All posts by hannahviolin

I am a violinist. I also enjoy running, working out, reading, and hanging with my friends and cat.

One more week

One week left of summer work, then it’s off on a vacation…and then it’s fall. I know it’s not TECHNICALLY fall, but school will have started for the kids, and that means it’s fall. This fall is going to be busy as usual, and I think September is going to be the hardest, so wish me luck.

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Until then! I’m trying to get as many things in place as possible. The good news is we’ve settled on a concrete company for the front stairs. And I’ve finished with all my bank switches. There are a few more things that need to be done around the house, but I think I reached all my first tier goals for the summer. The stretch goals would involve getting a giant tree bush trimmed, but quick internet research tells me that this isn’t a good time of year to trim stuff and that that winter is better. I should also research to see what the difference between a tree and a bush is, because if I’m going to find somebody to come out to work on this monstrosity I should be able to describe it. It is a living creature that has taken over the entire space between my house and the driveway, and is probably 20 feet tall and as wide. I don’t even know. Louie used to be able to trim it but he got behind and now it’s becoming a monster. Home ownership is NO JOKE.

I got off track there, however.

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It’s been an odd week. I have millions of thoughts involving an article from the Washington Post regarding my teacher from graduate school. The #metoo movement is powerful, strong, and shows no signs of stopping. I have nothing to report in regards to him, and when I think of things involving my own #metoo stories, he doesn’t really factor in…I also learned so much from him, and I loved studying with him, and I found him very charming and…oh it’s just all so complicated, sad, and awful all around.

One of the things that we are doing on this trip is towing a sailboat down to Georgia. Louie has a sailboat in his possession from a series of complicated events, and we are finally giving it to somebody who will use it more. (Zero is the amount I’ve used it, and he has used it I believe once since I’ve known him). This is exciting, because they say the two happiest days in a boat owner’s life is the day they get the boat and the day they get rid of the boat. Towing a sailboat is no small feat though—I don’t think I’ll be very comfortable driving the truck, but after we get rid of the sailboat then I may need to drive a pickup truck for some period of time. I’ve driven a Uhaul and a 15 passenger van at points in my life, but lately all I’ve been driving are compact cars! The other nice thing about getting rid of the boat is that we’ll have more yard room. We would technically like to start a garden but feel overwhelmed by how to do that (and while, we’d love to HAVE a garden and eat the vegetables and stuff from it, we aren’t sure if we really have the time to dedicate to it.) Do any of you garden? Mom, want to come help organize a garden for us?

My timehop app reminded me that today was the two year anniversary of the time the bear attacked the car in Colorado. If you are a new or occasional reader, you might say WHAT? Read here.

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We’ve had some good summer adventures! We are already looking ahead to next summer, though more in a brainstorming way. I do love planning trips, and I like to think I’m getting better at it. I also like to think I’m getting better at organizing my life and being relaxed and calm, and I’m not sure those things are true, but…life is a work in progress.

I’ve got some fun and interesting stuff happening this week! Over the weekend I was playing Nabucco with Union Avenue Opera and we have two more performances next weekend. In between I’m playing for a mass at St Francis de Sales—it’s something I’ve done before once but is pretty unusual: it’s a mass where new priests are ordained. I’m not Catholic but it’s still a very interesting and unique thing to witness. Then I’m playing a little concert with some colleagues at a retirement home, which is always nice though I’m not always so popular at these places. In between all that I still have 22 students scheduled, so I won’t be lacking things to do.

Last note: who is enjoying this cooler weather in St Louis? I know I am! I wish it would hang around.

Rainy Thursday

I have one more week of teaching until vacation…two weeks off then, until the fall semester starts.

I realized this time last year (thanks timehop app) I was updating syllabi and whatnot for one of my adjunct positions. I suppose I should do that before vacation, or I’ll be stuck doing it after vacation. I’ll add that to my to do list for next week, I suppose.

This week has been dedicated to annoying bank errands. Two visits later, I’m almost done with what I was trying to do! It’s going to be awkward when I return to the bank tomorrow for an appointment with a notary for another annoying bank errand…not really, but that WILL be my third visit this week. How do normal people take care of things? I feel like I’m racing against the clock to get my summer to-do’s taken care of before summer is over and the college lessons start up (and the GIGS, my goodness, the GIGS).

It’s a funny day weather wise. It has been cooler all week (yes!) and today it is raining. I guess that’s not terribly funny, except in July I just expect oppressive, crushing heat and humidity.

I was feeling better enough today to finally get back on the workout train. I’d been feeling better probably for a few days but the last two days were just too busy for me to get up earlier to work out (opera dress rehearsals until 11 pm really take a lot out of one). But today felt good and I’m glad to be back at it. I’ve been slowly updating my working out wardrobe as well, so that makes things more fun!

It’s possible that this year will be easier than last year. I am sort of dreading it, but I’m also just sort of gearing up for things to be busier. I know that won’t even really kick in until last August or early September, and I know that I don’t have quite as much on my plate as last fall (well, in some ways I do, in that I’m playing a few more weeks of shows, but not as many solo and chamber music performances). It’s just that this summer has been deceptively easy.

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I appreciate all the comments on my blog! I sometimes feel like I blog just for me, but obviously that’s not the case. I do blog for me, because I like having a record, but I like to put my thoughts out there in the hopes that other people can either relate, or that it makes them feel better about themselves, or perhaps it gives someone inspiration (positively or negatively—as in, be like me, or DON’T be like me) or who knows. There’s certainly a bit of “look at me” in blogging, and everybody says blogging is passe and dead (and so is classical music, so why am I even here)…but I still read a few blogs, I still enjoy writing, and I think it helps! So keep commenting, keep reading, and keep judging and being entertainedWinking smile

Did I mention we are headed to Savannah and Charleston soon? (Among a few other places. ) If you have any must do suggestions, please let me know! We are also visiting family, friends, and the beach. I’m very excited.

Monday Thoughts

I had a busy weekend and I was dealing with a head cold the whole time, so I took this morning off to just relax. I had some errands to run in the afternoon so I did that and now I’m back, killing time until I have a rehearsal tonight.

It’s a busy week ahead, but I’m looking forward to it. I’m still a little worried about being overwhelmed in the fall, but I’m trying to stay positive and organized. I’m coming to terms with some things in my head, and I think after another year I might make some tweaks, but I can do it!

I sometimes think about what the future will bring. I have done a lot of different things in my career so far, and anytime I think I know the future things tend to change. I’ve been in St Louis for about 10 years now, can you believe it? I’m still considered “new” because I didn’t grow up here, but that’s almost as long as I lived in my “hometown” before college started! Louie and I occasionally ponder if we should stay here or consider moving elsewhere, and while I won’t be repeating my earlier mistakes of moving for a guy without a financial guarantee from him, I don’t want to live my life in fear of making mistakes! I haven’t in the past, and while I find myself wanting to be more cautious as I get older (isn’t that normal?) I still don’t want to be afraid to make any changes.

I know this is vague sounding, but it’s vague just because…I don’t have any concrete plans. Right now I’m just trying to figure out how to keep my stress levels down and how to have some semblance of a life while I’m working. I used to worry about work-life balance, now I feel like I’m so far tipped towards work that life went out the window. I don’t feel that I have close friends like I used to—I know that everybody says this is normal as we all get older and we are paired off—but I also see that many people I know seem to have close friends still, so I know it’s possible. Maybe it’s not possible for me, or maybe I’ll have to settle with a few decent friends rather than really close ones I can discuss hard topics with, but I can dream!

I went by the library today to renew my expired library card, but I couldn’t find it so I assumed I had left it in another wallet. A little later I did find it, but “renew library card” is still on my to-do list. I did get to the bank, though I have to go back later this week for another task, and it’s possible what I did at the bank won’t work so fingers crossed. (Transferring from one IRA to another…there were difficulties, which made me glad I enlisted help rather than doing it myself!)

Now the choice: what to do with the rest of the afternoon? Practice, read, clean? I think I know the answer to that one. Remember, I’m still getting over a cold and I already cleaned the upstairs thinking I was going to teach (student got sick).

Summer is starting to wind down

You guys. Isn’t it a little sad, that back to school sales and whatnot are starting up? I’m not ready!

I wish I could keep the summer feel going all year round, but it’s not possible at this time. (Maybe later, like in retirement.)

Nonetheless, despite my earlier blog post this week complaining, this week has been pretty good. I’ve accomplished quite a few tasks, and I am looking forward to a weekend of opera rehearsals (Nabucco with Union Avenue). It’s the first weekend I’ve really had to work through for, gosh, about 6 weeks…and though I’m a little sad to not be free, I’m excited to play violin more!

I did get some written estimates for the steps. I took care of some other things, and scheduled time to take care of more things. I probably accomplished slightly more than I hoped to, so that’s good.

I’ve spent so much of my practicing, and trying to get ahead in my career by practicing more…I’ve had a very unconventional career and life, by most standards, I would think. I find what I do to be fairly boring and mundane, because other musicians do so much more exciting things than I do, but I sometimes get tickled when people are excited to hear that I’m a musician, or that I teach music lessons out of my home. I suppose I shouldn’t be so grouchy about things.

One thing that I haven’t made much progress towards this summer is de-cluttering the house. I’m making slow progress over time but had hoped to really do more. It ended up not being as much of a priority, and perhaps slow progress is okay. I still plan to fill four boxes to give away by the end of July, and I’m only at about 1 1/2, so that gives me a goal.

It seems funny sometimes (or horrible) that we acquire so much junk that we need to just get rid of it, and that the junk we acquire makes us stressed out! In some places in the world people have nothing, and here I am complaining that I have too much stuff. It’s definitely a problem that I should be grateful for.

I also try to make sure to donate to charity and groups every month because if I have enough money to buy junk that I don’t even want a few years (or sooner) later, I have enough money to throw at this group or that group that is doing good. Then I feel bad because they send out so many requests for more money that I worry my initial donation only covered the mailings for future donations, and maybe rather than several small donations to a variety of orgs I should be giving more to just one…but I like to spread it out! I figure that covers worrying too much about what group is doing the best work and just help out a variety of approaches. What do you all do? I’d love to give more time, but right now I need my time for career building and maintaining, and I realize I just can’t commit to regular volunteering. But I can give small amounts of money.

A fun site I’ve been using to help out is Kiva. You give small loans to people and they pay you back, and then you can relend the money. I always consider it a donation, but they usually pay back, and then technically you could take the money back. You get to help people on a very small scale.

In any case, stuff like that makes me feel better. And having lunch with a friend, and working out, and playing music, and reading a good book. I’ve been rereading the Inspector Lynley mysteries lately, in addition to “Slaves in the Family” by Edward Ball. I’m pretty much done planning our trip in August, and I’ve even got a good cat-sitter lined up. (Local readers, what do you do with your cats when you go out of town, for future reference?)

Here are some pictures of Muriel and Miles, since I know that’s really why you’re here:

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Muriel really loves this chair. Unfortunately, it’s the chair I sit in while I’m teaching, so she is not happy when I teach.

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Miles had a follow-up visit at the vet. Nothing wrong, just the second round of shots. He’s gained about a pound this past month!

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He might have been regretting his choice to walk up on Michael’s porch in this picture. I put it on instagram with the caption “Miles is regretting his decision to join the hoomans.”

I’m not going to lie: It’s hard taking Miles to the vet. It’s the same vet where we took Mackenzie to be put to sleep and I always cry a little in the parking lot because it brings back memories. I love my new kitties, but I still mourn my old pets. I suppose that’s normal? It’s wonderful to have them around and they are really fun to play with and watch! They love to wrestle and play, and are much more active than I know they will be later. They are constantly hungry and definitely misbehave, but they are just so cute Smile

Have a wonderful weekend, dear reader!

Practicing Patience

AHHH this is so important, isn’t it?

The parents of students often tell me, oh you are so patient, or “you must be so patient.” I’m totally not. I’m very impatient, quick to anger, I get annoyed really easily! But students, no, because violin is totally hard to do and I get that they might sound terrible for awhile, so that doesn’t require patience. I find it very easy to just be nice to my students, because they are mostly trying their best, or because, failing that, they have other stuff going on and/or it’s certainly not worth getting annoyed at.

In any case, trying to get estimates on my front stairs is different. I feel like I’m trying so hard (well, as hard as one can try without actually calling and bugging people, which isn’t something I want to start doing at all) to get some people to show up and give me a freaking estimate on the repair job! I’ve spent a good amount of time the past week waiting. I’m still waiting on my first official estimate, but I feel pretty good about the guy earlier today, because he had a clipboard and everything. He told me I’d hear something in a few days, so let’s keep our fingers crossed. I have some more leads and appointments so hopefully something will pan out. *and in the meantime I got a phone call from another guy who is working on a quote…

So I’ve spent a bit of time this afternoon trying to stay near the front door in case somebody showed up. A thing you should know about my house (well, FedEx in particular should know): if you ring the doorbell, it’s really loud everywhere in the house, but if you knock, I can barely hear it, but especially not beyond the front two rooms. So I’m always worried when I’m expecting someone that they will knock and I won’t hear it (this has happened on many occasions) and then not notice the doorbell and just leave.

In any case, I feel like this week has been taken up so far with annoying tasks. I’ve been trying to spread them into next week also, because I realized that in my haste to GET THINGS DONE I started too many things and was feeling stressed out and that’s not how July needs to be. But all the tasks I’m doing seem to be slightly more annoying than they should be (I’m shocked by still how few tasks can be completed via the internet versus needing to talk on the phone or have a face to face) and that is trying my patience as well. On an unrelated note, I’ve recently noticed that I can hear trains more often while sitting at my computer than I used to be able to. Perhaps that’s because my air conditioning is softer than it used to be (new system from last summer)?

So there you have it. Patience. I have it for a few things, at least.

I suppose this is why people complain about contractors and try to do things themselves. To be fair, I know people call me when I’m busy and then sometimes when I call back they are unbelievably rude, so I’m trying to be nice (and there’s no reason not to: either the person will help me or not, my being rude doesn’t help anyone)…recently somebody lefta message on Friday and when I called back on Monday they acted incredibly rude. That wasn’t the first time something like that has happened, but it was the latest time and since then, phone messages have really stressed me out because I’m afraid people are going to yell at me when I call back.

In fact, this blog is a little bit of therapy, because writing that out made me realize how true it is. That since a woman a few months ago yelled at me on the phone I’ve been super anxious about responding to phone calls to the point that I sometimes don’t even respond. I know that most people are actually really polite and great, and even when I call after they’ve found another teacher are usually perfectly polite about it (especially as I’m often returning their call to only give them recommendations)…but that one person was so rude. And it made me mad too, because don’t I get weekends off? I certainly don’t expect people to call me about business matters on weekends, so calling first thing Monday morning for a message left late on a Friday afternoon IS calling back right away, and yet, this woman was so awful.

I’m just ranting now. This week is so crazy (treason much?) and it’s only Tuesday, but I only have two more students today and then 17 more for the week…summer teaching is going well!

Adulting is hard

Fun fact: I don’t think that I’m a millenial. But I do enjoy using the phrase “adulting.” I spent last week trying to get in touch with various concrete companies to get an estimate on my front steps…and it looks like that project will continue. I also stuck my toes into two other home related issues and am working on moving some bank accounts around, so I have a lot of adulting happening.

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But, it’s Monday. I had an open rehearsal at a student strings camp with my quartet (we did a rehearsal with them observing…we probably got a lot more done than usual!) and then I hit up Target. I bought four new cat toys, so naturally they are fighting over the same toy. And I should say, 4 cat toys but 2 of each are the same! I also am trying to get on top of the cat litter situation. Cats are cute. But they do go the bathroom in a box in your house and my god the second cat has exponentially added to the litter situation. I’m having to clean it out more than once a day (we have two boxes, one is very popular, the other less so) which is frankly ridiculous. I’m hoping this settles down as he grows up? Is more than once a day normal?

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What else is going on…I have a “light” week this week, but the weekend is busy. I just added it up to see how crazy I am and my “light” week looks to be about 38 hours of rehearsals/teaching. Maybe that isn’t so light after all…then again I have an entire day off, so that’s good enough! A few weeks ago I was having an existential crisis about no one hiring me (or was it yesterday?) but now I’ve gotten back into having a few gigs, and I realized that I am just a little bit insane and should have relaxed. Somebody remind me of that next summer, okay? That it’s okay to have a little time off, even three weekends in a row is okay and doesn’t mean you are unhirable.

Mostly I have been relaxing with the cats. They are highly entertaining, and you know, they grow up so fast. My band had a recording session on Saturday morning which went really well.

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Three weeks from today we hit the road for another trip. And after that, school is back in session and we are back to it…part of me feels like summer has been going on forever and another part of me says it’s flying by! Probably a bit of both. I’ve been reading more than anything else—I just haven’t wanted to practice…just tired of it, I guess—and doing well creating an exercise habit. I’m also chipping away at my summer to-do list, so that’s the adulting part. I think I’ll start the fall in a good place mentally, so that should be good.

Blah, blah, blah. I know. It’s Monday Smile