I have a few friends who work traditional 9 to 5 style jobs. This is not to say that their hours are precisely 9 to 5, but that they basically show up early to work Monday through Friday, have their evenings and weekends free, and that is all they do. The life of a freelance musician is…somewhat different.

Not to say that many other people don’t have flexible schedules (and I should clarify that this generally means I have to be flexible to the client rather than the other way around lest you get too jealous) but that most seem to work more “traditional” hours.  A colleague the other day pointed out how “boring” it must be to have all your evenings and weekends free and constantly being in search of entertainment to quell the boredom. I’m not sure that’s the case (though thank goodness, as your search for entertainment helps make my chosen profession possible!), but what I really wanted to write about was my calendar.

As a freelancer, one of the most sacred pieces of information at my disposal is my calendar. With smart phones and online calendars, life has been greatly simplified. Before online calendars, of course, we all had to carry our calendars around and handwrite everything.  What a pain!

Lately I’ve seen a few bloggers saying they are going back to traditional style calendars for various reasons. I say, probably they aren’t freelancers trying to limit their load of what to carry (phone is already with you, why add another book, especially when you already have a bag of music, a music stand, and an instrument) or accepting a lot of email invitations to events (it’s SO easy to add events from an email directly into your google calendar!). Maybe that’s what got me thinking about my calendar. While I’m sure there are some freelancers who still write their schedules by hand, I am simply not one of them. To me that would be like consulting an atlas to figure out my route somewhere rather than finding out online.

So enlighten me, readers. What do you use to keep your schedule straight? Do those of you with “real jobs” even NEED a calendar? I suppose you still probably have meetings and appointments—do you obsess over it just like we freelancers do?

A lot of folks like to come up with a motto for the new year (yes, I know the year isn’t quite as new anymore, but there’s still way more ahead than behind). I don’t like to limit myself to calendar years generally, as life is more linear and complex than that, but the beginning of year is still a great time to reevaluate yourself.

A good friend has a great “life motto” that I’m kind of adopting. The idea is: never turn down the opportunity to experience something new.

I’m not sure if that’s the exact wording my friend used, but the idea is pretty good. If you are given the opportunity to try something new or do something different…don’t turn it down. (I mean, except for obvious reasons, such as, you’ll end up in jail, it hurts people, you have a prior commitment)…but for instance, that’s why I ended up auditioning for the TSO tribute band I mentioned. Initially I thought, huh, that’s ridiculous and not something I would be into. But then I thought, well, I don’t always love everything I’m doing now, and it might be a great opportunity and a ton of fun, and I just might love it. Worse case, I learn a lot and do something totally different.

This idea continues into many aspects of life: seeing movies that are a bit strange (over the weekend I broadened my horizons by seeing The Great Beauty, which is so not my sort of movie, but it was a neat experience), trying new restaurants (always up for it), going to shows, talking to people, going for a run, saying YES to a lot of things that you want to say no to because they frighten you or you are afraid you’ll be bored or you won’t like it…because the worst that will happen is that you will spend a few hours being bored, but you might potentially spend a few hours experiencing something amazing or even life changing.

Not to be cheesy (mmmm cheese) but it reminds me of that whole thing about how growth occurs outside of your comfort zone.

That’s an important graphic to remember. (I usually hate this kind of thing, but I don’t have any other pictures for this blog post, so there you have it. Obviously you should pin it.)

So those are my thoughts for today. Nothing too deep, just deep enough. In order to make 2014 a better year than last year I have to face my fears and get out there into the world. Even on those days where I just want to stay in bed because it’s safe and warm there…

Do you have a motto for 2014? Or a life motto?

Yesterday a student told me she didn’t want to play on the G String because it was dark and angry sounding, and that’s not how she felt. I told her that music was like acting—that you didn’t have to be angry and gloomy to play gloomy music. What I didn’t tell her was that so often it’s the opposite, that you feel angry and gloomy and have to put on a happy face for the world. She’ll learn that soon enough.

A friend of mine is battling breast cancer. She’s already had a double mastectomy and now she will have to undergo chemotherapy and radiation for the next few months.  She’s going to be fine (yes, yes, she will, the doctors say so too) but I’m still afraid. And I have to stay strong for her, because again, it’s not about me.  I find sending plates of bar cookies home with her kid (student of mine) makes me feel like I’m doing something.

And more so, the recent tragic loss of Drew Thompson, bassoon player in the SLSO. I am shocked and saddened by the news. This isn’t my tragedy, as I had only hung out in a group with him a few times, but I feel so much sympathy for others who were closer to him.

Sometimes I feel like all we get in life is bad news, that life is just full of tragedy with fleeting moments of happiness and hope that never quite comes to fruition.

Here’s the thing: amidst all the awful junk that is happening right now, there is good news. My audition the other day was a success—for what it’s worth—(not a guarantee of work 😉 )—moments of hope, right?

And I have a new polka dot top from Old Navy. Gotta find your moments of happiness in the small things right?

I figure, the world needs more polka dots. We can be sad, we can be angry, but if we dwell too much on the tragedy and forget about our moments of happiness, even if fleeting, if we forget to laugh, to joke, to smile, then we have truly lost.  And we have already lost so much…

A little Bach helps too. This is exactly the mood I’m in.

I had an interesting conversation with my sister Leslie tonight. Well, not really…but she did drop the phrase “well, your blog USED to be more interesting.”

It was like being stabbed in the gut.

I’m kidding. I have no idea how that would feel

Okay fine. It didn’t hurt because I know that my blog has been, well, less than. But I think I’m doing better! Please keep in mind I am not actually looking for constructive criticism here.

Anyway, we were primarily talking about my new Caturday guest cat feature. I think it’s probably best if I limit my cat posts to once a week…well, for the most part. Self-control has never been my forte.

I guess part of it is this: my life got really uninteresting, at least as far as blogging goes, for a bit. And now it’s a little more interesting, and I hope to convey that in the blog. I now have a bike helmet in the back seat of my car—that’s new. I’m going to some yoga/fashion blogger thing Thursday morning (I’m already thinking about what to wear—I presume if you are invited to a “fashionable” yoga class you have to dress fashionably, right?) And I have a recipe I want to share with you guys, many more cats to share, and who knows what else!

Stuff I’ve learned recently:

1. Target brand Q-Tips are not as firm as regular Q-Tips.

2. This recipe for “Herbed Quinoa” is pretty good. Did you know that quinoa is technically a seed, not a grain? Some of my friends and I had a long discussion the other night about grains, seeds, gluten, and shortening. I’m still pretty confused—the more I study Wikipedia the less I know.

3. I posted this on facebook, but it’s worth reiterating here (since many of you might not be facebook friends with me): The other day a student told me she could tell when a note was F because of the hashtag sign next to it.

Arguably this blog post is an example of just giving up, but I figure blogging more means I’m trying and trying is what really counts, right? Now I’m going to hit publish and go do some violin practice.

I feel like lately I’ve had a lot of conversations about things that end up with me saying, oh, yeah, I used to (fill in the blank) but then (voice trails off).

For instance “I used to run around Forest Park weekly, but now…” or “I used to eat really healthy and have a vegetable at every meal, but now…” or “I used to play a different concert with a different orchestra every week, but now…”. The list could go on and on.

The question is: what is important to me. Honestly, I’m eating like crap, and I felt so much better eating better (and I have loads of clothes that are a bit or more too tight, there’s a definite connection there)…I’d like to be that way again. Running…well I definitely need more physical activity in my life, though I’ve been getting better recently. A friend and I have been doing some running and actually I went hiking over the weekend, and that is helping me feel better about myself. (Way easier to force yourself to run when somebody is meeting you too.)

Minor problem, I turned my ankle on a “run” this morning—stepped off the path and MAN that really hurts. I hadn’t rolled my ankle in awhile…and I forgot how freaking much it hurts.  But that’s a little setback, I can deal with a little setback, right? (Ignoring the fact that the entire year feels like it has just been one little setback after another, I will continue to maintain positivity as best as I can.)

Violin wise…it’s always a question of what do I want. My entire adulthood has been based on “hey, I really like playing the violin, how do I make this my living.” It’s a constant stream of trying to cobble everything together…and this year I’m excited to have some regular chamber music rehearsals happening in addition to my teaching, practicing, and wedding gigs.

So…I’ve talked about how I’ve tried to let myself off the hook, (and a few years before that, oh, and wait here’s another one about not comparing myself to…myself) and how I am trying to relax and just be and be okay with that. But honestly, I don’t WANT to eat like crap and just sit around watching netflix. I think that’s boring and among many things, I don’t want to be boring. I also don’t want to look back on my life and the things I used to do fondly, I want to be doing those things. But it’s a challenge, and I know I have to strike a balance figuring out what I am mentally capable of and not to stress myself out more or be too hard on myself…but I don’t want to use that as an excuse.

Though maybe sometimes lying on the couch watching TV and trying to figure out which face angle is best for selfies is just what the doctor ordered…I’ve decided it depends on whether or not my ear is showing as to which side of my face is best. This is the real important stuff I manage to accomplish, rather than checking off important items on my to-do list like getting my BOW REHAIRED.

I do often feel like I’m just going in circles…I’ve written this post over and over, haven’t I? Maybe this time I mean it, with “it” meaning whatever I want it to mean. And I really do need a bow rehair in a bad way, and that needs to happen this week. (We string players have to get the hair on our bows replaced every so often as it gets old and worn out. The bow is made of wood and the hair is horsehair, and that’s the replaceable part.)

A few blog business items:

Check out my posts on Yoplait Fruitful and Wendy’s Flatbread Sandwiches. Help a girl out by checking out the links in the posts, okay?

Oh, and a great idea that started with a comment from a dear reader: want your cat to be included in a semi-regular kitty round up? (I imagine it’ll be on a Caturday)—email me (hannahviolin@gmail.com) with some awesome pictures of your kitty or kitties and I’ll include them in an upcoming post! If you have a blog I’d be happy to link to it, or a twitter handle or whatever. Whatever information you want to share would be awesome.