be perhaps, even slightly jealous. Not that I want them to be jealous, nor do I think they should be, but that all over the world there are people who wish they did music full time…and here I am doing it. Living the dream, if you will.

So I’m trying to think of myself as more of a success story than a failure. Granted, I worry about money quite a bit, and don’t have nearly enough saved for retirement at this time. But I’ve only been doing this for around 15 years, and I could probably work mostly full time another 30…so that means I’m only 1/3 in. Plenty of time to save, to earn more, to create, to learn, and to dream. (I added that last phrase for cheesiness purposes.) But honestly, looking at myself as a successful musician, a person who has been successful at making a living as a violinist her whole working career…that’s a really strange way to think about things for me. But I kind of like it. Perhaps this is the year of thinking more highly of what I do.

This year I decided to take an additional week off teaching over the Christmas break. Some of my more conscientious students were worried, but I felt due to how busy my fall semester had been and due to some remodeling projects at home I would need the extra week. What I didn’t think about was how I’d need the extra week just to catch up on emails and phone calls! This is only a slight exaggeration. Slight in that I have done neither of those things. I probably have voicemails on my phone from before Christmas that I need to return. (If you called and I haven’t called back, I’m so sorry! I was working so hard, and then I needed a break, and now I’m working on getting back to people slowly. Feel free to call again!)

Here’s another order of “business”: we got our CD’s in December and I didn’t tell you guys! If you want one, I can sell them to you for $20 with shipping and handling or $15 hand delivered. All of the proceeds go to the St Luke’s Life and Hope Fund, which helped my friend Jen out when she was going through her breast cancer treatments. We’ve already donated over $800 to the fund and have more CD’s to sell. You can pay via credit card and I’ll cover the fees, so just contact me if you are interested! Hannahviolin at gmail dot com. It’s a live recording of our recital together in October, and once they are gone, they are gone!

Fun stuff. I’ve decided to do one of those photo a day challenges on instagram. So far so good. I feel the urge to do interesting things in order to take photos of them. That’s probably a good side effect but might get exhausting. (I’m hannahviolin).

I like to think of looking back over the year and seeing a picture from each day though. Seems like fun. And I haven’t even used any cat pictures yet, unbelievably.

I mentioned a bathroom remodel. Here’s some awesome wallpaper that was uncovered!

And a horrific mold situation that is, yes, gone now, so don’t worry.

I’m going through some photos I might not have shared with you 🙂

Cinnamon rolls for Christmas.

Sad that I had to go to work on Christmas Eve.

One of my new year’s “resolutions” (I used quotes because I didn’t type up and laminate them) was to try to blog more regularly. I like the outlet social media and blogging gives me and I feel more connected to people through those things. I also like feeling creative and writing helps with that. So maybe you’ll see more of me in this space this year.

The holiday season is upon on us, and if retailers and the media are to be believed we need to go and show our love for our friends and family by buying them tons of stuff! And also buying stuff for ourselves, because surely we don’t have enough!

But I live in a house full of stuff. Too much stuff, in fact, that I can’t figure out where to put it…stuff to give away, stuff to use, stuff that I want to hang onto “just in case”…I don’t need more stuff. And I realized the other day I’m in a (I guess!) “lucky” situation in that I don’t have to buy stuff for anybody else either! I mean, sure, I’d like to get some gifts for my parents and boyfriend just because I don’t want them to think I don’t care, but I don’t have a long list of people I “need” to buy for, because the people I spend time with and care the most about don’t care about stuff either. Or we DO but we buy what we need when we need it, or when we can afford it, and manage to do without the rest. It’s kind of nice, and refreshing, and makes me feel good. I won’t deny that I love a random surprise gift, to know that somebody thought of me (I love gifts from students!) but it isn’t that important. Or maybe we are all in the same boat? I doubt it, because I don’t care about the new iPhone, or getting a new car, or what brand of anything I’m wearing or carrying, or really what people think of me if most of my wardrobe is cheap clothes from Target, and my impression is certainly that a whole lot of people care about those things!

But I digress.

The holiday season is a busy time. Especially for we musicians, who tend to work our butts off providing all kinds of holiday cheer for you fine people. You’re welcome. It’s fun though. I don’t want a Christmas without cheesy Christmas music, do you? (Don’t answer that.) This season for me is dedicated to the show I’m doing on electric violin—we were, in fact, on TV Friday morning. There’s video, and here’s the link. Check it out! Don’t laugh 😉

I think, for a classically trained Suzuki kid who really can’t dance, I do pretty okay rocking out, playing by ear, by memory, and with others. I don’t know what the next step with my electric violin will be, if anything, but it’s been an adventure. A tiring adventure to be sure, but it’s been different.

Sometimes I get crabby. I know last week I put up a few posts that made people think I was feeling down. I don’t know—maybe I was, maybe I wasn’t. A friend in the band suggested that we need to take what makes us happy and focus on that, to “find your joy” in your life and daily activities.

Today my joy is a bunch of things. Watching my cat play with a stuffed shrimp toy (omg, this sort of thing truly cracks me up!). Going for a run in the fairly mild weather we’re having. Wearing a bright red sweater. Texting with Leslie. Trying to decide what adorable thing to buy my niece for Christmas (not out of obligation but because I want to!) Planning some Christmas baking (cinnamon rolls, shortbread cookies). Looking forward to cuddling on the couch later and watching Dr Who (I have become absolutely obsessed with the show…). It’s easy to get overwhelmed with life and focus on negative things (student loans! tiny retirement accounts! too much junk/the house is dirty! too busy!) and harder to focus on positive things, but it’s important to keep working on my mindset.

In the meantime, here are some photos that my friend April took at our performance on Friday night. It was a fun show! And as a side note, I think it’s okay to be crabby occasionally 🙂

This is one of those weeks where I look at the calendar and think I must be crazy. April and I are throwing a “cookie exchange party” Friday and I’m planning my part of it. That includes baking cookies at some point, though I have a good recipe picked out! And making a cheese ball, and something else too probably. My quartet is playing for a composition class tomorrow, I’m getting my CD’s on Wednesday from Jen (woo hoo!) and the band has three shows this week. There’s only about two more weeks of teaching though (really, two weeks and part of a day) though those are five day weeks. Louie finishes up in two weeks too, and we’ve both been really busy and stressed out, and I’m SO looking forward to him being done with the semester so he can relax too.

One last thing, in this random post of everything…really a brain dump I guess…does anybody have any good book recommendations? I’m in the middle of a few non fiction right now but would love to find a great fiction book (or series.) Nothing too sci-fi or dystopian please.

So I realized after getting a few comments on my post yesterday that I might have come across a little bit sadder than I actually felt. But I SO appreciate it. It’s easy to forget that everybody goes through the same things! And part of trying to improve as a teacher, musician, and person is recognizing weaknesses…if we all thought we were perfect already we’d just get lazy, right?

I’m enjoying listening to some music lately. My quartet is learning Borodin’s Quartet no. 2 and I’m working on the Ravel and Franck Violin Sonatas with Jen and I’m really taking this morning to listen (and last night after I blogged) and learn from greater musicians than myself. I love how much music there is out there in the world, and that as I grow older I continue to learn new things. I started thinking about how much more of a performing life I have ahead of me (hopefully!) and how much more great music I hope to learn and perform.

Oh! So my band might be on Fox 2 news this Friday morning. It’s not completed confirmed yet but looks promising. I’ll probably tweet about it… (@hannahviolin) but you should check it out! I’d say set your VCR’s…

And this Friday we are playing in St Peter’s—not too far from home.

Speaking of! Do you young people know that people used to record shows on VCR? I was reading another blog recently that was about how Gilmore Girls is now available on Netflix, and how she was so excited because she hadn’t been able to watch them all because when you used to miss an episode, you couldn’t go online to watch it. Why no, you couldn’t, but if you were a true fan of a show you’d program your VCR to watch it. I used to live with my sister Leslie and we got really quite good about setting things up. It was especially entertaining with the antenna—you had to make sure the antenna was tuned to get good reception from the channel you wanted to record. It was harder if there were two shows on different channels and then you’d have to pick a way to set the antenna to get both channels decently. Life was hard back then! I realize there was also a time before programmable VCR’s but then you just had to rearrange your schedule around television shows or hope for reruns (which happened, and helped one out. It also helped that most shows you could miss one or two and be just fine…you didn’t-and still don’t!—have to watch them all in a row.)

(gratuitous kitty picture)

But honestly guys. Thanks for your kind comments on my feelings post. I didn’t even know people were still reading 🙂