I had a workout with Mike.  I was actually planning to run afterwards, but stupidly I didn’t realize it was raining until I left the gym.  Instead of heading back inside, I decided to go to Target to get a couple of things.  No, I am not going to run in the rain today, I did that last Sunday and feel that was enough for the week.

I got pumpkin and cake mix there!  The checkout lady asked me what I was making with those.  I told her it was actually two different recipes (one being those cake mix blondies I made awhile back) but then told her I thought I had made a recipe where you layer the pumpkin on top of the cake mix and it makes a pumpkin cake of sorts but I didn’t think it was very good.  I then realized she was giving me a look and was probably thinking, why is the crazy lady wearing a sparkly pink head band and gym clothes STILL talking about cake mix?  Sad.

Honestly though, I don’t know why I bought the pumpkin.  I heard there were going to be shortages, that’s why.  Except I did the same last year, and I’m pretty sure I still have a few cans.  I really only use 2 or 3 cans of pumpkin a year, maybe one for pumpkin bread, one for a pie, one for something else, and then I think, oh, I’m totally going to make more goodies, but it’s hard for just two people.  Especially two people who are working really hard to be in awesome shape for their upcoming nuptials.

I can’t believe it’s already Thursday again.  This weekend is again full of activity and running.  I don’t think I’ll be making it to the Symphony this weekend due to teaching and weddings, but I’ve got a blogger meet up on Sunday, 9 or 10 miles of running, might go see a friend’s band, and who knows what else.  I feel like my weekends end up being busy than my weekdays, which is fine by me.  I prefer a nice relaxing Thursday and a weekend full of activities with friends.  (Especially those silly friends who have full time jobs with {gasp} regular hours…I don’t know how they do it!)

I posted earlier today asking for your favorite fall recipes.  I want to try a new recipe with my pumpkin!  Please give me some more ideas, readers!

Also I forgot one post with some delicious pumpkin chocolate chip cookies I made awhile back.  Enjoy!

I put quite a bit of myself into my blog posts over the weekend (particularly the 9/11 one) so yesterday I was feeling exhausted and didn’t have anything left to write.  I don’t really today either…it’s rainy, I just got back from a tough but awesome workout at the gym, and the only thing I could think of was a lame post regarding lunches.  (Which I’ll totally write later, you know it!).

I was going through my Gmail inbox and noticed I still have a couple of monthly reverb11 prompts hanging out.  I deleted one because I just didn’t ever want to write about it (totally lame), but the one from June looked interesting, so here we go:

What can you let yourself off the hook for?

That’s a great question for me.  If you are a regular blog reader, you know I am pretty hard on myself and I like to beat myself up about…well, everything, ranging from my weight, my body image, my running, my violin playing, you name it.  Sometimes this is really productive and gets me going out to the door or into the (figurative) practice room.  Other times it just makes me lie on the couch in a pool of self-loathing.  Sadly, as of late, that last one has been what I’ve been feeling.  Sure, I’ve been getting my life done—I’m nothing if not a functioning depressive, which at least tells you I’m actually not that depressed or I would be lying on the couch more…I’ve been practicing, working out, teaching, playing a variety of concerts, and rehearsing for an upcoming recording.  BUT I feel like a lousy individual and human being and that really wears on me.

What can I let myself off the hook for?

I can let myself off the hook for being sick.  I can let myself off the hook for hurting my ankle.  I can let myself off the hook for having a recurring wrist problem that affects my violin playing.  I can let myself off the hook for feeling fat when I don’t get a workout in, because FAT IS TRULY NOT A FEELING.  I can let myself off the hook for feeling like a bad friend when I am having problems and need my friends to help me and listen to me.  I can let myself off the hook for eating less healthy food during a bad week.  I can let myself off the hook for feeling awkward and uncomfortable around my father because we never established a relationship any other way.  I can let myself off the hook for knowing he will read that, because it doesn’t mean I don’t love him.

I can’t let myself off the hook for everything.  I won’t list that stuff here.  But I don’t have to continually beat myself up every time I haven’t achieved perfection in my life.  Nobody achieves perfection.  I told a student in a lesson yesterday, “Nobody has a perfect audition.”  I believe that when I tell it to the student.

I need to relax and let myself be, or I will self-destruct further than I already have. 

(Please remember I am prone to dramatics and do not assume I am near suicidal.  Just venting here.  Everything is fine!!)

My dad arrived on Thursday around 1 pm.  He had been on the road for 16 days at that point.

He said the bike with the gear weighs about 75 pounds.  He’s got clothes, maps, a stove, tent, sleeping bag, and all kinds of other stuff.  All on the bike. 

I love that you can have sandals that work with clipless pedals!  I’d love running sandals.  (Okay, maybe I should embrace barefoot running…)

You have to make sure everything is tied down well. 

Ready to go!  People.  If you see this man, please don’t cut him off to stop short in front of him to make a right turn.  Use your common sense.  Don’t be a jerk.

He’s headed to St Charles to pick up the Katy Trail today.  Might make it to Phoenix in a month or so.  Follow my dad on twitter @jerrydfrey

One concert down, one to go!

I invited Maddie from City in a Jar to attend our Chamber Project St Louis concert last night.  She wrote up a really great blog post about it.  Please go check it out.  I met Maddie earlier this summer at Will Write for Wine and we have become good friends on twitter.  It was nice to see her in person again!

My dad got into town around 1 pm yesterday on his bike.  I was not blog-prepared, in fact, I have taken no photos since then.  I’ll try to get one of him taking off so you can see how much gear he has on his bike—he said all in all it weighs about 75 pounds.  Imagine biking on that all day, every day.  Today is his first day off in about 16 days, and he will be heading out in a bit to make sure his new tire is working well before getting back on the road for real.  We also made a trip to REI to get a sleeping bag liner since the weather is cooling off.  He is planning to head towards Phoenix, Arizona next, and won’t be there for at least a month if not more.  He said the trip has been more difficult that he thought, but will be able to take more days off in the future—he was working hard to get here in time for my concert.

I was also delighted last night that a few members of the SLSO including my fiance Chris were there by the end of our show.  I had originally thought Chris would be able to attend but it turned out it was the night of their opening Pops concert at Forest Park.  However, he was there at the end and I was so happy he got to hear me play the Prokofiev.  It meant a lot to have him and my father there.