I slept in this morning. I didn’t set an alarm. I woke up a few times, but didn’t check the time for awhile. Finally I checked the time, and…it was 7:46 am. I suppose that’s sleeping in, but if there is one thing that makes me feel old, it’s my inability to sleep in!

When I was younger people always told me once I had kids I wouldn’t be able to sleep in as much. I first started waking up early more naturally after the election of 2016, the worry and stress woke me up. Then the worry and stress became a constant…it never went away, I never was able to sleep in again. I go to bed earlier as well, rarely seeing past midnight and often asleep before 11 pm. Once I got my morning job, I would find myself in bed before 10 pm, and felt like sleeping past 6 am was a decadent proposition.

So, here’s the thing about aging: you do it, regardless of whether or not you have kids. In my own personal experience, I wake up early, I can’t sleep like I used to, I pee often (another thing I was told would happen once I had kids).

Aging happens regardless, doesn’t it, and it sneaks up on you. The pandemic took so much of our time and energy that everything else fell apart, but as we rebuilt our lives after it (not that it is over, but that is no longer new) I realized that we had been aging, that somehow we felt middle-aged, and responsible, and that our parents were even older and that everything is changing and that life is going on in that inexorable march towards death. And that sounds very dark and all of that, but it’s just the truth, and it’s good to accept that, and to figure out, what are we doing with the time we are given?

This may be why so many people changed what they are doing in their lives, and why people change along the way. I often feel that my fellow musicians judge me for teaching as much as I do. It is a badge of honor to play poorly paid gigs and to struggle, whereas teaching means, yes, dealing with lots of children and working hard, but also making a decent and regular living, but without as much glory. The students, they don’t always listen, they don’t always do what you say, they often play out of tune!

I keep thinking I need to cut back on teaching, that I am doing too much, I don’t know. My Music Staff says I have 46 active students, but that’s not entirely true: 6 of them are starting this summer but 5 of them are quitting at the end of May or over the summer. It is probably too many, but this is the American way, to work too much, isn’t it? The stock market is crashing, we are heading towards fascism, my body is not my own, and somehow working more and more feels like something I can do, to cover unexpected medical bills, to save for a hoped upon one day retirement, to save for a new car and to pay for trip to Norway! And I hope that I make a positive influence on every student I see, that I make their day better, not worse, and that they find music lessons a source of solace.

Kitties sleeping with their feet together.

I played a wedding job yesterday on viola, and really enjoyed the challenge. I hope I can do more of that! I know I am HannahVIOLIN but the viola is a fun part of my musical life now as well…

I mentioned our little catio a few posts back: the cats absolutely love sitting out on it. We can open the inside window, or keep it closed with a little cat-door, so the cats can come and go as they please. Miles can be found on it late at night or early in the morning, as well as all day long.

It’s screened in so they can enjoy the breeze, and get the full view on the sides as well. They sit there and get to yell at birds and squirrels and such also.

One more day of my early morning class and then it’s summer break! I can’t believe we are hear, that we have made it to the last full week of school. Tomorrow I am meeting a former student for lunch as well, which is always fun. I love catching up with former students and hearing how they are doing!