Teaching

Storms/Klinghoffer

I woke up last night because of a giant thunderstorm/hailstorm.  The best part is:  today the high is 80.  EIGHTY!  (That’s really cold, in case you are confused.)

Yesterday I finished teaching all the students I was teaching while their teacher was on maternity leave.  It was sad to say goodbye.  I know I will see them all around at the school in the fall, but it’s not the same.  They were all great students, and great families too!

That’s part of why I am so excited to be teaching at my new job.  This is the first time I’m officially announcing this on the blog.  Starting in the fall I will only have one job away from the home—I will be teaching three days a week at the St Louis School of Music.  The other days I will be teaching out of my home (and am finally accepting new students again) and that is ALL the teaching I will be doing.  I will have time for gigs, working out, practicing, household errands, and wedding planning.  Oh, and mental health, of course.  This is the sort of place I can envision teaching at for some time.

Yesterday afternoon I saw “The Death of Klinghoffer” by John Adams, performed by the SLSO and Opera Theater St Louis.  It was great.  I’m not a huge opera fan–I get bored by singing…and it tends to go on and on…makes me think of this quote from “Sabrina”–

Linus Larrabee: And I want tickets to whatever Broadway show nobody can get tickets to.
[Mack looks inquisitively at him]
Linus Larrabee: I know, I seldom go to the theatre.
Mack: Seldom?
Linus Larrabee: So, I’m not a theatre buff.
Mack: Buff? The most difficult tickets to get will be for a Broadway musical.
Linus Larrabee: [distractedly] Okay.
Mack: That means that the performers will periodically dance about and burst into song.

But I am definitely glad I saw it.  The opera isn’t what you would typically think of for opera at all, though, and definitely covers difficult subject matter.  I recommend reading the Wikipedia article on it.  (Do you like when I give assignments?)  There was also a number in the second half where a woman sang and danced WHILE DRESSED IN AN 80’S COSTUME COMPLETE WITH PINK LEG WARMERS.  Wish I’d had that for my race.

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from the riverfronttimes article about Klinghoffer

Here’s another interesting article about it.

Does the opera make me think twice about cruising?  No.

By the way, I am getting super excited about Suzuki camp—I leave a week from Sunday for Ottawa Mid-Southwest Suzuki Camp.  I’m doing Teaching Training on Book 5 with Susan Kempter—a true genius!

Also I love dorm living and cafeteria food.  😉

Random thoughts

Hot Concert

The concert yesterday went well, with one caveat:  the air-conditioning was broken!  They did their best to have fans and such, but seriously, it’s hot here.  I know people existed for a long long time without air-conditioning, but not anymore.

Thanks to all of you who came out though!  It was a full house, even with the heat.  I only played on the last piece, so I got to watch the first half.  Chamber Project St Louis did a fantastic job!

Afterwards we hit up the Three Monkeys where I decided to test out my new camera.  I need to play around with it more.  Plus, since I’ve been trying to be a good blogger and take more pictures, my friends are getting annoyed at me.  EVIDENTLY some people don’t just love getting their picture taken all the time.  But that is not my problem.  I don’t take pictures of people I don’t like (well, unless they are really funny looking 😉 ) so please consider it a compliment rather than a punishment.

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Does anybody else find it strange that I have the exact same expression in both of these photos?

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Melissa and me, Todd, Katie

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Vanessa, Kyle (who played on the concert with me).

Some of the other pictures I took were terrible.  Oh well, you’ve seen the other people before.

Anyway, a quick public service announcement:  if you have pizza and beer late at night, chances are you will hurt in the morning when you go for a run.  Plus the self-hatred of having eaten pizza when you are supposed to be trying to lose weight.  Grrr.

Today:  First I am attending the dress rehearsal of The Death of Klinghoffer by John Adams.  It’s performed by Opera Theatre of Saint Louis with the symphony, and (naturally) I have a comp ticket (yes, they evidently sell tickets to the dress rehearsal as well.)  Then I go teach, my last day of maternity leave teaching at the St Louis School of Music.  I’ve had a wonderful time teaching some fabulous students and will miss them.  Tonight I’m getting together with some of my girlfriends for a quasi-ladies night, meaning, all ladies, but we may not do anything more crazy than simply gossip.

Tomorrow:  Two weddings, and then I’m going to St Louis Brewers Festival in Forest Park.  Likely Jen and I will simply camp there overnight and then wake up early to run…saves a lot of trouble.

Sunday:  My last student recital of the spring!!  Two of my students at St Louis Ballet School are performing on the recital.  I will be accompanying on piano…which means today I need to take advantage of the piano in my studio.

Do you have big plans for the weekend?

Random thoughts

Concert tonight

Tonight! Concert starting at 7:30 pm with Chamber Project St Louis at “The Chapel” (location here).  (This is the group that I was ON TV with in January.)  I play on the last piece on the program, but the whole program should be great!

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I have gotten some nice feedback on my post about Body Image.  Thanks for reading guys!  And remember, you can comment ON the blog…

I haven’t gotten to much of the virtual retreat stuff the past few days.  I got really sucked into some wedding planning stuff (who would have thought that I really enjoyed thinking about invitations and paper…oh wait, that’s right up my alley) and have spent many hours doing stuff.  It’s amazing how much time I can spend on this stuff.  I guess wedding planning really DOES take up a lot of time.  But we’re doing well—venue, invitations, officiant, and we are currently working on music and photography.  One thing at a time (or two, if you split up)!  Plus I had my birthday and all…

Anyways, local readers, come to the concert tonight!

Other helpful things:  Vote for the St Louis School of Music to take 5000 1-8 graders around the world with the Ocarina.  Follow this link for information and to vote (it’s not automatic, you have to log in, annoyingly).  I would be involved in the project.

I read a great article by Peter Sagal (host of Npr’s Wait, wait, don’t tell me) about why he works out with a personal trainer.  It spoke to me, as I feel much the same way!  I recommend reading it.

Random thoughts

Post birthday blues

Isn’t the day after your birthday the worse?  You have a whole year to wait…

I guess I have other things to look forward to in the meantime 😉

In any case.  How WAS my birthday you ask?  Well it was wonderful.  I only had one mental breakdown and that came earlier in the day.  Honestly, I remember I turned 30 with no worries, and now I’m starting to freak out about getting old.  Weird, right?  I will likely implode by 40.

BUT.  Chris gave me a fabulous pink camera.  I haven’t gotten around to figuring it out yet, but I will after I do this blog post. 

I had invited some friends to meet for dinner at Vin de Set.  They have a really nice open rooftop seating area, and we wanted to enjoy the weather.  It’s also the top floor of the building where we’ll be getting married so I thought it was meaningful.

Naturally I took some pictures, though on my old camera.  There were a few more people than this too, but not all the pictures were good (surprising!)

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Can you believe Chris is SMILING in a few of those photos?  I’ve been telling him that he needs to get used to getting his picture taken.  Perhaps he has taken my advice to heart.  Or this was the first time he was genuinely happy?

After Vin de Set we hit up 33 Wine Bar (since I was actually turning 33).  We stayed out too late, but I think everybody had a good time.  I know I did!

Random thoughts

Happy Birthday to Me!

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That’s right.  It’s my birthday! And I’m actually wishing myself a happy birthday.  How self-obsessed is that?

(It’s not yet my birthday.  I’m writing this to the future.)

Today will be filled with working out, teaching, and then celebrating with some friends.  I rarely work on my birthday, but I don’t mind…it’s cool. 

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Thanks for all the well-wishes (both those that have already happened and those that have not yet come to pass).  I am sure it will be a fantastic day.

Practicing, Running, Weight

Summer Retreat Day 5: Body Image

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Before I start today’s post, a few things to keep in mind for the upcoming week:

Tuesday, June 7:  My birthday!  I have some plans with friends, and naturally will tell you all about it later!  It involves a delicious dinner.

Thursday, June 9:  Concert starting at 7:30 pm with Chamber Project St Louis at “The Chapel” (location here).  (This is the group that I was ON TV with in January.)

Recent posts (from the weekend) you should read if you haven’t:

A Night at the Circus

Feeling Good

Okay!  Business concluded.  Now for the fun.

Happy Monday, loyal blog readers.  Today I have a few students and a meeting with a woman who makes invitations.  I am also thinking of either going for a run or hitting the gym for some cardio (if it ends up being just way too hot to run in the afternoon, since I didn’t get up early).  Should be a really great day, though hot.

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I am not entirely up to date on the virtual summer retreat, but I think that’s about par for the course and perfectly acceptable.  I’m doing what I can.  It’s been an odd week—I feel like I’m on summer vacation, yet I still have work and stuff to do.  Plus that constant feeling that I am forgetting something but not being able to recall what it is.

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Anyway, I decided to look over Day 5: Body Image for today.  As a woman, obviously I have body image issues.  On the one hand, I’m in better shape today than I have been since I started dating Chris.  On the other hand, it’s not as if I was happy with my body THEN either.  So it’s a double edged sword.  I’m strong, I’m capable, I can run for miles, I can lift heavy objects, I’m in great health.  I can wear SHORTS in public without worrying too much about it, and I can run wearing only those shorts and a sports bra and feel confident.  But it only takes a look, or a thought, or a pair of jeans that are too tight out of the dryer, for those ugly fat thoughts to reenter my head.  I definitely still think of myself as overweight (even though my BMI is not overweight, it’s still on the top end of the scale) but I want OTHER people to think of me as thin.  (and the most beautiful girl in the room…isn’t that what everybody wants?)

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(yes, I always dress in those colors, why do you ask?)

So, what does the VSR recommend?

writing
write a letter to yourself filled with self-compassion. in part 1, you will forgive yourself on any perceived ‘flaws’, and in part 2, detail the many gorgeous and delicious features you have that you LOVE [both inside and out].

Forgive myself for my flaws?  Is she crazy?  How will I improve them if I forgive myself for them?

Oh, I get it.  I’m supposed to be happy in my skin right now.  Rather than consider myself a work in progress…  I am not sure I’m ready to do that.  I am fine with being positive about some of my “gorgeous and delicious” features, but how can I forgive myself for my flaws?  Do I stop with teeth bleaching and hair removal then?   Start eating cheesecake every day?  Quit the gym?  I’m certainly not ready to do any of those things (though the cheesecake is tempting).

Inside and out?  I can embrace my inside—my sense of humor, my quick wit, my patience with children, my kindness, and my guilt.  Yes, I shall embrace my guilt!  (Guilt over what, you ask?  Why, you name it, anything that I could have done that I haven’t!  Constant sense of guilt!)

Outside…I do love my hair, I love that my teeth whitening is working, I love my smile, I love my eyes, I love my height, and yes, I do love that I can wear shorts this summer.  Do you know the last time I wore shorts comfortably all summer?  Without too many worries of people staring at my fat thighs?

But that doesn’t mean I’m ready to settle yet, do you hear?  I want more defined muscles and a smaller waist.  I will get there.  I hope for smaller thighs and butt too, though we’ll see how genetics serve me there.

And I need to quit biting my fingers.  Less mutilated hands would go a long way.  Chris generally thinks I am beautiful all over…except my fingers.  And you know, negative self-hating thoughts.  Meh.

meditation
5 minutes focused on loving yourself — and forgiving yourself for any perceived ‘imperfections’. [emphasis on the word perceived]

I haven’t really embraced the whole meditation aspect of this retreat…yet.  But maybe practicing the violin is sort of like meditating?  You are alone with your music, focusing on the HERE and NOW and concentrating on yourself.  When I watch myself in the mirror playing, sometimes I notice my strong arms, my nimble and able fingers, and I love the profile of myself playing the violin…I think that is when I am most beautiful.  I also know it’s something I do well, better than most everybody else (statistically speaking, there are really so few excellent violinists in the world, that with a margin of error, I could be considered the best.  You know, with a plus or minus 2 percent or something.)  I feel a great sense of confidence when playing, backed up with years of experience and tens of thousands of hours of practice.

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Haven’t changed that much either!

thoughts about violin, teaching, running, life.