Random thoughts

Groundhog Day

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I’ve probably asked in years past, but since I don’t have any actual readers (just kidding, long time readers!) I figured I’d ask again: when you were a kid did you know about the groundhog in NY or just use the weather outside to determine whether it would be winter or spring? I always thought it was the individual weather in the place where you lived, not some national thing. I suppose that was pre-Groundhog Day, the movie. Anyway, it was raining here, so the groundhog (which is quite different than a prairie dog, I looked it up, not like mountain lions and cougars and pumas which are all one magical mythical creature) wouldn’t have seen his shadow and been scared back in. Woo hoo winter is no longer coming!

I don’t exactly work in a nonprofit, but I have certainly worked for a lot of them, and so this article was very entertaining to me. If you are in the nonprofit world you might find it entertaining as well. The rest of the blog is probably worth poking around too if you have some extra time (aka if you are self employed like I am and am avoiding the rest of my to do list at this time…)

Louie and I have gotten in the habit of meeting for lunch on Tuesdays after my quartet rehearsal near his work. It’s nice and feels like we are real adults with jobs. To be fair, he is (which is awesome—I’ve never dated somebody truly gainfully employed before and I’m so proud) but I am, as they say, self-employed. But it’s neat because my rehearsal is near his work and the scheduling works out. I remember when I first graduated from high school being out and about during the school day was so strange! Now I run most of my errands while other people are at work, and I get overwhelmed by the traffic otherwise. Aka I love having lunches, and I especially love that I have a little more time than most people do for lunch if I want it. Perhaps having lunch out is a sign of success? It’s a nice way to celebrate the middle of the day, and goodness knows we all need more celebrations.

Public service announcement: if you own cats, just don’t have flowers! Or at least know that lilies are very poisonous to cats. My sister had a bit of a scare and had to take both her cats to the hospital for emergency treatment. It looks like everybody will be okay, but better in the future to just avoid it altogether by making sure not to have lilies in the house, or at least very out of reach, and we cat owners know that very few places are truly out of reach. (Do you ever think that pet owners are truly crazy, the lengths we go to change our lives around our pets? Then again, imagine being a parent…that’s really crazy!)

Back to work! I have a couple more hours of teaching and then I get done earlier than usual to go to a rehearsal. It always feels like I’m getting done early when that happens, but since I’m not home until after 10, I’m not actually getting done early. Weird how things feel different?

Cat, Deep Thoughts

A New Month

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Perhaps February will be a better month! I’m happy to shut the door on January.

Chloe has a new wound. She spent all day at the vet for testing and then came home and we saw a new wound. That meant she spent more time back at the vet (for free, thankfully) getting stiches. Now she has less fur than ever, but seems to be glad to be home and stitched up. She has a rare condition that seems to be known as fragile skin syndrome, and what the cause of it is is partly why she spent the day at the vet for testing. (Also for her diabetes). We’re going to try having her wear a shirt, I think.

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She’s a cutie and a sweet cat. It took me a little while to warm up to her when I first met her, because she likes to cuddle on your chest with her claws out, and she used to “knead” with her claws out too, and I didn’t care for that. But we’ve come to an understanding, and we are enjoying our time together.

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She sat on my lap last night. She usually smells like urine and obviously can’t groom herself, but she’s sweet. We don’t have the relationship I had with the Fatness, obviously, but I’m fond of her, and I’m sorry she’s having such a hard time. She’s still enjoying cuddling and eating and doing stuff, so we are forging ahead.

I’m sorry if some of those pictures might be gross—I’ve gotten used to seeing her. You get used to weird stuff I guess!

Mackenzie is trying a special diet. She is not a huge fan, simply because it means no more table scraps, which she loved. But hopefully she will stop being so itchy and maybe even regrow her hair…she has a friend visiting this weekend (litter mate!) and they are having a pretty good time. (edited to add: she seems to like the new food, it’s just being limited to ONLY that food that makes her sad. Or it makes ME sad, when she looks at me with those eyes!)

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In non-pet-related news…(is there anything else going on really?) the weather over the weekend was amazing.

Friday night we had dinner at Sapporo 2 in Midtown. It was quite good! Louie and I shared this chirashi bowl and a swordfish dish.

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Louie and I went to Forest Park on Saturday to walk around with the dogs. (darn it, mentioned the pets again!)

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The previous week this was ice and geese covered!

I had a quartet rehearsal after that, and then we went to a surprise party for April’s boyfriend Charlie. I couldn’t make the surprise bit, so we got the party after he already knew it was happening, but it was still fun Winking smile

And then Sunday my quartet had a concert in Edwardsville. We had nice audience and played pretty well. It was our third performance of the Beethoven Quartet and the first of the Smetana Quartet. I talked about the Smetana and thought the audience responded well, especially when I read some of Smetana’s words about the piece, so I’ll have to do the same for our repeat performance at the end of February.

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Afterwards we all went out to dinner in Edwardsville to celebrate. Stephanie (our cellist) had a bunch of family at the concert and it was fun to chat with them and enjoy some good food (we went to Social Gastropub and I would recommend it) and relax!

So here we are, February 1. Here’s hoping the month is less stressful and worrisome than January. There are quite a few things going on, and the remaining pets are still sick, so I’m not super hopeful, but losing the Fatness definitely ruined January…

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It’s not just pets to worry about, there are also various family members going through things…I hate to think that this is what getting old is like, but I think it is. You just deal with what’s right ahead of you, treasure the time you have with loved ones, and hold tight to happy times and memories?

Cat

Purrsday

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We have Caturday, we could have Purrsday, correct?

Okay, so I have a no-show student and I thought I’d try to squeeze in a quick blog post. Teachers, do you call or text when your students don’t come? I used to call (back in the day) but learned that by that point nothing is going to change anyway (that is, the student is either on their way or has forgotten and won’t make it in time to have the lesson—maybe it’d be different with an hour long lesson…). Maybe my student will read this and realize they missed their lesson Winking smile

Anyway, pet things, as usual. Though I’ve entered the land of living once again, I’m still busy with pet things. Tomorrow is Chloe’s big test and I’m also taking Mackenzie in to try to see why she is still losing hair and super itchy all the time. Sigh.

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Look at those guys. Best buds! I texted that picture to Louie the other day and tried to type “besties” but it autocorrected to “beasties” which I thought was also appropriate.

I apologize for the messed up slip cover. I’m sure some of you are dying to straighten it…I try, but then Mackenzie just jumps on it again and within a few minutes it’s a mess. That’s technically her couch anyway.

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This is my old cat, Heifetz. She and the fatness used to live together until she died in 2007. I’ve been carting a cardboard box of her ashes with me ever since…and no idea what to do with them. While I was looking on Etsy the other week to decide what to do with Oistrakh’s ashes to honor her, I decided to finally get something made for Heifetz too. I had less pictures to choose from, but I think I got a nice one. I don’t think I’ll use the keychain to put keys on, but I’m just happy to finally have something nice as a keepsake…for so many years I just couldn’t even deal with her ashes. She died suddenly while I was away for the weekend, and I was sad for so long, (and surprise, I felt SUPER guilty, that she died without me, though not alone, as Oistrakh was there)…So now I have this, and I think it’ll be much nicer. I can’t believe that nearly 9 years have gone by, actually.

Other than cats, that’s mostly it Winking smile I’ve been practicing and teaching and doing the freelance hustle, as always. This week has been trying but I’m making it through! We aren’t doing Taco Thursday tonight and instead I purchased salmon at Trader Joe’s, so after 3 more students I will get to have a really delicious dinner.

How is your week going?  What have you done in the past to preserve the memory of a deceased pet?

Cat, Random thoughts, Teaching

Pet people are the best people

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I’ve found so much wonderful support over the past few weeks from all different people. We humans sure do love our pets! I’m settling back into my schedule of teaching and playing and missing the fatness but not too much. (I do miss her! And gleefully look forward to each day’s timehop to see if she is featured!)

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For instance, there she is today. What a sweetie. I can picture how it feels to pet her Smile

Do you ever feel like your emotions are a roller coaster? For me, some days I’m loving life and feeling good and connected to the world, other days I feel stressed and annoyed and that nobody understands me. I’m going to assume that’s pretty normal, but it’s rough on occasion. I heard a bit on NPR today about meditation and relaxation and thought maybe I should work on that. There are a fair amount of work-related things that get me riled up and I just want to be more calm and less stressed over them. On the one hand, I want to make the world I live in better, but on the other hand, maybe I should just try to relax and accept the things I cannot change.

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Mackenzie certainly never worries about whether she is fitting it or whether she is being paid fairly.

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Chloe doesn’t worry whether her playing is valued or whether she lacks confidence. She also never worries about smiling enough or whether her personality is too strong.

So, the snow from last week was thawing by the weekend and Louie and I had a lovely time walking about Forest Park. My new iPhone has a feature where it counts your steps, so I usually try to keep it in my pocket, even walking around the house. Saturday was one of the few days I got over 10,000 steps. Even on days when I run for a couple miles I only tend to end up with 8000/9000 steps. I guess I sit too much? But!

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There were so many geese sitting on the ice. I thought maybe they had a guest speaker.

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I never noticed this rock before. I like the shadows.

Earlier in the week I’d taken Mackenzie up to a nearby park.

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Sticks are one of her favorite things!

Besides walking around, we went to Farmhaus on Saturday night (had a gift certificate from a fried) and had dim sum at Lu Lu’s on Sunday.  Both were relatively easy to do eating pescatarian which was very nice. Farmhaus didn’t have too many listed menu options without bacon but the server was very nice and the kitchen was very accommodating. For dim sum we just had to ask about stuff, but again, it wasn’t too hard. I think the further I get into this the more I want to continue—I don’t really miss meat and I feel like little steps are a good thing.

This week is crunch week for the Perseid Quartet as we are playing a concert in Edwardsville on Sunday. I’m really looking forward to it—I’m so happy to play chamber music and have really enjoyed my quartet time. I feel I’m learning so much from the other players and I’m continually being challenged. It’s really awesome and helps me feel happy and appreciated as well. My students have been wonderful this month as well, and I have never regretted branching out and turning into a full time at-home violin teacher! Being my own boss is really the best. Even though there is often loads of paperwork and so many records to keep (and taxes to pay, so many taxes!), I think it gives me the best chance at success.

Last picture before I leave you to go feed Mackenzie and practice until my next student arrives. Leslie sent this. Can you spot the real cat amongst the stuffed animals (do I need to restart Caturday??)?

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Catalunya doesn’t wake up in the middle of the night and have trouble getting back to sleep.

Cat

Life Goes On

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Yesterday I had to stop by the vet to pick up Fatness’s ashes. I have something on order to put them in but it’s from etsy and will be handmade so for now I just have them in a box. I have to say the vet has been really great through all of this—I’m sure they are used to it, and have lots of experience dealing with people’s grief over their pets, but still, they have made me feel better. I meant to return some of the cans of special food they’d given me that Fatness never ate but I forgot it. I find myself getting obsessed over what to do with her remaining cans of food, and figuring out what to do with them but then being seemingly unable to actually follow up on my plans.

Sometimes I forgot that the fatness is gone and I’ll see a dark shape out of the corner of my eye and think it’s her.

I’ve noticed on facebook that quite a few of my friends have lost pets recently. I’m not sure if more than usual have lost pets, or that I’ve noticed more than I did before, or if (creepy idea) facebook’s algorithms are showing me more lost pet posts. Maybe even all of the above.

I wrote a rant about snow driving but erased it. In a nutshell, bad traffic in the snow is another one of those things people from St Louis think only happens in St Louis. Oh, and I’m glad the Rams are leaving. I was tired of hearing about how much money the city had to spend on football, but not on all the things that would actually benefit the city. Sigh. It’s so easy to get angry and worked up about these things but so hard to know what to do. *insert inspirational picture with quotes*

I’m leaving this post with no picture. Next time. Enjoy the rest of your week and stay warm, friends. Thank for all of your support and kind words.

Cat, Random thoughts

Week Two

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This time last week I was having to put down my dear cat of nearly 14 years. Today I am fully aware of that fact, even as life goes on. I am still questioning if I did the right thing, what I could have done differently to notice she was sick (why can’t pets tell us when they aren’t feeling well?!), what might have been. Mostly I know that I did do the right thing, that I am not perfect, and that I did my best, and that things might have turned out the same, because that’s just how things go. And sometimes I really miss the fatness and get sad, and other times I don’t think about her, or I think about her and feel happy, or I feel a little guilty that I am continuing on with my life and she’s not here anymore. So all really normal stuff.

I thought I’d sit down and try to write a blog post that wasn’t about the pets. I will tell you, the last few months have been difficult. There have been mornings where I would cry in the morning because dealing with all the pets was so stressful and the opposite of what I wanted to do first thing in the morning. Maybe, in retrospect, one of the reasons Fatness was so hard to deal with as well was because she wasn’t feeling well. I don’t know. I would get up, and have three animals yelling at me, following me around, getting underfoot, barking, meowing, hissing at each other, and I’d have to feed them, give them medicine, replace their water and puppy pads that Chloe had soaked and sometimes crinkled up so that meant cleaning up urine. And the thing is, all of that is still happening, minus the hissing, and minus one animal, but it does make it a little more manageable. Or it’s just different. I don’t know. Maybe after you’ve spent days crying over a sick pet, you can’t immediately return to crying over stress from hungry animals.

So as you can see, it’s hard to write a post not about the pets. Mostly because lately they have taken up such a huge portion of my time. I’ve gotten back into regular teaching which has been nice, and had two rehearsals for Winter Opera St Louis yesterday (my back and shoulders are SO sore and tired!), and that was fun. We have a wonderful Italian conductor…well he is from Italy, but went to school in France and currently lives in Utah, so really he’s from all different places. I liked him from the first rehearsal when he got a little broken up talking about how he had had five dogs, and now two, and they are in Italy.

Oh, and the WEATHER. It’s been FREEZING cold. It makes running outside less than appealing, and it makes getting out of bed less than appealing! I have bailed on my race series over the winter, due to a variety of factors mainly that my cat was sick and I just can’t deal with everything I’d planned. But Louie and I are signed up to run the Castlewood Cup at the end of February, and I’m starting training for the Go St Louis Half Marathon this week! That means that today I need to bundle up and go for a run. It’s sunny, which makes it especially disheartening when it’s really cold (it’s currently 12 degrees, with a high of 18 predicted). I know that we need the cold weather for our climate, and that we were “lucky” (depending on how global warming makes you feel) to have a mild winter until now, but, I still get to complain, don’t I?

Oh, and for local to semi-local readers, my quartet, the Perseid Quartet, is playing a concert on January 31 in Edwardsville, Illinois. We are performing the Smetana Quartet and Beethoven’s Quartet Op. 59, #1. We’d love to see you there!

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I don’t want to stop posting pictures of her. Not yet, at least. Is that okay?

thoughts about violin, teaching, running, life.