Picture Annoyances

I wanted to write more blog posts of our trip but I’ve been struggling with how to get my photos from my phone into a format that I can use on this blog program. I normally have been emailing myself photos (yes, tedious) but the other that just stopped working. I guess I was trying to email too many photos at once, but instead of my phone saying that, it just said okay and then did absolutely nothing! I then tried another thing, uploading all my photos to google photos (they are in iCloud already, but my computer is a PC and I’ve not had any luck in the past with having that be helpful) and then I finally got that done after a few days, and then I just went to try to add one to the blog here, and nope, didn’t work. It looks like those photos are in a different format (HEIC) and I’ll have to do another workaround. I could just plug my phone into my computer directly and transfer photos that way but that would seemingly require me transferring all my photos as there are like ten different folders of photos and they don’t necessarily seem to be organized by date in any way (this is the only way I want my photos organized.)

Any suggestions, readers? I will figure this out eventually, but it is causing me to be annoyed.

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It still works to email one photo to myself! This is Louie and I on top of Bunsen Peak in Yellowstone.

It has been a busy week. I’ve had a full teaching schedule (I’ve added a few more students this fall, just squeezing people in!) and have been hard at work on a project I set myself up as well. I’ve taken so many teaching pedagogy courses and such over the years and so I am reviewing the material I’ve been given over this time (it is all organized in binders by level) in a methodical way. I’m making an outline of my personal teaching ideas and really working on it. I have decided that since this is what I’m doing, I want to do it really well…I’ve always considered myself a pretty decent teacher, but I think I can be more methodical (often an issue I have). In an online seminar I was watching this week the teacher said something about how you can give the student a lot of bricks but you have to have a plan for the house or it’ll just be a pile of bricks. I’ve been working through all my students and determining what more I need to be doing for them. This has been fun and time consuming.

Now sometimes, it’s on them. Some of them just don’t practice enough, no matter how much I cajole. But others DO and I just need to make sure they know specifically what they should be practicing. Easy as that Winking smile

So that’s where I am, busy teaching, busy reading, doing a bit of practicing, getting ready for a little band livestream this weekend. How are you doing?

Yellowstone…Or Not (Part 1)

Sometime in early May, when we were all really stuck inside the house, I saw something on Facebook about camping in Yellowstone, and I thought, yes, why not! So even though at the time I actually thought there was no way we would even be allowed to travel cross country in late July, I booked several nights camping (with fully refundable reservations) and then I started to plan out a two week road trip getting there and back.

I titled the document, Yellowstone…or not. Because I didn’t want to get too excited about it, and well, because I didn’t think it would happen. But planning the trip gave me something to do, and something to think might maybe happen. As it got closer, I started to worry that even though we COULD go, maybe we shouldn’t. Would it be a stupid thing to do? After all, there are people that don’t wear masks and go out to eat as if nothing has changed, when still most of my friends are unemployed or underemployed, and entire sectors of the country (the arts and music in particular) have completely shut down, with absolutely no end in sight. (It is worth noting that this week alone I have lost four weeks of theater work that I would have had in the fall.)

But we decided to go. Louie and I decided that yes, maybe it was a stupid thing to do, and yes, we were upping our COVID risk, but we would do our best to be safe, we would always wear masks inside, near people, and we would never eat in a restaurant or spend any significant amount of time inside near people. Additionally, we planned to try to social distance outside as much as possible and avoid the busiest places at the busiest times. I was under no impression than Yellowstone wasn’t busy at this time: I had read online that that visitation from UP from normal years, and that the area was completely slammed, but I also knew if we set out on foot, perhaps 50 yards from our car, crowds would dissipate and I knew that the Park was huge and we could get away from people no matter how busy it was.

We set out on the morning on a Saturday and headed west. We had packed a good amount of our food for the trip though we planned to get takeout here and there and do a few drive-throughs along the way as well. The first day we had about an 11 hour drive planned, from St Louis to Bridgeport, Nebraska. It was a long day driving, but we listened to the 1619 Podcast and enjoyed the scenery. If you let yourself enjoy the scenery, Missouri is nice and Nebraska is actually quite beautiful with the cornfields and the open skies.

We stopped a few times along the way, lunch at McDonalds (did the drive thru, ate outside out of car), snacks and cold drinks from the cooler. We got to Bridgeport around 8:00 and first ended up at the wrong motel! Somehow in inputting the address I had put the Meadowlark Motel instead of the Meadowpark Hotel and we ended up about 1/2 mile from where we wanted to be (at a motel that didn’t look like I thought it should, nor was it very nice, plus no reservation..then I realized, oh, this is entirely the wrong place yet somehow the name is so similar, which frankly is just really weird.) Nonetheless we ended up at the motel I had booked which was perfectly nice. It was part of an RV Park as well, so we were in one of a small amount of very decent motel rooms which overlooked a nice grassy area. We relaxed outside of our room enjoying the fresh air for a bit before going to sleep.

The next morning we found a nearby Taco John’s for breakfast. Last year we had inadvertently discovered Taco John’s and their Potato Ole’s and fallen in love, and we made a point a few times to visit this summer when possible (there are none near St Louis.)

We drove about an hour west in Nebraska until we reached our first quasi-destination for the day. Chimney Rock! Now, there wasn’t much to do, but last summer we had driven by in the night and this summer I wanted us to see it during the day.

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Chimney Rock was a famous landmark for people on the Oregon Trail back in the day. There’s a lot of Oregon Trail history in this area (and really, the land is very beautiful) which is both cool to read about but then you start feeling kind of weird and awful about the idea of settlers and all of the colonization taking place back then…being taught all of this land was open and nobody lived on it, when in fact, there were tens of thousands of Native Americans already living there.

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But it is a kind of cool landmark. There was an RV Park right next to it which looked like the place to stay if you really liked Chimney Rock.

Next we drove on into the empty space towards Agate Fossil Beds National Monument. I thought we should see a different National Monument in Nebraska than last year and as always the National Parks Service did a good job. The drive north from the Scottsbluff area was really beautiful, full of nothingness and cell towers and farmland, but gorgeous (in an understated way, not in an obvious Montana way). At one point the birds were really on the road and didn’t like to get out of the way of the car and that led to a rather upsetting moment and after that we honked the horn every time.  Finally we arrived at Agate Fossil Beds, and not a moment too soon as I really had to go the bathroom by then. The tough part of road trips is that you never realize how often you use the bathroom until you can’t just go whenever you want.

The visitor’s center was closed, but they had nice portapotties out front and there was a ranger there as well giving out maps and information. We did the two trails there and learned about the area and why it is a National Monument. The first trail we did was the Fossil Hills Trail which is about 2.7 miles. Back closer to 1900 men found  a lot of the fossils in the area and excavated them (with horse and wagon) and took them to various museums further east. Nowadays we tend to leave the fossils in place for further study but back then it was thought to collect them for museums for people to visit more easily. Many of these fossils were of animals that are now extinct but that lived long after the dinosaurs, bear dogs, giant pigs, small rhinoceroses, and land beavers. We had learned about some of these animals at the museum in Branson the year before as well, so it was nice to see them again in a more reputable source.

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This was part of where the fossils had been. It was a neat hike up a large hill.

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Doesn’t this just scream “America” at you? Of course some of us know that America means more than wheatfields and cowboy hats, but it’s very “Americana” I guess.

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The first of many selfies we took on the trip. Hardly anybody was around, though we did pass a few people on the hike. We had our masks handy, though I don’t know if taking it in and out of your pocket is actually that effective?

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The Ancients Beavers made these spiral burrows. This was on the second trail we did called the Daemonelix Trail, only about 1 mile. The heat of the day was getting to us by now (it was noon or so by now) and the sun was hot! We really enjoyed our visit to the Agate Fossil Beds National Monument. It’s too bad the visitor’s center/museum was closed because we peeked in and saw some nice looking displays, but we doubt we will go back—it wasn’t too out of the way, but it was a bit out of the way from anything!

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Next we were headed to Wyoming. Our destination for the evening was a campsite at Boysen State Park’s Lower Wind River Campground. We drove about 4  or so more hours, many of them on roads that were under construction, but Wyoming is so beautiful we hardly even minded.

We got to Boysen around 5 pm and found our campsite easily. It was a small campground, with water and vault toilets (that means, they don’t flush, they sort of compost and are totally decent when they aren’t used very much). We had a nice site near the river, but the downside was that the campground was right near a highway. I’d thought the traffic would die down overnight but I’m not sure it did.

We set up our tent and then explored Boysen State Park further. There is a gorgeous reservoir formed by a dam in the Canyon. I think the Park is mostly used for water recreation, but it was really gorgeous.

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Right near our campsite.

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I loved our campsite. We weren’t right by the water (I’d had a hard time deciding which site to reserve and possibly should have picked the one over, but we were Site 13 and it ended up being quite nice.)

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Just a cool rock formation with the Forester. And below, the sun over Boysen Reservoir.

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An excellent selfie by the Wind River, in the possibly better campsite (which was unoccupied). We were right near a few tunnels as well, a couple for the road and a couple for the train, which was neat to watch coming in and out of the tunnel.

We made our first camping meal of mac and cheese with tuna and canned peas (what can I say, we eat like kings while camping) and made a fire. They didn’t actually sell firewood at the campground which is unusual but we found a bit to burn and the camp host said we could have a few logs and we took her up on it. We would have enjoyed the evening more with a few less biting flies though, and turned in on the early side.

The next morning we had to pack up the tent. We were off to nearby Thermopolis next to visit Hot Springs State Park.

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The town of Thermopolis feels like a throw back from the 70s or 80s. Lots of independent motels and in the park there are two privately owned hot springs play areas which feel very 80s with music, water slides, pools and more. But our destination ended up being the public baths, because you get a free 20 minute soak, it was outdoors for the most part and it wasn’t crowded at all. We hit the jackpot because we could also shower for free while there!

The hot springs in Thermopolis are formed differently than the hot springs in Yellowstone but I have already forgotten the difference. The park was lovely, not crowded and was nice to just wander around. There is also a scenic drive and a bison herd!

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We walked across this bridge.

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The colors caused by the various organism in the hot waters are really gorgeous. The round building in the background is Hellie’s Teepee Pool, one of the privately owned pool/bath places.

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More hot springs.

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One of the neat things is when you find evidence of the CCC, the Civilian Conservation Corps. These stairs were built to help people get to the hot springs here and soak in the water I guess. Back in the day (1920-1950’s) people went more crazy over hot springs and would even camp in the area in order to take advantage of them. (Sometimes I feel like I’m failing a test when I am trying to remember what we saw in order to tell you. I do write some things down, but not everything. I don’t recall exactly what these steps were to, but I do recall they were built by the CCC and that I always enjoy a good set of stone stairs).

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We drove up the scenic drive. There was also hiking to be done, but it was hot and we didn’t feel like doing more than just walking around after having showered and cleaned up! We also found the bison herd but they weren’t too close to the road so we just said hello from the car (not really, but yes) and moved on, knowing there would be more to see in Yellowstone!

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We had to stop for pictures by this crazy thing. It was called the Teepee Fountain and what will blow your mind is that it is sort of man-made.

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This sign shows how it initially looked and the water has done the rest over the years! It was built in 1909 to vent steam and over the years the mineral deposits from the water have built it up.

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Our last stop in Thermopolis was just down by the river again.

After that, we hit the road again, headed to Cody, Wyoming. People on Trip Advisor love the town of Cody, and the one thing we would like to do someday but we didn’t want to do this time was visit the museums. Cody has what they call “5 museums in 1” about the west: history, art, weapons, and more, and supposedly the museums are Smithsonian quality. I didn’t think a pandemic was the best time to visit a museum that they say you should devote the whole day to, so we just stopped by and then had camping reservations at nearby Buffalo Bill State Park.

When we got to Cody we saw a sign for Mexican Tacos from a Truck (living the dream) and so we screeched to a halt and quickly ordered. We ate outside at a picnic table surrounded by a parking lot and it was glorious. You had your usual suspects, the people who didn’t wear masks when ordering (the people in the truck were wearing masks) and then the guy who left his truck idling the whole time he waited on his order (there was nobody in the truck and no, it just doesn’t take that long to cool your vehicle back down, but eating next to an idling truck sure is less comfortable). Perhaps this is why we didn’t like Cody that much: the people. After our late lunch we picked up a few supplies at the grocery story, which thankfully had a mask requirement, and then we walked around the downtown area a bit. We didn’t feel terribly welcome for the most part because we saw just a few too many t-shirts about how the current president was the best, and so after an hour or wandering or so (and wondering if it would rain) we continued on our own way.

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We stopped at the Buffalo Bill Dam next. It was just starting to storm when we got there, so we stayed in the Visitor’s Center a littel longer than I might have liked, but it wasn’t too busy and there were some very interesting exhibits and a short movie telling you how the dam was made. (Hint: it was very difficult to make and went way over budget). One thing I noticed was how many casualties were acceptable—these days people don’t expect any casualties during construction jobs but back 100 years ago dozens of people would get hurt and/or die, no big deal, seemingly. Nowadays we only expect that for school children from gunshots, I guess.

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The storm passed fairly quickly and then it was hot again. I didn’t get many pictures for two reasons: fear of heights, and being a little too close to the dam for good pictures.

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Our next stop for the day was our campground at Buffalo Bill State Park. We had a site booked at the North Shore Campground, and it was a beautiful location! The weird thing about this campground was that the water was centrally located in one place that wasn’t really walking distance from the site. Our site was a walk-in tent site and was an absolutely gorgeous location, though. (The next morning we had a bit of a miscommunication and I regret not understanding that Louie thought we should stay longer, whereas I was in “go-go” mode and wanted to get to Yellowstone. This ended up with us having an argument and both feeling bad..it’s hard for me sometimes to just be in the moment and relax when I know so many places the early bird gets the worm and waiting too long means that you end up with huge crowds, but this wasn’t that case and we should have stayed longer…vacations can be hard, especially camping vacations! But I digress…well, one more digression is that I was super stressed going into this trip about COVID and whether we even had the moral right to go on vacation, and that was hard to deal with also…)

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The view of where we parked versus where our campsite was. Now, we have learned over the years to always stake the tent down. Children, let me tell you, you must always stake your tent down as well as you possibly can. Never say, oh, it’s very pleasant now. It could storm or be windy at any point and you will regret it if you don’t tie your tent down the very best way you can.  We have learned though, so we did it, and we were very glad later, because the wind picked up tremendously and this was one of the windiest sites we had ever had!

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But it was gorgeous. Right by the Buffalo Bill Reservoir, and very private too. There were wooden fences around it too.

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For this campground they did sell firewood but we weren’t sure if they would so we bought some in Cody, just in case. You never know, and it usually turns out if we don’t have wood it isn’t there but if we do we shouldn’t have bought it and would have gotten a better deal at the campground.

After unpacking the tent we went out to do a little exploring in the area but realized truly the best view was from our campsite (Tent Site 4), so we went back. That’s when the wind had really picked up and we knew if we hadn’t tied everything down as well we easily could have lost the tent! But it was totally fine and we made a dinner (in the wind, it was tough!) and again went to bed early to finally get out of the wind.

I’ll leave this blog post here. Next stop: Yellowstone!

COVID Travel

I’m back! We went away for two weeks, a road trip to Yellowstone with stops along the way. If you follow me on instagram you already saw some pictures, but I will share more over the next week or two with you.

I wasn’t sure if this was a trip we should take, but I’m so glad we did. I know I’m not alone in this, but I really needed a break, and I really needed to get out of the house and away. Louie and I decided the risks from COVID could be lowered through careful stops, masks, and social distancing, and that our mental help really needed a break. We all have varying degrees of deciding what is right, and what is risky, and what is acceptable. We set up a plan and ground rules for ourselves.

Our plan was the same as driving to Chautauqua and back in the weeks prior: trying to stop only at larger truck stops or rest areas for bathrooms, trying to avoid touching things as much as possible, wearing masks at all times inside and when too close to other people outside. This means we did not eat out at any restaurants except for a few occasions when the outdoor seating was responsibly distanced and we felt comfortable with that. We did takeout a few times, did find ourselves in a crowded grocery store once (though everybody was masked, thank you Montana state law), and the only time we were inside without masks was brushing our teeth at the campgrounds and in a couple of private hotel rooms.

I think it worked out. I don’t know, maybe we will both come down with COVID in the next week, but we felt like did our best, and that we made it work. We always had the plan that we could bail and drive home if needed, and we brought our passports, just in case somehow things got super awful while we were gone and we needed to attempt to flee the country (ridiculous of course, since nobody would likely take us in as refugees since we have been so awful in our own country to refugees).

So I’m back, and today I’m back to work and catching up on everything that I missed out on. Which there is quite a lot, so many emails, a little job application which ended up requiring cajoling a few colleagues for recommendations (if I get the job, it’s part time and I’ll tell you later, but either way is okay with me). I had a few computer and Ipad issues already today, and made a delicious eggplant and pickled beet sandwich for lunch.

I’m working on a lot of ideas right now and I really ought to practice a bit because I am quite out of shape! I have a few teaching seminars I’m attending this week and next, though nothing as intense or personal as the ones earlier this summer. My main idea is that I am going to work on putting together a more methodical “curriculum” of my own personal teaching ideas, from beginning and then so on, rather than just pulling things together as I go. Maybe if I have a real methodical approach my students will be better served…I also just want to take some time to really study and analyze what I’m doing that is working and what isn’t, and also to figure out how to add in some other music outside of the traditional Suzuki canon, to represent more diverse voices. It occurred to me that I am sort of at a midpoint of my career and now is an excellent time to do some reflection about how to proceed further. I’ve got so much material on hand but really should streamline my methods rather than being so flung out.

In any case, how are you? I feel far less stressed and much more relaxed than before. It was really nice not checking the news as often, though I do like to stay a bit in the loop…I’m letting myself relax because, there’s nothing I can do other than vote right now. And donate to good causes and try to work as hard as I can. So I’ll be getting things done, making music, and hopefully continuing to enjoy some weekends…

checking in

I feel like so much and yet so little are going on! So much, in that we drove 11 hours to Western New York to visit my sister and her family last week. So little, in that once we got there we tried to avoid other people as much as possible and the same once we got home. I feel guilty for having gone, I feel guilty for having wanted to go, and I feel like it was definitely worth the risk and nothing about any of this is fair.

Every decision we make about when to leave our houses, when to socialize or not, is wrong in somebody’s eyes and is being judged. I read people saying they don’t go anywhere and take every precaution and yet got COVID and then also, by the way, they visited with 10 other family members, unmasked, who mostly all also got COVID. And then I think, that could be us, except if it were to happen, I wouldn’t say I didn’t do anything. I would say, yes, I drove 11 hours to visit them, I wore a mask every time I went inside a truck stop or rest area to use the bathroom, I packed food except for one meal, and we ate every meal outside or in our car. We washed our hands excesssively, used wipes and hand sanitizer on every given opportunity, and once we arrived at my sister’s house we hugged those kids like it was the last time we would see them.

I know no matter what we all do there is a risk, but some things are more risky than others. I’m still limiting my outings, but I probably go inside stores 1 to 2 times a week now rather than 1 time every two weeks.

And then we are planning a two week camping trip…we are going soon, and frankly I can’t wait, but I also feel worried and guilty about it. I think, according to best practices, we will be as safe as we can be not actually just staying at home, but that’s the thing, we would be safer just staying at home. I think that mentally not going anywhere would be very challenging…I feel privileged to be able to take vacations and such, but being able to travel and take some time off is such an integral part of the life I’ve chosen, and we think it’s an okay risk to take. We can avoid crowds, we can wear masks when we go inside, we can eat all of our meals outside, we can hike, and we can sit by the fire and enjoy the night air. I think it’ll be okay, but I don’t know that. I figure that really, the most dangerous part is still probably the drive!

So there’s all my crazy “in head” thoughts about the pandemic. I get overcome when I read about other countries who are in better places than we are, and so I just choose to focus on what’s ahead. Our leadership has utterly failed us, but that doesn’t mean we give up and despair. It means we keep on keeping on, while doing what we can to enact change. We humans can adapt to almost anything, and we have all done a wonderful job adapting. If we all wore masks, last week they said we could kick this pandemic in 4 to 8 weeks. That would be 3 to 7 now.

Now for a bunch of pictures from the trip.

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Putting masks on her animals so they don’t get “the virus”, as she calls it.

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Swimming in Lake Erie.

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Taught this little guy to show his belly button on request. He also learned how to find other people’s belly buttons, or “bebos”. IMG_4858

We did not need this because hardly anyone was on the grounds. This is a popular summer festival called Chautauqua, which was canceled, but people still own homes on the grounds so some were there.

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We picked blueberries. Altogether we picked 20 pounds of blueberries, which was a lot. I have some in my freezer here.

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We made a recipe for a “Blueberry Buckle” from the New York Times. It was very good.

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We did a short hike on the Frank Cusamano Trail which had a stretch very near my sister’s house. I mistakenly assumed there weren’t bugs in New York.

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Aunt pile in the hammock!

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I had just taken an online seminar about teaching kids improvisation so I set her up with a track to play along with. She could hear it better with headphones and I think they also made it a bit more fun.

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On Chautauqua Lake.

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At Panama Rocks, which she called alternately, Panada Rocks or Panana Rocks.

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At Bemis Point, on Chautauqua Lake.

Thoughts about driving east: everywhere indoors and many outdoor places in New York State, everybody wore masks. In Ohio at truck stops, still quite a lot of masks. Indiana, not as many, and so on. I think that places should provide masks (well, I think the government should provide them) and require people to wear them. I suspect a certain percentage of non masked people have simply forgotten, and another percentage won’t do it unless required. Sure, some people get angry and shoot up the place when asked to wear a mask, but let’s not pretend they weren’t just looking for an excuse, after all, a certain percentage have always been happen to shoot up a place.

When I left my family visit, I hugged my niece and told her I’d at least see her next summer. They live in Phoenix during the year, and that’s a long drive. (I can’t imagine flying again any time soon.) She said she hoped the virus would be gone soon so we could see each other.

I know that the government has taken a lot of things from a lot of people, but that’s what they’ve taken from me with their mishandling of the virus. I don’t know the next time I’ll see any of my family. I know many people, especially immigrants, have it much worse, but I just think of all the people who said, oh, you’re overreacting, it won’t be that bad. I can’t see my parents. We can’t leave the country, for the most part. And I may not see my niece and nephew again for another year. You know how fast kids grow, right? This is what the GOP has taken from us with their complete yet purposeful mishandling of the pandemic. They are intentionally letting it run rampant because they think it will help them in the next election, and making us all prisoners in our communities, in our homes. Everyday we live with stress, anxiety, fear, and have no idea what the future will bring, and we know exactly whose fault it is, and yet, what do we do? We pick blueberries. We hike. We feel guilty every time we step out of the house and we blame our friends for doing the same.

Rhubarb

I am officially obsessed with rhubarb, though I don’t have any more. I had been getting some from the CSA the past two times and from the grocery store twice, and chopping it up and freezing it, and now it’s all gone, and there wasn’t any at the grocery store today.

I’ve made a rhubarb dump cake, which was tasty (I didn’t feel like making pie crust, even though a pie sounded better) and I made two kinds of jam, one rhubarb vanilla and one much larger batch of strawberry rhubarb, which I consider a classic.

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I hadn’t worked with rhubarb or cooked with it in any way as an adult until this season, and now I just want more. I don’t know if now I’ll have to wait until next summer.

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I got confused and thought today was Tuesday for a brief period of time. I got a few groceries and when I got back I parked in the driveaway instead of on the street, because I thought it was Tuesday and we had street cleaning. Then I started wondering why the tornado sirens were on a Tuesday, and then I realized it was Monday. Mondays are tough!

I have been thinking about getting back into my cross stitching. I’ve been doing a lot of good reading, and making some jam obviously, but I haven’t been feeling like playing extra violin (some might call this practice, and it’s hard practicing for concerts in the fall that are probably just going to be canceled but haven’t been yet). I have a few cross stitching kits I bought, but then never did. Truthfully, I stopped stitching in January because I did something to my hand and it was hurting too much, but that has long not been an issue. The other issue is light…I don’t have a great place to stitch at home. I was doing a lot in my rooms where I taught, and it was a great thing to do to kill time when students didn’t show up for their lessons. Anyway, maybe I’ll start getting back into that, or maybe after my travels happen I will (if they happen, haha!).

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I really want us to go on our camping trip out west, but I worry it is the wrong thing to do. I am jealous that many people have been going places, but I also feel bad because many people aren’t, and I worry we are part of the problem. How can I rationalize going on a vacation when so many things are going on, and when this virus is rampant? Yet, if we can go and stay mostly apart from other people, make our own meals, and camp/hike mostly, shouldn’t that be okay? But then I feel like it’s an unnecessary risk, and the thing with risks is, once you take one, you feel like taking more. For instance, you visit a friend, and you go in their house without masks, and suddenly you think, well, this was fine, so you want to do more of that. And then you just let your guard down entirely, and then what, a cruise to Europe? But it is a slope, and you start feeling like various things are okay (which may or may not be) but then I start to worry I should be teaching in person in the fall if I can go on a trip. Even though the risks of teaching in the fall in person are totally different from a road trip…the gray areas here are so difficult! And does it make sense to skip a vacation out of principle? Even if you think you can take all reasonable precautions (and probably some unreasonable ones?)

I miss my pre-covid life. Don’t we all? Of course I’m grateful to have my health, and my employment, such as it is. So many are struggling and I’m not. Mentally and emotionally, yes, I am, but financially I’m not. I’m lucky in that I have a very low cost of living, for one main thing, and various other factors. But it doesn’t mean I don’t miss doing things, having friends, going to concerts, all of that. I don’t miss eating out enough to actually go and do it, but it would be so nice to have somebody else clean up the dishes after I eat a meal (and I don’t mean Louie)…I miss ordering things and sitting there and people watching, and eavesdropping on conversations. I miss meeting a friend for lunch between lessons and talking about work and life and all the things that used to matter in the pre-covid times. I miss going to a concert on a Saturday night with friends. I miss playing concerts and having the thrill of performance and the joy of making music with others. I miss feeling like each day is different because evenings were full of activities and we left the house more than once or twice a week.

Sure, we are still doing stuff. I had a little live stream with my band, but it wasn’t the same as playing with my quartet. I’ve had a few socially distance gatherings with friends, but I haven’t been super comfortable with them, because I worry too much. We get takeout and you can just eat out of those containers and then throw the away. It’s nice having free weekends to relax, and I have lots of time to cook delicious food and work out and all of that makes me feel good. And weird things, like my family has a weekly zoom meeting with one of my aunts as well, and it’s fun to feel so connected to them…but I feel so disconnected from everybody else! I feel like I only know how to talk to Louie and my cats.

Sigh. I know that I’m not alone in all of this, and that as many people that are out living their lives, many more are staying at home for the most part, stressed, feeling isolated, all of that. But I miss people! I think it doesn’t help that even in normal times I would love to have a few more friends that I see regularly, but my work schedule is tough, and then I love my work colleagues and have fun with them, but then…I don’t see any of them anymore, of course.

Life isn’t so bad though. We’ll get through it, and we humans are so adaptable…to a fault, likely!

4th of July

It doesn’t feel like a holiday, and that’s okay. There isn’t a barbecue or cookout to attend. There isn’t an official fireworks show. There isn’t a functioning federal government with an appropriate response to the pandemic we are living in. Yet, life goes on.

I’m playing a short concert with my friend Michael and our band this afternoon. It’ll be hot and I’m sort of regretting it, but I agreed because it’s good to get out of the house. It’ll be livestreamed at 3 pm CDT.

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It’s been over a week of cooking at home. This isn’t so bad: I’ve gotten much better at cooking and improvising pretty decent meals. Last night we made pasta with mushrooms and kale from the CSA, a teeny amount of chard from the garden, and preserved lemons I’d made a few months ago. I’ve made a few jars of fridge pickles lately with some things from the CSA too: dilly green beans and dill pickles. Those will be ready to eat when we get back from our trip to Chautauqua. If we can take it…so far Missouri isn’t on the quarantine list for NY.

It’s hard to know what to do: we’ve been pretty cautious, and we think this is an okay risk to take. We also still want to do our camping trip later in the month. Camping isn’t a hugely risky thing, we’ll stay apart from people as much as we can while hiking, cook or pack our own meals, wear masks, I have loads of wipes and such…the other option is just sit at home and wait, and part of me says, if Louie is supposed to be back in the classroom in September we might as well take these risks now because that is certainly risky…not that that’s a good way to look at things, but as I’ve said before, I start to feel like a crazy person trying to avoid this virus that so many have just given up on.

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(And then I remember that I am teaching online from home and haven’t played a real concert or a show since March and it is unlikely that will happen again in the next 6 months, because without a strong federal response to this pandemic, we are on our own and thousands and thousands will suffer and die, needlessly, as other countries have shown us.)

I started blogging feeling pretty good so I’ll try to return there. Are you doing anything fun for the holiday? I asked one student that earlier this week and she said “setting off fireworks in our backyard!”

thoughts about violin, teaching, running, life.