Everybody says that they are busy, and everybody says that we shouldn’t talk about how busy we are because being busy is bad.
Of course, everybody doesn’t say both of those things, but as a freelance musician and teacher, the way the conversation goes is this:
“How are you?”
“Busy!”
“That’s good!”
I’ve had this conversation (is it a conversation if it’s just three sentences?) with many people over the years. And while it doesn’t allow for much nuance, the idea is: busy equals working, which as a musician is good.
One thing I have been struggling with is how MUCH I need to work. On the one hand, I enjoy what I do: I like playing concerts, I like teaching students (not every day, but I do enjoy working with them overall), I like seeing my colleagues at various rehearsals and working together, and I love music. So when I see a free space on my calendar and somebody asks about something, or when somebody asks about something that sounds super fun, I will make it work. At the expense of, I suppose, everything else.
Many of the podcasts and books for women are how to balance work and life, with work being work and life being family/children. What if you are trying to balance work and life, with life being friends and your partner and whatever ELSE it is that you want to do other than work, because you don’t have children? This is something that people used to talk about, when I was in my 20’s and early 30’s, but I feel like nobody talks about it anymore. It’s assumed, in our culture, that all women in their 40’s have children to balance around, and it is also assumed that any who don’t have children have this freedom to their lives to do whatever they like, whenever they like. And I do know some people who do tend towards the latter, but I’m sure there are other people out there like me?
So, what does a 40-something do when they have to work very long hours to make their career work the way they want it to, but they also want to have a good relationship with their partner, their family and friends? It’s hard to fit it all in, even without children! (And yes, I know how people with children do it: as the lower earner in my household I would be the one cutting out work.)
January and February are traditionally my less busy months, but as I’ve mentioned here, that isn’t the case for this year. It’s a variety of things, but mainly because I took on four different chamber music concerts, two candlelight concerts (a new addition) and a two week run of a show at the Fox theatre, doubling on violin and viola…doing all that with teaching is a bit busy. If you are asking, how do I make it work, the answer is, extreme calendar organization, panic, and years of experience. The good news is, two of the concerts are today which will lighten the load a little bit. And then I have three days off (well, one day off, one day doing colonoscopy prep, and one day having and recovering from the procedure.) I should get some good reading in!